All winter long, experts looked at the Cubs roster and said, “If this team stays healthy, it just might win the pennant.”
Well, guess what? It hasn’t stayed healthy. It hasn’t even been close. In fact, the injuries have been of such quality and quantity that the Cubs called up former trainer Dave Tumbas and fired him again. Mark Prior has yet to throw a pitch in a big league game. Kerry Wood’s tricep reached up and grabbed him last week. Mike Remlinger had shoulder surgery in the offseason and isn’t back yet (though he did serve up a three run jack in AAA yesterday–nice?), Mark Grudzielanek’s Achilles is worse than Brad Pitt’s, Sammy Sosa sneezed his back into a spasm, Todd Walker hurt his shoulder and then got sick, Kent Mercker got a weak back about a week back and Paul Bako fell down and spiked himself. Actually Bako hasn’t done that…yet.
The only guy who has stayed healthy is the decaying corpse of Moises Alou, and that’s mainly because he’s always soaked in his own urine.
With all of these calamaties, no wonder the vaunted Houston Astros have jumped out to a huge early lead. One that that the Cubs will have no chance to recover from.
What? They haven’t? The Cubs are in first place? You don’t say.
Sometime in the next three weeks, the Cubs will potentially be at full strength for the first time all season long. If the Astros haven’t found a way to put a few games between themselves and the Cubs, it’s over. It’ll take a while to get everybody acclimated and playing well, but when that happens, the Cubs will begin to lay waste to the senior circuit. If they don’t have a deficit to make up, like last year’s Marlins did, September might just become one long, happy victory tour. Maybe Tito and Jermaine can stop by?
We all know that the Cubs never do anything the easy way. So the reality of it is that September will be just like last year’s. We’ll sweat out every moment of it. Things will get so frantic that just like the last Friday of the year, last year, we’ll need a rain out just to calm our frazzled nerves.
But given all that the Cubs have had thrown at them in the first six weeks, we know one thing to be true. The Cubs’ teams that you and I grew up with would be done by now. They’d have gone belly-up and fallen so far behind that we’d need a telescope to see first place right now. But these Cubs have a unique way of handling things. They suck it up and play through it.
Excuse us if it takes us a while to adjust to the new way of doing things. We’re used to the fetal position.
—
You never listen to me when I tell you that Dusty Baker’s good at this managing a baseball team, thing. But he is. I’d sit here and try and come up with a list of guys that I’d rather have managing this baseball team, but it takes a surprisingly long time to make a list with no names on it.
The thing that makes him good is that he gives his players a chance to figure things out on their own. If they do, great. If they don’t, and they reach the end of their rope, he handles it. Just like the old saying that “you can’t win the pennant in May but you can lose it,” you can’t make a player in May, but you can lose one.
Exhibit A is Corey Patterson. Exhibit B is Joe Borowski.
Young Corey is easily the most talented of the Cubs’ position players. He’s also the most infuriating. He’ll drive you do drink if you let him. There are times when he is completely clueless at the plate. How can somebody who is from all accounts an intelligent, hard-working, talented player get less out of his ability than Corey? Because he’s been around forever, we tend to forget that he’s 24 years old.
His most useful position in the Cubs’ batting order would be leadoff, but though he has the skills for it, he doesn’t have the talent to use those skills the right way. His second most useful position would be batting second. Someday, it’ll be his home, and Dusty tried to make it so to start the season. It hasn’t worked. But rather than jerk his batting order around from pillar to post like most managers would, he let Corey have a real shot at making it work. A lesser manager would have benched Corey, then dropped him in the order and then compared him to Oddibe McDowell. Corey kind of bottomed out in the two spot, and is now batting seventh. He knows why. So he’s hanging out down there in Bako-land, trying to figure it out with a little less pressure on him. He’s trying to bunt more.
It’s no fun to be patient. If it was, it’d be a hell of lot easier to do. But Corey’s worth it. The day the Cubs give up on him altogether and ship him off, they’ll regret it forever. You heard that here first.
As for Regular Joe, he looked, for all intents and purposes, to be done as dinner just a week ago. He might still be, for all we know. But he’s another example of why Dusty Baker’s good at this managing a baseball team, thing. Dusty could have demoted Joe like we all would have. Instead he went about trying to find a way to get him work and build up some confidence. Dusty knows that if you stick with a player and he continues to struggle you might lose him, but if you give up on one, you are guaranteed to lose him. As recently as Thursday, Joe was a basket case. He had to be bailed out of a ninth inning that he started with a six run lead. But on Friday he got a low pressure ninth inning to finish and he did it without incident, and he got a real-live save yesterday.
