You know sometimes the headlines just kind of flow, don’t they? Well, how about that for an exhilarating day of sports, yesterday. The Bears began their opener with much promise and enthusiasm and then tried to provide us with a way to experience the pain of frontier dentistry.
The Cubs reminded us…again…that they’re not going to win or lose this thing until the very last day of the season. Nothing like following up the most exciting win of the season with three hours of televised nap time.
We should have just cancelled Sunday because Saturday was pretty perfect. The Cubs came from behind in a game they had to win. Notre Dame, which looked like they had decided to try and compete for the NCAA D-III title this year (I think Mount Union can take them) jumped up and smacked Michigan around. Even Illinois…oh, never mind.
But let’s start with the Bears, because unlike any of the weekend’s other big contests, theirs was narrated by Brian Baldinger.
I was trapped listening to the first half on the radio and let me tell you, you should not try and paint and listen to Jeff Joniak and Hub Arkush at the same time. It was twenty minutes after I’d done it that I noticed I’d written MORANS in dark brown letters on my front porch. That explains why the neighbors kept honking at me and yelling.
They yelled two things, mainly:
“I hope you fall off that ladder and die, you dumbass!”
or
“Hey, he finally learned how to spell his name!”
You gotta love small town living. Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah. The Bears.
In the first half, Hub kept going nuts every time David Terrell would catch a pass. First he went nuts with joy because like Hub, Terrell went to Michigan. Unlike Hub, the fraternity hazing that Terrell endured did not involve wrestling a nude Bo Schembechler in a huge vat of ketchup. Hub was also going nuts because of Terrell’s “antics” after his catches. I’m thinking, “Calm down, Hub. It can’t be that bad.”
Later I saw some of the replays, and while I’m not a trained psychoanalyst, I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that David Terrell is insane.
But the Bears were in control in the first half. Some bank sponsors a three and out thing on WBBM this year and the Bears cashed in on the first two possessions. They scored first and had a 7-3 lead at the half. I settled in to let the genius of Brian Baldinger wash over me (and just in time to watch Miguel Cabrera’s cute little Moises-Bartman re-enactment—let’s just say Glendon Rusch only did one thing right yesterday and hitting Cabrera was it). Things looked good. The Bears got tricky on a punt return and threw a reverse at the befuddled Lions. Justin Gage was showing off his 4.9 speed and after a couple of nice blocks he decided to fall down and take a nap at the 20.
Three plays later the Bears were forced to settle for a field goal. But with the way the defense was playing, getting a seven point lead again seemed like a pretty good spot to be in. Then, Mr. Ed’s kick was blocked, and Lions’ DB Bracey Walker picked it up. We’ve seen this movie 1,000 times. A guy scoops up a blocked field goal inside his own ten and he gets about three yards before the kicking team piles on him. Right?
Walker managed to break a tackle and then Mr. Ed came flying in out of nowhere and whiffed on him. Walker started to pick up blockers and cut across the field. Brad Maynard turned tail and ran. He actually hid under the Gatorade table on the Bears’ sidelines. The only Bear who got close to Walker the rest of the way was Mr. Ed…again. Paul Edinger had enough time to dive and miss a tackle, get up and chase him down and have another shot at him, and nobody else on the team could catch this guy? I’ve seen people make more of an effort to catch an elevator in a four story building.
It was 10-7 Lions, but it felt like 20-7. Especially when Desmond Clark made a nice catch, then a great move and then a hellacious fumble on the very next play from scrimmage. The Lions recovered it. Because it was close, Lovie Smith challenged it. It was ironic because when the officials first convened after the fumble, Steve Mariucci was so worried they were going to take the fumble away from Detroit that he ran and got his red challenge flag. The officials stuck with their call and Mariucci handed his flag back to the…uh…flag coach? Lovie found his and threw it. Through my very biased eye I thought Clark’s knee was down just before Teddy Lehman tore the ball out of Clark’s arms. But, it was probably too close to overturn. Anyway, it turned out to be doubly bad, because after the Lions scored to make it 13-7, the Bears had another challengeable play. Terrell made a circus catch down the sideline for a first down, and lost the ball when it hit out of bounds. It was only a seven yard pickup and the play was too close to challenge if you’d already lost yourself a timeout, so Lovie didn’t challenge it. The Bears still had third down, but of course they failed on that.
Speaking of circus catches. Roy Williams made one for the Lions which is the wide receiver equivalent of that run Barry Sanders made against the Bears in which Dante Jones and Marty Carter both missed him three times. It was ludicrous.
