Lost amid the sound and fury (signifying nothing) of the past few weeks, one Cub is playing better than ever and is about to do something really important.
No, it’s not Gabor Bako, though his next strikeout (in, I’m sure, his next at bat) will be his 350th career K.
Little Greggie Maddux is about to become the last guy to win 300 games as a big league pitcher. This is kind of a big deal. But he’s not particularly likely to make it seem like a big deal.
If he were Roger Clemens he’d be planning time on QVC to hock some 300th win swag, or he’d be sewing a pathetic patch onto his glove. He’d be changing uniform tops every inning so he’d have more of them to sell on eBay from his 300th win.
By the way, Clemens has announced he’s going to sell his oldest son on eBay next month. You remember him, he’s the drooly one.
Maddux even said yesterday that when he wins his 300th game he’s not going to let the Hall of Fame have his glove. He said he’s got 10 or more starts to make after that, he’ll need the glove. They can have it after the season.
The truth is, Maddux 300th win has kind of sneaked up on us. While we were caught up in the daily pathos of the Cubs quest to squander their best team in 96 years, he started pitching great in July. In just this month he’s 4-1 with a 2.29 ERA. In his last three starts he’s allowed only 14 hits in 24 innings, three runs and one walk.
The walk he allowed was when he pitched around Lyle Overbay with two outs and runners on second and third in last night’s game. He then struck out Brady Clark on three pitches to end Milwaukee’s only real threat of the game.
The Cubs took batting practice off of Ben Sheets in the first and third innings and never looked back. They even enjoyed a very un-Cublike ninth inning when they loaded the bases with no outs and scored three runs without a hit. Sure, two of the runs scored on wild pitches, but normally, the Cubs swing at those.
It was nice to hear the crowd erupt in the ninth when Bako’s spot came due with the bases loaded and nobody out and Bako had to walk back to the dugout to be pinch hit for by Michael Barrett. Somewhere Don Baylor was screaming “you can’t pinch hit for the catcher!”
Another nice site was a sign in the stands, held up by a guy in a Cubs’ jersey, that read, “I’m a Cubs fan but I’d rather listen to Daron and Bill than Chip and Steve.”
See, I’m not the only one. The last two nights have been pleasant, and not just because of the beautiful weather or the Cubs’ wins. I’ve been watching the games on Fox Sports North (DirecTV channel 642) instead of Fox Sports Chicago. I needed a break from the smarm and smug of Chip and Steve.
Plus, it was interesting last night to hear Daron Sutton talk about Maddux going for 300 wins. Daron knows something about it, since his dad, Don, won his 300th game with the Angels in 1986. Bill Schroeder’s not the most brilliant color man ever, but he’s not bad and has an actual, tangible sense of humor. It’s nice. It also points out, or rather hammers home, just how terrible Chip is.
Last year the Braves and Giants ran away with the division titles in the NL East and West and the Cardinals are doing it right now in the NL Central. I don’t have to remind you what happened to the Giants and Braves in the playoffs. Don’t you think that the Cardinals look at the wild card standings and hope like hell that terribly flawed teams like the Giants or Padres can hold off the Cubs? Well, sorry to disappoint you, Redbird fans, but the Cubs are just a game back, and the difference between them and everybody else in the wild card race is that the Cubs will send out a pitcher every day who is at worst…as good as, normally better than…the other teams’ pitcher.
There’s a trade rumor that ties in with this that we’ll get to in a minute, but first I want to give you three fearless predictions about the trade deadline.
I really miss the days when the deadline was at midnight. Now it’s at 4 p.m. Eastern time. In the old days you could wait up and watch ESPN and listen to all of Peter Gammons’ trade rumors get torpedoed and Harold Reynolds have no idea who any of the minor leaguers in any of the trades were. In fact, I very nearly put a shoe through my TV at just after midnight, August 1, 1998 when ESPN announced these two trades back-to-back.
Cubs trade Jon Garland to the White Sox for Matt Karchner
Astros trade Freddy Garcia, John Halama and Carlos Guillen to the Mariners for Randy Johnson
I didn’t care (and still don’t) that they traded Garland, but when all you get at the trade deadline is a fat reliever who can’t remember to shave from day-to-day and the team you are chasing gets the best pitcher in baseball…well, it makes you sad. Or angry. I really miss having Ed Lynch around, and I’m so excited that he’s still scouting for the club. Guh.