Despite a strangely inaccurate Fox Sports Net radar gun yesterday (Francis Beltran threw a 96 MPH fastball that registered 88 on the screen), Joe certainly looked like he was throwing hard this weekend for the first time all year.
Will Joe really figure it all out again? Maybe. Maybe not. But at least Dusty’s managed to keep that option open. It’s more than any one of us would have been able to do.
—
Just how badly did the Cubs want to win that game yesterday? Dusty, Mr. Players’ Manager, did two things you don’t think he’d ever do. He took his starting pitcher one out away from qualifying for a win, and he shuffled the back end of the bullpen around so that LaTroy Hawkins got the heart of the batting order to face in the seventh, and then The Farns and Regular Joe finished up with the bottom and the top.
It all worked out, just as planned, which hardly ever happens. The Cubs left for the road trip five games over .500 and two games behind Houston. They lost the games that Kerry Wood and Matt Clement started and yet, come back seven games over .500 and tied with Houston.
Who knew?
—
The Good Trade? banner is off the home page. Hee Seop Choi is now batting .224 and was 4-for-37 (.108) with no homers and two RBI once the banner went up. Derrek Lee hit .321 with two homers and seven RBI.
The purpose wasn’t to curse one of our favorite former Cubs, but it seemed to do just that. The reality is that Hee Seop’s getting pitched under the hands again, and just like last year, he’s not hitting it. If he never learns how, he’ll end up the 21st century Orestes Destrade.
Instead, in honor of the Cubs “Lemons”, the bench corps that has saved their bacon so far this year, we give you Lemon Aid, the Cubs Scrub of the Moment. Our inaugural Lemon Aid honoree is Jose Macias, who had three three-hit games in four starts over the weekend. I have no idea how that happened. Why argue with it?
—
I think it’s obvious that the breakout star of the 2004 NBA Postseason is Rex Chapman. No, seriously. Chapman got the thankless seat in between the increasingly senile Dick Stockton and the always terrible John Thompson on TNT’s number three announcing team, and he’s done a great job. They were helped on Friday night by one of the most amazing playoff games of all-time, the triple overtime Nets win over the Pistons, but if you took Chapman off that announcing crew, I’d have stuck my head through the TV before the end of regulation.
As amazing as the Tim Duncan-Derek Fisher sequence was on Thursday, how can you top what Richard Jefferson and Chauncy Billups did on Friday? Jefferson made the most amazing block in the history of playoff basketball to save the game for the Nets, only to have Chauncey toss in a half-courter at the buzzer to tie the game anyway. And, unlike Fisher’s impossible shot, Billups actually had enough time to do what he did.
Besides, you have to love any game that includes a clutch performance by Little Orphan Annie himself, Brian Scalabrine. Could he have worse hair? Is that possible? He looks like a heterosexual version of Carrot-top.
Yesterday, I was a little disappointed in Doc Rivers’ reaction to the Kevin Garnett-Anthony Peeler “fight.” Even though ABC clearly showed what started the fight, Rivers didn’t seem to pick up on it. Here’s what we saw as hit happened.
– Garnett on the ground, injured and trying to get up to his feet
– Peeler running right for him as he was staggering to get up
– Garnett giving a quick elbow to Peeler’s chest
– Peeler acting like Antonio Tarver with his elbow, trying to land two quick lefts to Garnett’s face
At the time, Rivers’ reaction that both Garnett and Peeler were in the wrong seemed valid. But then ABC went back to a replay of the Kings’ previous possession and showed us why Garnett was on the floor in the first place. Peeler punched him in the nuts. He did one of those sneaky run-past-the-guy-and-hit-him-with-a-backhand-jab-to-the-groin shots. Nobody saw it, but it’s what put KG on the floor.
That’s not right. If I was the commish, Kevin could have literally punched Peeler in the face and been OK to stay in the game.