Down by six, the Bears started a pretty good drive at the end of the third quarter. It included a play you hardly ever see. A wide receiver reverse that gains 20 yards with a holding call in it that the defense declines. Why would they decline it? Because the 2004 Bears are good at drawing 15-yard penalties. Olin Kreutz smacked Walker in the head after the play and instead of marching ten yards from the spot of the foul, they went fifteen from the new line of scrimmage. This, apparently, is progress.
The Bears did score on the drive, when Thomas Jones fell in from two yards out. The Bears were up 14-13 and the defense had played great. All they needed was a good kickoff and for the Lions to have to mount a 70 yard drive.
Instead, Eddie Drummond returned the kick to the Bears 49 and…blah.
The Bears final drive came after they nearly foiled Steve Mariucci’s choice to take a safety and make it 20-16 and kick from the 20 instead of punting from their end zone. RW McQuarters had a good return and the Bears took over on the Detroit 47 with no timeouts and 1:47 to go.
Grossman hit Terrell for a 19 yard gain to the 28 and Soldier Field was a pretty exciting place. Terrell did some weird dance and then manically tried to find a ref to give the ball to and it prompted Baldinger to say, “I guess he can’t just catch a pass and put the ball down.” Brian Johnson caught a short pass and saved valuable yards by breaking a tackle and getting out of bounds. Jones plunged ahead to the nine yard line. The Bears had a first down and more than a minute left. No problem…right?
Wrong.
Grossman did the one thing he didn’t have time to, he got sacked. Then, he gave away a precious play by spiking the ball to stop the clock. Suddenly it’s third down. Now the clock’s not really your enemy as long as you just throw two passes into the end zone. If you get stopped on the field of play, there’s probably enough time to run the fourth down play, but you have to have brains enough not to spike the ball and end it.
Grossman took that out of the equation. He rolled right and didn’t have anybody open. Baldinger pointed out that the Bears’ receivers had been really bad, all day at scrambling to open spots on the field when a pass play broke down, and here, on third down, nobody was moving. It looked like Grossman was going to run, and that would have been bad because he’d have gotten no closer than the four yard line. Then he rared back to pass. You figured he was throwing it out of the offense to try again on fourth down. Instead he threw it to…who else…Walker and the game was over.
The frustrating thing wasn’t that play, though it was a bad one. But how do you lose to the Lions at home? They’d lost 24 in a row on the road. They lost their best defensive player in the first half (Dre’ Bly), they lost their best receiver on the first series (Charles Rogers–yet another season ending collarbone break–he’s the Ron Powlus of the NFL), and they tried to hand you the game, twice, and you still lost to them. This…this is not good.
The schedule is not kind to the Bears. They go to Lambeau on Sunday, then to the Rollerdome to play the Vikings, then home games against the Eagles and Redskins. Hello 0-5! Then again, what do I know, I’m already out of the Yahoo! Survival Football League. That’ll teach me to risk it all early on an expansion team.
The think you had to like was the stand up way Grossman took the blame for the loss. Had it been me I’d have been pointing fingers so fast and so furiously it would have looked like I was a porcupine. “Terrell’s insane and why was he hiding in the corner of the end zone? What’s with our special teams? How do you give up a 92 yard blocked field goal return, this isn’t junior high! Would it kill RW to cover somebody?” Instead, Rex took the blame and said it’d never happen again.
Not that exact way, I’m sure. I believe you, Rex. But it’ll happen again. These are the Bears.
——–
The best part of Notre Dame’s 28-20 win over Michigan wasn’t the win itself but it was the look on Luh-loyd Carr’s face when he realized his team was going to lose it’s first road game for the FIFTH straight season. This is not a good Notre Dame team. They played with passion and the freshman running back had a good day, and sure they do have a good defense, but Michigan got three turnovers in the first half and only had a 9-0 lead? That’s what cost them.
——–
Funny thing how the Marlins are still behind the Cubs in the standings, blew a lead in game three and think they accomplished something with a 2-2 split of the weekend’s series. The Cubs shouldn’t take too much enjoyment out of the split either, considering they scored two runs in the series off of Pavano, Willis and Burnett. Nomar’s groin has fallen off, but who needs him? Neifi Perez is hitting .700 as a Cub! I think we all saw that coming.