OK, anyway, my three fearless predictions.
1) The Cubs will trade, at the deadline, for Expos shortstop Orlando Cabrera. They will also swing a deal for “Tie a Yellow Ribbon” singer Tony Orlando and a player to be named later. The PTBNL will not be Dawn.
2) Kenny Williams will bolster the Sox offense with a big trade. He will believe he has traded for Marlins’ stud Miguel Cabrera. Only later will he find he actually traded for actor Miguel Ferrer. Kenny will try and spin the trade, pointing out the good genes Ferrer has…after all, George Clooney is his cousin.
3) The Red Sox and Cubs will make a huge trade, even bigger than the two previous July trades they’ve made (Jimmy Anderson for a player to be named and Ricky Gutierrez for a player to be named) when the Cubs send the Red Sox Trent Hubbard and Denny Hocking for TWO players to be named.
Yes, the Cubs have Denny Hocking. He’s like Jose Macias without the tan. And he’s also the hilarious answer to the question, “Has a player ever been injured in a postgame dogpile celebration?” Hee hee. Hocking sprained his ankle in one with the Twins and missed the ALCS against the Angels.
—
Gordon Edes has an interesting take on the Cubs and Red Sox and Nomar and Randy Johnson. He, like the rest of the free world seems to think it’s a forgone conclusion that Johnson is going to the Yankees. He also thinks that if Randy hadn’t been a dick that the Cubs would have Nomar, the Sawx would have the Unit and the Snakes would have some erstwhile prospects right now. But Gordon thinks the Cubs and Sawx are still talking about the Nomar-Clement deal.
In his version the Cubs trade Clement and Alex Gonzalez to the Sawx for Nomar. Clean, simple, efficient. In my mind, it’s a no-brainer. Clement is a very good pitcher, but the Cubs aren’t going to bring him back for next year. It’s obvious his teammates don’t like him, and that’s why they don’t score when he pitches. OK, I’m kidding.
Jim Hendry can have Orlando Cabrera whenever (or if ever) he wants him. He’s waiting on Nomar and will likely wait until just before the deadline. The reason is simple. Nomar’s the best available player and he’s really only available to the Cubs. The Sox aren’t bringing him back for next year. Hendry knows that if Nomar finishes the season in Boston he’ll go “home” to sign with the Dodgers or Angels in the offseason. But Hendry’s sure (and I think he’s right) that if Nomar were to spend the last two (hopefully three) months of this season in Wrigley that the Cubs will have a huge leg up in signing him long term. That is, of course, provided that a hunk of concrete doesn’t kill Mia while she’s sitting in the stands watching a game. Then again, depending on how the marriage is going…
Can you trade a pitcher of Clement’s caliber in the middle of a pennant race? If everybody were healthy, given the emergence of Glendon Rusch, you certainly could. But in Hendry’s disaster plan, he has to have a scenario where Prior or Wood gets reinjured and Remlinger falls apart completely. If Prior and Wood get hurt, then it doesn’t matter if you have Clement or Nomar or the ghost of Honus Wagner, you’re screwed.
Can you do the trade now, anyway? Yes. It’s a way of giving yourself a chance to win now by filling your most glaring weakness (offensive inconsistency) and setting yourself up for next year with Nomar.
However, even if Hendry finally comes to terms with the deal, there’s always the chance that the Red Sox will pull the plug. Nomar’s on fire and is just now 100 percent from his Achilles’ injury. The Sox are going to need to score runs to do anything in the playoffs and with Trot Nixon hurt again, can they really do anything with gaping offensive holes in right and at shortstop?
But if they were prepared to go it without Nomar to get the Unit, perhaps they’ve already made up their mind on that point.
Whatever happens, it’ll be interesting.
—
Not that anybody asked me, but I think that by Saturday afternoon the Cubs will have a new shortstop and either by Saturday or early on in the waiver phase of the trading season, the Cubs will also have either Matt Stairs or Jeromy Burnitz on the bench.