—
The best moment of the weekend was at halftime of the Lakers-Spurs on Saturday night when Charles Barkley looked down at his monitor and saw Tarver drop Roy Jones, Jr. in the second round, and while Ernie, Kenny and Baron were trying to analyze the first half, Charles just yelled out, “Oh, no!” You wonder how many thousands of dollars (or tens of thousands) Charles lost on that punch?
—
Today, there’s great debate over last night’s episode of The Sopranos and if it was brilliant, or bad. Normally, I hate dream sequences in anything. Last night’s was long (nearly a half hour) and strange, and it made me uncomfortable, especially the parts where Tony’s teeth would fall out. But that was some pretty good stuff, and if you didn’t get out of it that Tony now knows that he and Carmella have to get back together and he has to kill Tony B., well, I can’t help you.
However, how can you you have a Sopranos dream sequence and not have a talking fish?
You had to like Annette Benning quoting The Godfather, and it was nice to see Big Pussy again.
—
Don’t forget to click on a Google Ad banner, or two. Thanks.
—
Jose Macias, superstar? Let’s not push it.
Fat Roger and Woody are on a collision course for another Wrigley start. If this one ends like last year’s did, go for it.
Sammy sneezed and threw out his back. I know a guy who sneezed in the car and threw his back out so bad that he had to pull over because he couldn’t drive anymore.
Rosey talks with AJ Eyechart.
Groucho compares the 2004 Lakers to may all-time favorite Bulls’ team, the 1993 champs.
How drunk was Mike Kiley when he wrote the first two paragraphs of this?
Mariotti puts down the doughnut to say that the Lakers are bigger than MJ’s Bulls’ because MJ never raped anybody. Huh?
Sports Guy has left the Jimmy Kimmel Show. This comes as no surprise, considering a) the show stinks, b) it had ten other writers, c) nobody watches it. It’s great news for Page 2, because Bill is the only talented person who writes for that crap-fest. Is there anything worse than Page 2? Anything?
What got into Ben Sheets? Maybe a Braves’ lineup that included:
DeWayne Wise
Adam LaRoche
Mark DeRosa
Wilson Betemit
and Nick Green (Nick Green? What?)
However, Ben did strike out JD Drew, Andruw Jones and Eric (I mean, Johnny) Estrada eight times.
I’m sure this is true.
America’s finest news source asks some men on the street about the Iraqi prisoner abuse.
Anyone else get the feeling when listening to chip and steve call the games that chip is rooting for the other team?
Clicking the google banners is fun. Where else can we see that cubs vs. sox tickets are going for $800+ each! With 500 level obstructed views selling for $70!
Chip,
We need to talk. I’ve heard some things about you and Khalil Green. I’m not pleased.
Your punishment is that we’re not using KY tonight.
Love,
The Beege
That Khalil Greene kid has some sexy blond hair and man he sure has the moves too.
They Cubs’ll regret getting rid of Patterson? Yeah, the same way I regretted getting rid of the hole in my swing.
Oh wait….
If Patterson was traded for me, would you still regret it? Really? What, are ya dumb, ese?
Do any of you really think the Royals would trade Carlos Beltran for Corey Patterson?
They’d be better off letting him walk and taking the two draft picks.
Give it up, already.
That hole you’re talking about is really the bottomless pit in your stomach that allowed to eat non-stop, show up fat in ’90, and be out of baseball within four years.
Stacy King followed your plan to a tee, I must add, a year after you.
Last Thursday morning, I was proclaiming Jose Macias the early front-runner for the 2004 Jeff Blauser Award (most hated Cub). However, he played a pretty central role in a four-game stretch that may have kept them from going into a free-fall.
Say what you want about Sergio Mitre, but I like the guy. First watch him every time he comes off the field. He’s always cussing, and I think he’s mumbling about how some piece of crap got a hit off him. I like that he cares and that he’s pissed. Second, he’s always hanging around Maddux. The kid wants to learn. He may not be anything more than a 5th starter or middle reliever for the Cubs, but he’s got a clue.
How about Farns slamming a folding chair against the dugout wall after another wild performance Saturday night? I think Chip or Stone (or both) was aghast because a young batboy was in the vicinity. It’s too bad he didn’t swing and hit himself in the leg.
Does anyone know where I can get that Farnsworth’s kids phone number. I want to talk contracts with him.
If Kyle Farnsworth keeps this up, he’ll break the major league record for breaking the most dugout implements in one season.