It’s sad that we won’t get to see the “real” Nomar this year. No matter what happens the rest of the way, he’s just not going to be close to healthy. It has to eat at him that he’s proving the Red Sox trade to be the right move for them. They’re winning and though Orlando Cabrera is no Nomar, he’s healthy so it looks like a great trade for the Red Sox. Now, if Orlando’s back flares up again, or he goes 0-the playoffs it won’t look so good. But you know Nomar has to be a little upset that the Red Sox are playing so well.
In a strange way, the injury helps the Cubs in the long run. They are going to sign Nomar in the offseason. They have put themselves in a position where they almost have to to justify the trade, plus they want him, so it’s a no-brainer. They’ll give him whatever it takes. But, as they proved with Greg Maddux, the price isn’t set. Nomar might get $14 million a year, he might get $12. They’ll load it with incentives so he can equal the value of the deal he turned down in Boston last year. But with yet another injury on his list, and few teams he’s interested in, in need of a shortstop, it’s going to save the Cubs some money.
My fearless prediction (and I’m not saying I’m a 100 percent on board with this, but I just have a hunch) some of that money will end up in the pocket of the team’s new left fielder…JD Drew.
The Cubs will see lots of Pirates, Reds and Mets the rest of the way. Though we all know that hasn’t exactly been a recipe for success for this team. But then again, what has?
—-
Dusty’s finally seen enough of the Cubs “mental” errors. Hey, it only took five months.
Todd Walker says the Cubs’ fans have a right to boo. Yeah, but do you guys have to give them so many reasons to do it?
The Bears can’t serve beer at home games now. They lost the opener! Wow, there’s an old joke.
David Terrell is weird.
The Lions’ are going to get Rex for celebrating a roughing the passer call. Hey, they had another half of football to do it. I would think they had their chance.
Mariotti is suddenly a big Grossman fan. That’ll change..and then back…
The Marlins like Chicago. What’s not to like?
The Wizard of Roz on…lots of stuff.
Peter King’s Monday Morning Quarterback.
Doug Selky from our London Bureau sent this in.
He then flew to our North Korea Bureau and sent us this. Man, he gets around. And sure, I believe that North Korea blows up mountains all the time.
Al Gore’s looking pretty fit, ain’t he?
America’s finest news source with the most popular clubs this year:
I’m with you 100% on JD Drew, I really really REALLY hope that happens. Unfortunately, they like him in Atlanta and that franchise isn’t exactly a small market pauper, so I don’t any reason they don’t re-sign him for themselves.
Personally, I think a very nice consolation prize that also ought to be a bit cheaper than possible due to injury is Maggs. Sweet justice to bring him over from the Sux, no?? We take away Sosa from them for 12 years, use him up and discard him. Grab Ordonez, use him up for 6 years or so, and discard him.
Rinse, lather, repeat.
I was at the Mich-ND game and missed the come back win by the Cubs. What was amazing about that ND game was how incompetent Michigan looked in the second half. Carr’s a joke. Third and nineteen and ND has all the momentum, maybe you try for a first down instead of a silly draw play that nets you 6 yards. Awful day for this Michigan grad.
After reading how Carl Pavano left Bartman tickets, Miguel Cabrera did an imitation of the incident, and Trader/Senile Jack’s smart-ass comments, I may now find myself hating the Marlins nearly as much as the Satanic Fowl.
Everyone acts like the Cub players themselves were the ones who picked them to win the 2004 World Series or annointed their pitching staff the best in baseball. Funny, I don’t remember any Cub player or member of the coaching/management staff boasting such things. These expectations were all concocted by the media. Along with those expectations came a lot of pressure, and admittedly the Cubs haven’t handled it very well. Nevertheless, the taunting and snide comments by opponens and the media seem to be getting a little ridiculous.
By the way, Chip used the word "damn" in a phrase yesterday afternoon. I was shocked. I may call for his resignation.
Andy,
I’d rather have Edgar.
Dave B.,
write a letter to Michael Powell (or, as Howard Stern calls him derisively, "Colin Powell Jr.) at the FCC registering your outrage.
http://www.fcc.gov/cgb/complaints.html
#1, Atlanta IS a small market pauper. They don’t draw enough, and they’re owned by a corporation that has mandated payroll cuts almost every year. That’s why the Braves dump a lot of high priced free agents every year. However, they’re smart enough to keep the right ones.
You just know the Cubs are going to lose 2 out of 3 to the Pirates right? I mean, this whole season has been one where we just can’t get going.
