NCAA President Myles Brand is trying to decide if he should postpone men’s NCAA Tournament games this weekend due to the war, scheduled to start Wednesday night at 7 p.m. on NBC, CBS, ABC, Fox, MSNBC, Fox News, etc.

I’d like to take this moment to make a plea to President Brand that the games go on as scheduled. Actually, Desipio columnist Karry Ling is going to make the plea. I’m going to translate for him.

Karry: Hello again, President Myles, it’s your old friend Karry Ling here again. I know you are in a tough situation, but I want to make a plea to you to make sure those NCAA Tournament games go on as planned this weekend. If you cancel the games, the terrorists win!

Andy’s translation: Hello again, President Brand, it’s obscure Internet columnist Karry Ling. I know you’re in a tough situation, but I want to make a plea to you to make sure those NCAA Tournament games go on as planned this weekend. If you cancel the games, my bookie adds points to the vigorish!

Karry: Many basketball fans across the nation, including some of us here in the Desipio newsroom are looking at the NCAA Tournament as a chance to take our minds off the war. A chance to let the specatacle of sport raise our spirits and provide a rallying point for us in a time of crisis.

Andy’s tranlsation: Many basketball fans across the nation, including the nitwits who work at Desipio are planning on calling in sick on Thursday and Friday and we’d much rather watch our tournament brackets than six hours of Dan Rather sweating through a Members Only jacket in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia.

Karry: I think it was Winston Churchill, in 1941 who said it best when he said,
“Some people wish they could be like Moses
And get their information from burning bushes
Well I tried but the neighbors complained
I set their lawns aflame”

The message is clear, Mr. President Myles, sir! As the Astrodome fans said to the Bad News Bears, let them play, let them play, let them play!

Andy’s translation: I am without speech. Other than Karry quoted a Josh Joplin Group song and not Winston Churchill. Still, not bad.

Thank you Karry. You can go back to drinking wild turkey and watching Golden Girls reruns now.

Big news! We’ve started a Desipio Office Pool at espn.com and IT’S FREE! We know you like free. Compete against the greats, like Jake and Smitty and me to win fabulous prizes! Of course, we’re not giving away the prizes…ESPN is. Anyway, log in at games.espn.go.com and head to the Tournament Challenge. Our group is called, creatively enough, Desipio Office Pool.

As well, we still need a couple of owners for our Desipio fantasy baseball league on espn.com. The draft is Saturday, March 29. E-mail me at andy@desipio.com for the secret password.

We were going to give away some swag to the tournament winner, and still might. But you know, it wouldn’t kill any of you to buy a freakin’ t-shirt, would it? I can attest, it’s a nice t-shirt. Oh, well.

The Score was reporting a rumor yesterday that the Cubs and Expos are talking about a Jose Vidro swap. The deal would likely include Bobby Hill and Juan Cruz and could also involve The Farns if Michael Barrett were added to the package. I doubt this trade for this very ridiculous, but likely reason. The Expos are going to play a number of games in Puerto Rico this season. Guess where Jose Vidro’s from? Do we really think the ‘Spos would deal their hometown boy just before the season?

Another trade rumor that won’t die is this one. It’s a three way deal that would send Juan Cruz to Boston, Shea Hillenbrand to Florida and Mike Lowell to the Cubs. The Marlins want to trade Lowell, but want a cheap third baseman in return. Hillenbrand makes the league minimum (as Jake Taylor would say). The Cubs don’t want Hillenbrand, but the BoSox have a Juan Cruz chubby going. The holdup is that both Boston and Florida want more than one player from the Cubs. Meaning that if Jim Hendry were going to do this deal right now it’d end up being three for one. Stay tuned.

In either case, nitwits like Score morning host Mike Murphy will decry a Bobby Hill trade as the refusal of the Cubs to “go young.” Bobby Hill’s 25. Jose Vidro’s 28. Shea Hillenbrand is 27. Mike Lowell just turned 29. It’s not like they’re dealing Doogie Howser for Doc from the Love Boat.