Which isn’t good for the Cubs. Not only will they have to pay for the broken water coolers or chairs Kyle has broken, but they might lose games because of his poor performances as well. It’s really a bad circle to get yourself into.
"Dusty, Mr. Players’ Manager, did two things you don’t think he’d ever do. He took his starting pitcher one out away from qualifying for a win.
Ahem… I was cruising in Game 162 last year with a lead, and Dusty inexplicably pulled me after FOUR innings, forcing me to wait until this April to record my first big league victory.
"In the next three weeks, the Cubs will potentially be at full strength for the first time all season long. If the Astros haven’t found a way to put a few games between themselves and the Cubs, it’s over."
You fly boys crack me up suggesting anything can be over before they even play each other once. Once you see them, you may find they have pitchers who are nearly as good as Jeff Weaver and Wilson Alvarez.
The Redbirds are coming tra-la, tra-la!
And listen to Chip call me a "potential gold glover" every time I touch a ball.
Corey Patterson, Sergio Mitre and Bobby Brownlie for a guy walking in 4 months…..
Hell. Even with two draft picks, I can’t get three players.
Yeah. I do that deal.
<>
Then, I guess, the Cubs wouldn’t "regret it forever" if they let him go. I mean, were Patterson that good, then the Royals would make that trade in a heartbeat.
I’ll walk 2 or 3 times in 4 months.
If our rotation includes myself and Kerry Wood and Sergio Mitre is the ace of the staff at Iowa, I’d say the Astros might find there might be a tougher rotation outside Texas.
Hey, Reasonable Human Being? I think Reasonable Royal GM kinda cut your soapbox out from under ya.
It would take an Unreasonable Moran to think that the Royals would take CPat for Beltran, straight up. But CPat, a Major League Ready pitcher and a Grade A pitching prospect? (insert names here)…they’re stupid to let that go.
And the three way thing with Boston and Seattle is even stupider.
Hey, Allard Baird? Shop Chicago First!
Hey Another Reasonable Human Being, the Astros got two runs off of me yesterday. Actually, they only got one, but after an ump missed a call at second, they got another. So they’re really lighting it up, too.
I hate to rain on everybody’s parade, but as much as we’d all like to see it, the Cubs are not going to trade for Carlos Beltran.
What I was saying in today’s Dose is that if the Cubs trade Corey someday, it’ll be for less than what he’s worth, not more. And, giving up on Corey seems to be a bi-annual thing for Cubs fans, anyway. What fun would everybody have if he left?
And the reason the KC-Boston-Seattle trade rumor seems ludicrous is just because a Seattle sportswriter made it up. Even at that, the only team making out in that deal was Boston, anyway.
As the great Norman Dale once said, "I’d hope you’d accept us for what we are, not for what we are not."
Thanks for clearing that up, Matt. I now realize that it’s over for the Astros if they don’t have a 2-game lead by the end of May.
If the Astros don’t put a couple games between themselves and the Cubs by the end of June, let’s just say they will be in a world of hurt.
The Cubs and Assholes play 12 times between now and the All-Star Break. The Cubs also have St. Louis 13 times, The White Sox six times, Anaheim three times and Oakland three times.
And if Clemens goes through another 7-start, 7-win stretch this season, I’ll eat my hat.
*the Cubs are not going to trade for Carlos Beltran*
Well, duh. That’s because this is a gutless, backward looking franchise. Why trade for a guy on a hall of fame path when all you’d give up is extra pieces?
Where is this team right now if they’d beat St. Louis’ offer for Rolen of Placido Polanco, Mike Timlin, and Bud Smith and instead offered Bobby Hill and Juan Cruz?
If Hendry wants to prove these are not your fathers, grandfathers and great-grandfathers Cubs, then go get Beltran.
But, of course, they won’t do it. And that’ll cost them.
Chuck,
You write:
"Where is this team right now if they’d beat St. Louis’ offer for Rolen of Placido Polanco, Mike Timlin, and Bud Smith and instead offered Bobby Hill and Juan Cruz?"
Hey Chuck, they would have the 30-year old, perpetually breaking-down Rolen, and not my 25-year old, monstermashing ass.
Go f**k yourself.
Very classy, Aramis.
I said in my chat today of possible pickups:
"The Cubs are going to get four pitchers back in the next month. That will be a huge help. But they do need better offense from the top of the order. I think come July, they could well end up with Vizquel which would give them defense and a bat at the top of the order."