It’s safe to say Stairs and Burnitz will clear waivers. Besides, if waivers were curveballs, not only would Burnitz clear them…he’d swing and miss at them.
I also think that the Cubs will not add a bullpen arm. I’m not saying they shouldn’t…I’m just saying they won’t. All it cost them last year was the pennant.
—
This Greg Maddux guy…he’s good.
Dusty would like for Sammy to get hot. Me too.
Lovie’s boys have gotten to work.
The Cubs say you have nothing to fear as Wrigley falls apart.
The city might not let the Cubs play at Wrigley on Friday. Have the game at my house. I’ve got a big yard.
Mark Hatley wasn’t really the GM of the Bears or Packers, but he did the job at both places.
Isiah flew to O’Hare but still left without Jamal Crawford. Hee hee.
Kenny Williams is always ready to make the big deal. Ooh, maybe he can get Robbie Alomar again?
Mariotti puts down the doughnut and says the Cubs are too passionate the Sox aren’t enough. Oh, shut up.
Mike Kiley’s a dope. He says that the “rumored trade” of Felix Pie and Angel Guzman for Armando Benitez won’t happen. Gee, ya think? Intrepid readers know that in yesterday’s Dose we had the link to Mike Berardino’s column where he basically admitted he was just making stuff up. Nice work, Kiley.
Craig Krenzel’s smart. Let’s hope he’s smart enough to know that his four-year contract’s not guaranteed.
Pissburgh says they’re going to trade the Bensons. Anna to the Cubs for Mark Prior’s wife and Kris to the Twins. That’s a good deal for the Franchise.
The Post says the Unit will be a Yank by Saturday. Well, it’s in the Post…
Dimwitted Dan Bickley says if the Snakes don’t trade the Unit, it’ll get ugly. Take a look at Randy sometime, it’s already ugly.
Baseball legend Fred McGriff is hoping that Jason Giambi’s parasites keep him out all year so Fred can get a job. If Bruce Kimm worked for the Yanks, Fred would be a lock.
Steve Finley has ruled out accepting a trade to anybody but the Dodgers, Padres or Giants. Apparently he only wants to play in parks that he has no chance of hitting the ball out of.
The Marlins really want Larry Walker on their DL.
Today, Mike Berardino (where did he get that shirt, by the way?) says Armando’s elbow is falling off.
Brian Sabean is kicking Ugy Urbina’s tires.
The Rangers just clinched the AL West. They WILL NOT be trading for Shawn Estes.
After just missing out on Kobe (sure, like Kobe was ever going to play for them), the Clips are after the next best thing! Kerry Kittles! I can’t even type that with a straight face.
Britain is blaming Big Brother on the decline in safe sex. With those jacked up teeth, I’m surprised any British people ever get laid.
Drudge claims the Democrats are blaming NASA for “leaking” the hilarious condom Kerry photos. Whatever.
In a related story, America’s finest news source says that John Glenn has been installed at the Smithsonian.
I’ll play for the Clippers. It will be a step up from the Raptors.
I’ll kick Sarah Wood’s ass!
Clement, Gonzalez and Sergio Mitre to Boston for Nomah, it’s done.
Yuck. Keep Gonzalez, please!
The Cubs will also be getting pitcher Sam "Mayday" Malone and the Red Sox will get Henry Rowengartner.
Cubs schedule press conference, 3PM. The topic will NOT be Denny Hocking.
Does the presser have anything to do with my case of leprosy?
Screw all of you. But I’ll be around when you clinch the Wild Card in September and my ankle is ready to pop with the champagne!
Maddux: Media shy phenom or on the verge of getting his 300th win freak on? Discuss.
I can’t get a read on this guy. Is he the joker of the clubhouse everyone says he is, or the milquetoast, bland bore he projects? Once he wins his 300th, will he smile slightly and then go back to serious thoughts, or will he celebrate, Vegas style with a couple of hookers and a can of whipped cream?
The 3 p.m. press conference is to announce that they’ll be using an old pair of my fishnets to protect fans from falling debris.
God knows the only that got through those things was Ray Fontenot.
My agent just called and said I got traded to the Red Sox…for Spike Owen and Marty Barrett.