The Cubs have a bullpen surplus right now. They have room for six guys and five are locks (Mike Remlinger, El Pulpo, Mark Guthrie, Dave Veres and The Farns). That leaves one spot for Rod Beck, Joe Borowski, Juan Cruz and Alan Benes. If you have to you can send Juan to AAA, but you still have to cut two guys. With an anemic offense, it seems likely that Hendry will trade one of his pitchers for somebody. So there’s a better than good chance that either Juan or the Farns will have a new address on opening day.

As long as they don’t trade Carlos Zambrano, it’s all fine by me.

I don’t know how many of you get Showtime, but if you don’t, you are missing out. The single greatest new reality show of the year is on the cable pay network. It’s called “Family Business” and it’s about Adam Glasser, a surprisingly likable guy in his late 30s who works in the family business (hence the name of the show) with his mother and his cousin Stevie. The family business just happens to be porn! Adam’s biggest problem is that it’s hard for him to date. He goes out with normal women and they like him until he tells them that he films (and occasionally stars in) adult movies, and that his specialty is anal sex and his stage name is Seymore Butts.

The best part of this show is Cousin Stevie, the breakout star of 2003. Old, crusty, foul mouthed and lonely. Cousin Stevie always ends up running the crap errands. Two weeks ago he had to go buy some “lube” for one of the shoots and ended up being late getting back to the set because he stopped to get a lap dance. In fact, he answered his cell phone, while getting said lap dance.

Just a great show.

If you caught last night’s “Married By America” you had to feel bad for dorky Matt who got dumped on last night’s show by weird looking Cortez. I never understood why his family picked her in the first place.

But my real problem is with NYC restaurant owner Steve, who got set up with a hottie, Denise D. (my personal favorite of all of the ‘contestants’). Steve is acting like Denise has some sort of horrible skin rash. Meanwhile, dopey big guy Kevin at least had the brains to jump all over his brand new fiance, superhot Jill. Anyway, this show is so bad, you can’t not watch it.

Mike Downey with a good one on a guy none of us have ever heard of.

Western Kentucky insists they aren’t afraid of the Illini. They should be.

Like we said before, the NCAA is considering postponing some of the games.

Bob Sakamoto muses on the improbable.

Sam Smith says the Bulls would be a pretty good seed in the tournament.

Dusty wants Sammy to rest. Hey, if it doesn’t stop raining in Arizona, everybody’s going to be well rested.

Greg Couch on what the hell a IUPUI is.

Mariotti puts down the doughnut to urge the NCAAs to roll on.

Mark Grudzielanek is going to very likely start the season on the DL.

Herb Gould and I have the same final game and three of the same Final Four teams. Brian Hanley and Herb both have Illinois in the Final Four, too. Gulp.

ARod won’t be healthy for opening day, but he’ll be in the lineup.

Rap on the end of the road for Mark Grace.

The Wizard of Roz on ex-Cardinals safety Pat Tillman’s role in the war.

Hey, the Bears will have an even tougher time missing next year’s playoffs. They can still do it, though.

Peter Gammons on gay porn star Craig Biggio’s move to center.

Peter King on football. Good stuff. I like Kyle Boller, too. That’s just me. I wouldn’t be shocked if the Bears took him at number four. I’m not saying….I’m just saying.

Stewey writes a horrible how-to-pick your NCAA tourney bracket column. Just pick the good teams. They always win in the end. Don’t freak out about first round upsets, and for chrissakes, don’t try and pick them. The guy who wins the pool is the guy with the most teams left in the sweet sixteen. Mark my words.

EW puts odds on the Oscars.

EW likes “Auto Focus” the Greg Kinnear-Maria Bello movie on the life of “Hogan’s Hero” Paul Crane. I just like Maria Bello.

America’s finest news source with news that Congress accidentally approved some arts funding.