Hey, Aramis. I’ve played 150+ games the last three years. You’ve only done that twice in 6 years. My OPS has never been lower than .876 the last 4 years while yours was over .800 once. I’ve got 4 straight gold gloves. You’ve got errors in four straight chances.
Oh, and if you had me, the REDBIRDS would be starting someone like Vance Law.
And my schlong is long enough to do what you suggest. I hear, from the chicks who did me at Bernies, your Meat Tray is ready for Des Moines.
Scott,
Those girls had a healthy case of chlamidya.
Regards,
Bernie
of Bernie’s and Sports Corner.
I seperated Rolen’s shoulder in the NLDC in ’02 by running real fast right by him.
Or something.
If the Cubs traded Bobby Hill and Juan Cruz for Scott Rolen, they would have not been able to trade Bobby for Kenny Lofton AND Aramis. More importantly, I wouldn’t be in Iowa terrorizing the population with wild 85 MPH fastballs.
And Richard Lewis would be in the Braves lineup by July 15.
I have more RBI than Derrek Lee!
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/players/profile?statsId=4306
Then, so does just about everybody, right Hee Seop?
Richard Lewis could never beat me out for second base!
The Braves can’t use me like a blind man can’t use a television.
No, wait. I meant sightless. I didn’t mean… I mean I respect the blind as much as anybody. I didn’t mean that in a, in a derogatory sense. I got my own problems, really…and I’m a recovering alcoholic, I have, I have intimacy problems, so…
The Cubs didn’t trade for Rolen in 2002 because Bruce Kimm was leading the troops to fifth place, and they knew if they brought Rolen into that mess he’d run for the hills when the season ended. Had Dusty been around in 2002, the Cubs would have traded for Scott.
The reason it’s different than Beltran is that Rolen was telling anybody who would listen that he wanted to play on grass, in the Midwest for a team that could win.
The Cubs at the time were only two-of-three. Besides, the dumbass Reds were supposed to trade for him, but at the last minute their genius owner bailed out, leaving the Cardinals the last ones standing.
And yes, the Cubs rebounded pretty well last year by getting E-ramis and Kenny for Bobby Hill and a pile of nothing. Especially when you consider that E-ramis is off to this start:
.295/9/31/.916
While Rolen is
.331/8/36/.960
Rolen’s obviously better and freakishly huge, but E-Ramis makes half the cash and is five years younger.
Neither though, are Joe Crede:
.221/8/19/.698.
As for Beltran, you’d be a fool to not want him, and I’m sure the Cubs could put together a package that would interest the Royals. The Cubs have a lot more to trade than the Yankees do. They also have a history of actually being able to sign Scott Boras clients (Brownlie/Bobby Hill/Maddux, etc.) But who plays centerfield next year for the Cubs if Patterson’s in KC and Beltran is in Yankee Stadium? Nic Jackson? Macias? Goodwin?
They pay Hendry the big bucks to figure that out. You’re probably only looking for a two year stopgap in 2005 and 2006, if you didn’t sign Beltran long-term, because the Cubs have Felix Pie (mmmm, Pie), Ryan Harvey, Jason DuBois, Kelton and Jackson in the minors.
What would really be nice, though, would be to trade for Beltran and not give up Patterson at all, meaning if you got Carlos resigned you could play him in left and pay him with the pile of cash Moises and Clement take with them in 2005.
The "Good Trade?" banner had to come down after yesterday’s Fish-Cards game because Grandpa Jack put me in to pinch-hit instead of Big Choi.
If the Cards didn’t have Rolen, they’d have $10 million more a year to spend on pitching.
I think I’d rather they have Rolen.
By the way, was it a big shock that the guy who hit the three run homer off Remlinger in Iowa yesterday was Graham Koonce?
He’s lefthanded by the way.
Nice set of lefties we’ll have in the ‘pen with Mercker and Remlinger.
BA against
2004 Mercker
LHB: .381
RHB: .080
2003 Remlinger
LHB: .263
RHP: .180
Do these guys know they’re supposed to get lefties out?
Never mind, you get this from The Farns and LaTroy.
2004 Farns
LHB: .179
RHB: .313
2004 LaTroy
LHB: .160
RHB: .158
See, Farnsy should be the lefty specialist. LaTroy is just a stud. He gets to pitch to anybody he wants.