Illinois football: Yuck. Once again these guys seem more fit for the Big 12 (Not the college conference, the Central Illinois high school conference) than the Big 10.
Illinois basketball: Blah. Julian Wright committed to Kansas over Illinois and a couple other schools this weekend. Bruce Weber just can’t seem to get, you know, star recruits. And you just might need one or two of those type of guys to get to the Final Four. Let’s hope we do it in the next year or two, I’m really beginning to think we won’t if we can’t even get the top players from our own state.
The Bears: What in the world are we supposed to think of this team? The offense looks like an actual NFL offense for the first time in a while, and the defense looked pretty good, but we committed so many penalties and turned the ball over so much we lost a game we should have won.
J.D. Drew is having the classic contract year.
I think Ordonez is the better answer if we are wanting to put money into that spot. If not, then we either get Hollandsworth or Dubois there for 2005.
Renteria always seems to kill us and he’s very good with the glove, but his offensive stats aren’t THAT great.
Ya know, BC, we still have high school football!
Both the alma mater AND my current local eleven are still undefeated, and heading for a collision course in the 4A playoffs….woo hoo!
Atlanta a small market team? You are really a moran. Atlanta is the #11 market in the country, just behind Houston. They are nearly 4 million rednecks in the Atlanta metro. Plus, they are the regional team, sucking in fans from the Carolinas, Tennessee, Alabama, Mississippi, North Florida. Add in the national TBS coverage, and Atlanta is in great shape.
Where is my pudding?
All you need to know about JD Drew is that he was injured earlier this season swimming in a friend’s pond. First, how many major leaguers swim in ponds? And second, how many people actually get injured in ponds?
Is John Kerry going to Rio De Janeiro?
Atlanta is owned by Time Warner, and they have cut payroll for the Braves around 20 million dollars the past couple seasons if I recall correctly.
Also if I recall correctly, the Braves have to cut another 5 million from their budget for players for next season.
We apologize, Dave B.
How dare we "concoct" the notion that a team a few pitches away from the World Series, adding payroll, and working with an open checkbook throughout the season is expected to make the playoffs?
Trader Jack(ass):
If you don’t eat your meat you can’t have any pudding…how can you have pudding if you don’t eat your meat!?
Hey, I expected them to make it, too. But when their two aces each miss two months, their closer misses most of the season, their RF misses 30-plus games, and their SS misses 40-plus games, those expectations take a beating.
Whether or not they make the playoffs and live up to these expecations remain to be seen, but the reality is that they had an inordinate amount of injuries and haven’t played as well as they probably should have up to this point. But for Florida (and many others) act like the Cubs deserve to be ridiculed because of the pre-season prognositcations is ridiculous.
Got a pool and a pond, J.D. . . . Pond would be good for you.
Thanks for the payroll numbers BC, that was my main point. In addition, I don’t believe that the Astros are considered a major market team. And I don’t know about those other states, but nobody in the Carolinas gives a damn about the Atlanta Braves.
Maybe it was one of them cement ponds.
Wish I could listen to the Expos-marlins game at the Joan, but ESPN’s gamecast shows that the Expos drove in 2 runs in the top half of the first to lead 2-0 in the top of the third.
I wouldn’t have gotten hurt except I got attacked by one of them septics.
At least that’s what I think he said. Something about a septic pond.
I once strained my oblique muscle in my first batting practice back from the DL.
B.C.–Does the noose chafe your neck? You are just shooting rays of sunshine out your fingertips! Keep up the positive attitude, fella!
What? He can afford a noose?
Memo to Greg Maddux: The wind is howling out of the south at 16 mph. Keep the ball down and pitch around Jason Bay. He single-handedly took 3 of 5 from the Astros this weekend.
What in the hell do I mean?
#25, you don’t mean anything. It’s just one of those phrases that I came up with in the middle of one of those sentences I like to start without actually knowing what I want to say so I just kind of trail off…without a point.
#25–Aren’t you how B.C. fashioned the noose he is currently trying to heave over his U of I dorm rafter?
These are great ideas! I’ll sign Nomar, Maggs and JD Drew. Then with those guys and Sosa, we can have MLB’s mostly highly paid disabled list!
…Ok, B.C., that Rio de Janeiro comment wasn’t bad, but I’m still an assclown…
I would NEVER snort Coke off of a hooker.
I would eat a cheezburger off of one, though. I HAVE licked reddi-wip off of one…
…ssshh. I’ll go away now.
I didn’t shut out the Cubs when I was last in Chicago (a few days ago). I shut out Marlins though. I am invincible!