Time for me to come up clutch against the Twins today, just like I did last September!
Oh, wait…
http://www.bat-girl.com/archives/000348.html#more
This, is priceless.
So Andy, can we get Legocasts to go with the Gamecasts? Seriously the link in comment 13 is highly recommended.
Top second, Sox v. Twins. Justin Morneau (who can rake) hits an opposite field shot. Carlos Lee runs back, the ball hits the top of the wall and bounces back onto the field. Through the eyes in the top of his head, Lee knows that ball didn’t go over the wall so he argues. He’s actually right and after a long discussion they make Morneau come out of the dugout and go to second.
Next pitch. Base hit. Run scores. Hee hee.
Oh, and Koskie just got hit…again. Cue another Lego brawl.
My cell phone just blew up. I’m on my way to Milwaukee to join my new team. Seems they’ll have a roster spot open when they trade a starter and their SS to some American League team for a shortstop with a hook nose and Freddy Adu for a wife.
Damn, this girl hates the Sux even more than we do. Priceless indeed.
Bitch Sux Rant
I figured out why Dusty always forgets Wellemeyer’s in the bullpen. Todd put himself on milk cartons to remind Dusty, but the Dustbag is lactose intolerant. Better try to get on the Silk carton, Todd.
There’s an obvious flaw in my reenactment. Damaso Marte is a lefty.
So am I. Which is all pointed out in the comments of that blog. But who cares, it’s funny.
This is an image I’d like to get out of my head. BOURBONNAIS, Ill. — On a beautiful, shiny summer afternoon, Lovie Smith declared he had goose bumps just about all over
Seriously… have the Cubs scheduled a press conference today at 3PM, or is that more of the sharp desipio wit?
I am currently sporting the best headline ever in the MLB section. "Rangers take whiff of Angel’s Colon." If you ignore the Spanish pronounciation…
Andy, Just wondering whats the average hits per day for this site? After a win vs after a loss?
Anybody see me try and hold Morneau in the stands when he caught a pop up? I thought the homos went to Wrigley?
I haven’t called a press conference, and if I haven’t, there isn’t one.
Ken Rosenthal thinks we’re getting Nomar, though:
http://msn.foxsports.com/story/2611108
The hits stay constant after wins or losses. We’re up to about 1.2 million a month. Roughly 45K or so every weekday, about 25 K on the weekends.
I hate these umps.
My two HR today are now one double and one fly out.
Remember when I was good? It was so brief, I’m not even sure it happened.
Just thinking about Panozzo’s fishnets makes me shudder.
I hit a homer?
Not to make excuses, but….
Can anyone confirm that Ryan Dempster has departed the State of Hawkeyes? I’ve got a source working on it, but he’s unlikely to check back with me until after 7:00 PM.
And when are rosters posted for tonight’s game? I.e. will we see if A Gonz is in the lineup?
I ain’t heard nuthin. Just chill.
2B-Walker
SS-Nomar
1B-Lee
RF-Sosa
LF-Alou
3B-Ramirez
C-Barrett
CF-Patterson
pitcher
I know I’m dreaming and why on earth would Dusty want to work with something like this. God forbid Patterson hitting in the eighth spot and Grud not even being in the lineup. Who am I kidding?
2B-Grud
CF-Patterson
RF-Sosa
LF-Alou
1B-Lee
3B-Ramirez
C-Barrett
SS-Cabrera
pitcher
Now do we solve our problems at all with this lineup. I don’t think so. We’re just dumb enough to think that way though. This is the kind of lineup Dusty licks his chops with while waiting on his favorite tub of Church’s Chicken.
Get ready folks, because that’s what we’ll see after that 4 o’clock trading deadline on Saturday. Our only solace possibly, we’ll still have Clement and we’ll still not score runs for him.
2b-Grud the dud
SS-O-shit-Cabrara
RF-Corky
LF-Mo-pees
1B-2nd all-time Marlin HR hitter
3B-E*Ramis
CF-Corky
C-Gay-boring (Barrett hurt)
Pitcher
I’m 7 for my last 21 (.333) with a .346 on base average and only one strikeout. It’s not Hall of Fame level, but other than my misadventure on first base on Sunday, I’m not exactly hurting us.