Joe’s are ugly, both ways.
I can see Patterson and either Brownlie or Mitre, but not both. It might be tough to get Beltran to agree to a contract before trading for him, but I think they gotta try.
Oh, and for those beating off about the Astros (not just you, Chip), it’s not like they’ve mowed through the NL’s best, either.
*But who plays centerfield next year for the Cubs if Patterson’s in KC and Beltran is in Yankee Stadium?*
Beltran. Such a trade is contingent on a long term signing. A reverse-NBA deal. Trade and sign.
*What would really be nice, though, would be to trade for Beltran and not give up Patterson at all*
Now that’s true. You could move Patterson to left and bat him 7th or 8th. Now, I dunno arms, but perhaps one could move to right in 2006 when Sneezer is gone. Much easier / cheaper to get a left fielder than right.
"Beating off about the Astros"?
Not really the same thing as saying it’s premature to be calling it "over" in May, after 37 games, before the teams have even faced each other. Get a grip, man.
I don’t know who is more clueless-Dusty Baker for using Farnsworthless again on Saturday night to try and blow it or- Farnsworthless for not throwing his only pitch more, which is a fastball.
I think our only hope for Cubs fans is that Farnsworthless gets hurt when throwing a chair or whatever object he is throwing in his crybaby tirades.
Or the other scenario is just to trade his ass along with Patterson for Carlos Beltran. That would be the common sense approach if Hendry can figure that one out.
Chuck,
I’ll be heet-ing forty homers when I’m forty-one with the Cubs.
Buddy.
for all you borowski bashers out there, you can kiss my sweaty palms.
Give me good, cheap guys. I need righty pitchers like nobody’s business, we’ve only got lefties.
I’ll do Beltran for
Jason Dubois, Angel Guzman and the weird Jap who nobody can hit but who throws baseballs at endangered birds. Oh, and I’ll need Dave Kelton, too. You guys don’t ever intend to use him, so why not?
If you want to get Carlos signed, it’s up to you and Scott Boras. Bring your checkbook.
settle down Joe Bo. i’m 5 for 5 this year in the chair toss opportunities portion of the games.
I think Joe Bo’s 21 saves in a row, is indisputable proof that the stat I created is a complete, freakin’ joke.
hey everybody, this lemon drop can play. i just wanted to let you know, since i am playing great right now, it will be short-lived. grud got hurt, gonzo, walker, i think it is my turn to go back to my bench spot. i hate to disappoint. i believe ordonez deserves some playing time too.
*trade (Farnsworth’s) ass along with Patterson for Carlos Beltran. That would be the common sense approach if Hendry can figure that one out.*
No way I’m doing that deal. Why do I want a head case (with a bad haircut) that can’t throw strikes, already has a 7 figure salary and is 1 year away from his walk year?
Give my Jae-Kuk Ryu and the dead osprey instead.
Hey Moran Dolan, what does Joe Crede have to do with a discussion of Rolan and Eramis? I thought Cub fans were too busy enjoying their autofellating abilities to notice the downtrodden White Sox or something….
Looks like the Astros fan base was awakened by Andy’s suggestion that a Cubs team with a healthy Grud, Walker and A-Gone along with a healthy Wood and Prior might be miles better than the current B squad Dusty Baker keeps putting out there.
Of course the "B" Cubs are tied with the oh-so-tough Astros for first.
Truth be told, if the Astros haven’t built a lead by the All-Star Break, they will be in trouble.
Andy simply suggested that it will become a bit more difficult for the Astros to build a lead after about 3 weeks from now, when all those guys (except Gonzalez) will be back, and the Cubs will have already had 5 chances to be buried by Houston.
Of course, maybe we should wait until July 28, when the Cubs will have played 100 games to make a judgment, right, Jim Tocco?
Boo!
Hee hee.
"If we trade Beltran,†one Royals official said, “that means we’re looking toward next year and the future."
That would be Patterson, Jae-KukBrownlieSiscoGuzman and Mitre.
My early season offense is not a mirage. I’m very patient at the plate. In fact, I’m on pace to walk 26 times this year!
Never mind the fact that Corey Patterson is on pace to walk 48, and he has no patience what so ever.
I’m a stud! I’ll play until I’m 60! Maybe next year I’ll learn to pitch?