Where am I?
I don’t think my dorm HAS rafters…
Am I really starting tonight against the Cubs? Has anyone ever heard of me before?
They showed a big picture of Steve Bartman on the jumbotron during the Marlins/Expos game at the Cell, and all the Sox fans (and um, "Marlins fans") gave it a standing O.
Classy!
I’m blowing sunny’s game.
I’m blowing it too. My picture on mlb gameday is in a Sux uniform.
I hope Jack McKeon remembers to send Frank Robinson a fruitcake for Chirstmas. Dumbass Robinson pulled his starting pitcher after only 90 pitches while pitching 7 innings of shutout ball.
Trader Jack, put me in to close. It’ll be just like old times!
Montreal must have been watching the Cubs lately with that eighth inning performance.
Damn straight Mike D. Stupid Frank, that bastard screwed the Sunny dude.
Nice eighth for the Expos. With the bases loaded and nobody out, Miguel Batista hit a tailor made double play (actually it could have been a triple play) grounder right at the third base bag. Tony Batista picked it up, went to step on the bag to start it around the horn, dropped it, picked it up, dropped it again. He didn’t get anybody out.
Then, Lowell popped up to end the inning. Nope, wait, that was the first out.
Sledge makes a great catch on what could have been a bases clearing triple so only one run scores, tying the game at two. The next batter hits a pop up to left that Jungle Juan Rivera drops to let in two more.
Guh.
That 8th inning was the worst display of fundamentals that I’ve seen in a game that I wasn’t playing in. Chip and Steve should be fired for that!
Too bad you have no idea whether or not I actually tried to get Chip or Steve fired.
The only proven fact seems to be that many of the Cub players simply don’t like the announcers — everything about them "blaming" Chip and Steve for their own shortcomings is speculation.
Not liking them and not wanting to ride next to Chip on the plane does not necessarily equal to scapegoating Chip for baserunning errors.
Why am I arguing with myself? Couldn’t I just name my dissenting side something other than Moises? Get out of my head!
I stated yesterday that my family is safe in Florida. Is that because they don’t exist?
Sorry Chip, I killed your imaginary family, and I killed your imaginary dog, too.
NOOOO!
You bastard, Harvey how could you do this to me. Couldn’t you have just gone up, over, and across. At least I have the beege and albie.
Up over and across is what Steve does while tossing my salad.
Yeah, because we played perfect fundamental baseball against the Cubs. We practically handed you guys 3 of those games, and you wouldn’t take them. Don’t come crying to us now, bitche$
Too bad you have no idea whether or not I actually had Stoney toss my salad.
Liking Stoney and being a homo does not necessarily equal gay sex.
But what about Biggio Chip?
Won’t that equal gay sex?
Wait, so the Marlins won? You mean we actually need to beat Pittsburght tonight?!? Throats tightening…
"But what about Biggio Chip?"
Flirting and cuddling is not gay sex. Besides, I’m saving myself for marriage.
Oh and Edmonds, stay away from my dog. "Woof" means "woof."
Great, now tomorrow we are going to be treated to several columns by various Chicago hacks talking about what a fun loving, gutty bunch of guys the Marlins are. Just like today.
Hey, if the Cubs lose, the Bears go 0-16, Notre Dame drops football to be in Title IX compliance, at least I’ll go and snort a line or two to keep you guys cheered up:
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=1880816
Neifi Perez must be our answer to who is going to jump start this team. Our you kidding me, this guy is hitting over .700 as a Cub. I just wish we had some more games at home.
Nomar’s got nothing on me!
Did I miss the memo?
Did the Cubs actually play a pretty complete game tonight? Whoa… That was unexpected.
I didn’t have my A game tonight. I didn’t have my AA game, either. In fact, I pitched about as bad as that joke.
Sigh. Gay jokes? Is that all this site has when it’s not ripping the Cubs, the board’s supposed "favorite" team?
Wait, this must be a 5th grade board; that would explain the totally crushing insult of calling another person gay.
Not that it matters or that anyone of you care, but am I still alive? You do know I am allergic to ivy.
Didn’t I hang myself in Shawshank Redemption?
In case you forgot, I’m pretty good, I’m a hall-of-famer-to-be, and I’m on the Cubs. You’re welcome.
Why no love, Andy? How have I not pleased you? I know your site needs another cheerleader girl for the Cubs’ stretch run this year, am I not worthy anymore? Call me.
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