I’m five for my last seven with a homer and three RBI.
as if anyone cares…i here carlos beltran is coming to town…south side of town…
We’re reporting that the hot rumor on Wall Street is that the Sox and Cubs are going to do the Clement-Nomar trade. We also thought the Cubs-Dbacks-Sox trade a couple weeks ago was a done deal, only we thought it was the White Sox not the Cubs.
However, the day we reported it is the day that the Unit allegedly turned the deal (with the Cubs) down. So for what it’s worth.
But then again, what the hell does Wall Street know about anything?
I see this lineup on Sunday for the Cubs:
ss Cabrera
2b Grudzielanek
rf Sosa
lf Alou
1b Lee
3b Aramis
cf Patterson
c Barrett
p Maddux
You know, that’s not that bad.
Beltran for prospects is a steal, dad! And we know stealin’!
Either we read Desipio, or " You heard it here first #3" has the trade exactly right. At three o’clock Kappy reported that the Cubs and Sox are talking about a swap of Nomar for Clement, A Gonz, and Mitre.
My TV is broken. On it, Terry Mulholland is pitching in the ninth inning of a tie game for the Twins.
I’m no leadoff hitter. Then again, neither is Grudzielanek.
I look better on Remlinger than Mullholland. Mlb gameday is the source.
Without money being an issue(because you know the Tribune Co. has enough) these are the moves to be make:
Nomar for Clement is a no brainer(as long as Boston is game yet)
The reason being is Clement won’t be in Chicago next year and Nomar won’t be in Boston next year. Both sides win.
Or you go completely south and pull the worthless move-Cabrera for prospects is a stupid move. Carbrera sucks as bad as A-Gon. Think about next year too. Do you want to sign Cabrera to a long term deal or Nomar? I don’t think we need to answer that.
After shipping Clement off, Rusch is our 5th starter. He’s proven he can do the job, so don’t sweat that. As for next year, you worry about it next year.
So that leads us with who replaces Rusch in the bullpen? Well Dusty won’t like it(replacing a lefty with a righty), but you replace him with Dempster seeming that he is healthy. Reports say that he is fine. It could be a plus if you could add another quality arm in the pen too.
Now we go to the bench. It doesn’t look like Hollandsworth will be back soon so you have to get some pop off the bench. You claim Burnitz or Stairs(preferably Burnitz, we already had our go around with Stairs) off waivers. It would be nice to do away with Tom Goodwin too. But we all know that is Dusty’s anal friend.
So anyway, if we make these types of moves, we have a shot at a World Series title this year.
If we don’t, well let’s just say we have to wait yet another year to win that coveted trophy.
Yes, I haven’t sucked Gonzo-like the last couple games. But wouldn’t Walker playing full-time have produced better results than I have overall since my return? Probably, and that’s why people get on my case, for brainwashing Dusty’s fragile mind.
I hit .250 with 17 homers and 61 RBI for the 2001 Cubs and had an on base average of better than .350. I didn’t exactly suck.
Gee. I wonder how Kappy led with that at 3:00? I wonder who turned him on to such a story?
I wonder if he followed up on the idea to see if Dempster was still in De Moines?
Gonzo and Mitre to Expos for Cabrara, then send Cabrara & Clement to Bo Sox for Nomar. Bo sox don’t get Gonzo and Expos still suck.
It’s time for somebody to put their foot down around here!
And that foot is me!
What is so great about that lineup?
You say,"it’s not that bad." Is it good enough to win a World Series?
Absolutely not. I know SS is one guy. But you bring a guy like Nomar over and stick him in a lineup, the other guys will feed off of that move. It will be very positive. You bring Cabrera over, and it’s like you traded for A-Gon’s twin brother.
#52 — The trade #3 suggested and WGN reported sounds to me like that very thing. I think if that trade went down (excuse me while I stop to laugh at the pop-up that Jose Valentin just dropped in the top of the 10th), then the Sox would send Serge and A-Gonz to the ‘Spos for Orlando.
Valentin’s errors never hurt us!
Well, that one would have ended the inning and now the Twins have the lead. But still…
Gulp.
Take that, Bitch Sux.
Andy:
Check your mail.
If the Cubs want a piece of Cabrera breifly and pull that off, then great. The Expos need to get real. They’ve always sucked and will still suck when they move to the states.
I’ll hang out with the French again up in Canada. I know how to handle those snobby chainsmoking pricks.
Anybody know my due date?I know they need me back in that struggling bullpen. Oh I forgot, that "vaunted bullpen" as Chippie says.
Do I have a deal with the devil? I look like the Joe Bo of last year? 2005 stats for me—2-4 8.02 E.R.A.
Joe, you are due in about 2 months. Ultrasound shows that the baby looks like Jim Edmonds.
Anyone know where to find a cheap burial plot and a priest for us?
How do I get involved with this trade thing? I went from vaunted 5th starter to bitch boy. Come on, I mean, I love Iowa.
That is what happens when you drink too much old style with lassie in town.
Ozzie Ball!
Disgusting.
I’m hoping for a boy and we’ll name it BUBBA BOROWSKI!
That was not very fung.
How about the Cubs trade for me. Borowski–Borkowski duo. With BAKO catching.
I’d like to see:
2b_Walker
1B_Lee
3B_Ramierez
RF_Sosa
SS_Nomar
LF_Alou
C_Barrett
CF_PAtterson
P
What I’m afraid I’ll actuall see:
2B_Grudz
CF_Patterson
RF_Sosa
LF_Alou
3B_Ramierez
1B_Lee
C_Barrett
SS_Gonzales
P
Word is that the Cubs are getting back Al Nipper and Calvin Schraldi for Paul Bako. This boosts the bullpen and the Cubs are going to claim Jim Sundberg off waivers from the Cactus League to take up the catcher backup role.
And…Jay Baller has been claimed off waivers from Joe Borowski’s old Mexican League team
That’s about the truth though. And the truth really does hurt.
Trade back for me! Remember that night in Houston?
Stop the presses. Kaplan apparently got his 3 p.m. rumor from…
…drumroll please…
US!
Now that’s some investigative journalism. Couldn’t he at least have given us credit.
"Big rumor news, John! Intrepid reader ‘You heard it here first’ says that the Cubs are going to trade Sergio Meat Tray, Alex Gonzalez and Matt Clement to Boston for Nomar Garciaparra. This source posted it on Desipio.com at noon today!"
You’ll also be happy to know that the same rumor then made it all the way to XTRA in San Diego. Apparently, Desipio knows no bounds.
I’m just pissed because I was starting to get my hopes up.
You may now go back to your regularly scheduled flogging.
Bob Stanley is reportedly going to try and make a comeback. He said he will only come back if Bill Buckner plays 1st base too.
Andy:
I can vouch that Kappy got the info blind, at least as to Desipio.
As long as we get rid of the following I’ll be happy:
-Gabor Bako
-A-Gon
-Tom "Butthole" Goodwin
-Kent "Padded Stats" Mercker
Oh, then I woke up.
But I thought I’d just run with the info. I mean, why bother to make a phone call?
By the way, no mention of it on any sports update since.
Cub fans, I think we all need to wake up and face the facts. We just don’t have the balls enough to make a move that could give us a chance to win the world ******* thing. The Cubs wouldn’t be the Cubs if they ever did the smart thing, now would they?
Eric Karros has been designated for assignment by the A’s. He wants to come back to the Cubs. Do we pick him up?
He’s a nice guy and all, but what do we need him for, exactly?
We need Karros to prevent the need to trade for Randall Simon. We have a lot of games left with the Brewers and Abe Froman needs to be kept far away.
Watch me give more PT to Karros than Lee. I mean, look at what he did for us last year! You don’t just dump a guy cuz something better comes along.
I think Karros could play a little shortstop. He’s spry.
I think Dusty wouldn’t mind having me and Karros do a platoon situation with Randall Simon giving us a left-handed lift. Having Derrek Lee fill in from the bench would give us the best benched right side of the infield in the league.
CF Macias
2B Grud
RF Sammy
LF Moises
1B Lee
3B Aramis
C Barrett
SS K-Gonz
P Wood
Forget Clement, how ’bout that Cy Capuano!!
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