Astros fans are always welcome here. And, I’m impressed that they found somebody to read the articles to them.
Hey Andy,
Is "Dopey Dolan" your South Side Irish cousin with the bad chromosones?
No Telander mention today? I sat down in the–ahem–library this morning with the paper in tow and I read his first line:
"What are we to think of Frank Thomas?"
Needless to say, that was all I needed to read.
What is that? You’ve got two winning ballclubs battling for divisional supremacy and Telander is standing there, tapping his pen on his chin, and staring straight at the sky, pondering what craptatsic drivel he could write?
"What are we to think of Frank Thomas?"
Is he writing for the Sun-Times or Oprah’s magazine?
The guy has totally crossed some sort of threshold. Delusional doesn’t even begin to describe Telander’s conversion to full-blown "wacko" status.
Reasonable: Remember the series at Minutemaid last year when I singlehandedly knocked you guys out of contention?
That was awesome.
Don’t trade for Carlos, he’s only the 18th best player in baseball!
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/columns/story?columnist=neyer_rob&id=1803222
I’m a complete dumbass. Still.
Why doesn’t Andy pick on me, like in the old days?
I met Beltran recently for Tea at the Drake. As I was buttering my scone he nearly knocked me off my sofa by revealing that he has asked the Royals to trade him and the Cubs are his first choice. Alas, he feels the Cubs are unlikely to ever include Macias or Mitre in any deal. He and I have been riding companions for many years and I can say with all honesty that he never eggagerates. I do agree with Mr Reasonable Guy that we should hold our applause for the Cubs until they have actually vanquished the dreaded Astros.
I agree with Andy – no way does Boras let Beltran sign with a team this year long term – he’s gonna reap the benefits of a bidding war over the winter. Thus, the trade package a team would need to provide to the Royals is gonna be a lot less than what’s being discussed on this board and no way should it include Corey. Even though Corey drives most Cubs fan nos and has yet to live up to his potential, you just don’t trade a guy who at WORST, is an average level centerfielder but makes a lot less than any real replacement. The Cubs hope that Patterson will be Beltran in 2 years and I can’t imagine them swaping him and his relatively meager salary for a rent-a-player – even this year. Any improvements for this team are likely to be at SS IMHO.
Let’s not kid ourselves, the Royals would take Patterson in a hearbeat for 2 months of Beltran.
But that’s no fair, Sloth, you actually read the comments that have been posted and noticed there isn’t a pro-Astros one in the lot. Just a few that said June 1 isn’t the end of the season, but those are clearly incorrect.
When do I get the spotlight on Desipio’s "Lemon Aid, the Cubs Scrub of the Moment"?
Don’t talk to me about FAIR you moran! Asshole fans have always been big time front runners. Alls I saying is that once the Cubs do sweep the Vitamin C girls, then we can cheer, not before. Its clowns like you that make wonder why Beltran even wants to play here!
I don’t want to see Patterson go, but if he does, I hope it’s out of the NL.
If they can’t get Beltran from KC, maybe the BoSox would part with Johnny of Nazereth…
I bet you didn’t know I have Andy Masur come over and talk to my wife for an half hour on off days while I go and drop a deuce.
I was thinking. What does Desipio mean?
someone mentioned today that the cubs shouldn’t trade patterson because he will be a mad talent in the future and we will regret it. i’ll tell you what we will regret-if we don’t take advantage of this awesome pitching staff this year and win the whole damn thing.
baker’s slogan this year shouldn’t be "he’ll come around." i don’t care who the hell it is, but we need more consistent hitting in the lineup. simple fact-we hit this year-we win. baker let’s go of "he’ll come around" and acquires "what have you done for me lately" we will win the world series.
You know what it takes for the Cubs to win the World Series? Where have you been the last 96 years???
I want you to know that I HAVE had tea at the Drake before, but in 1986. On my (first) honeymoon.
But dude, whomever is using my name, look, you have an awesome opportunity here…to come up with your OWN monicker!!
Please, feel free to do so.
Sloth:
I could swear I saw you having HOT CHOCOLATE at the Drake back in 1986. You were with a high school kid named Joel. Then some hot, HOT babe named Lana came out and all three of you got in a Porsche. Then some guy who looked like a guy on the Sopranos, but with hair, got in his caddy and chased you up Lakeshore Drive. You looked like this: