It’s not just that the Florida Marlins play their games in a football stadium located on Dan Marino Boulevard, or that their hasn’t been a truly big postseason game in that town since an NBA ref was tossing Jimmy Buffett out of a Heat game for heckling. The reality is that when 60,000 fans cram themselves into what used to be Joe Robbie Stadium (before it got named after a company that makes those big sports jackets that nobody wears anymore) a third of them will be wearing blue and cheering on the Cubs.

The Sun-Times wonders if the Cubs aren’t, after all, America’s team. What, they just noticed?

Baseball in south Florida doesn’t work. They didn’t draw squat when they won in 1997. They alienated the few fans they did have when they started selling off the World Series collateral before they got to enjoy it, and until the playoffs, the only games that drew fans were the ones started by Dontrelle Willis.

We mocked the fan apathy in Atlanta, but at least that was hard earned. A few pennants, a baker’s dozen division titles, etc. In Miami, it’s just there. Sure the crowds will be big for this series, just like they were for the Division Series. But don’t expect to see the Cubs walk into an overwhelming scene like they did in 1984 when the entire city of San Diego went nuts all at the same time.

These are the Cubs who posted the NL’s second best road record. They’re coming with a newfound offense, Kerry Wood and a whole lot of momentum. If they win tonight and then either Saturday or Sunday night, you can start sewing the 2003 National League Champions patches on the jerseys.

The loss on Tuesday night was supposed to sink the Cubs. They had an early lead and lost it. They tied it on an improbable homer by their own Alex Gonzalez only to have Regular Joe cough up the tie. Sammy announced his presence with authority in the ninth, and they still lost.

These are the Cubs we talked about. Boy Scouts don’t know how to fold the tent like the Cubs.

Instead they rocked the Marlins for 12 more runs on Wednesday. The Marlins took solace in the fact they got a Wrigley Field split and took a few chuckles home with them when their ONLY lefty reliever threw his first pitch sideways into their dugout. There the Marlins were, shrugging off the loss and having a good time.

Across the field the Cubs were trying to keep their smiles suppressed. The true tale of the series was told on Wednesday night. And it wasn’t a fish tale.

Jack McKeon’s done a great job with the Marlins in a half season on the job, but when the series is over and the Cubs have exorcised every pennant demon that’s been haunting them for 58 years, even Senile Jack will look back and wonder why he set up his rotation so that the one starting pitcher who benefits the most from the spacious outfield of Pro Player Park (Brad Penny) was set up to make two Wrigley Field starts.

He’ll also wish (though this isn’t his fault) that Sammy Sosa hadn’t found his swing on that backdoor slider from Ugy Urbina that Ugy left on the porch.

Cubs fans are always going to be skeptical. They’re always going to look for the dark side of every cloud. But try and enjoy this. You’re going to be fondly remembering for the rest of your life. So you might as well be able to spend those days without that ulcer.

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Jake is handling the Survivor recaps during the playoffs and so I’ll let him comment on last night’s eppy. But just how dumb do you have to be to intentionally throw a challenge like Drake did last night? Have they never seen the show before? They have to know by now that CBS will shake up the tribes anyway. Morons. They lost their two strongest guys in one show. Nicely played. Nitwits.

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With no Cubs game to pre-occupy me, I caught up on some missed TV, including the season’s third episode of “Ed”. That show came thisclose to getting cancelled last year, and the threat of that forced them to wrap up the tortured Ed and Carol romance. It’s the best thing that ever happened to that show. Spared the weekly angst of that, it’s been just plain funny this year. Plus, Josh Randall, the guy who plays the show’s best character, Dr. Mike Burton, isn’t facing crack possession charges this year (don’t ask) and he’s played a much bigger role in the early episodes. It’s no coincidence that they’ve been better, and funnier, because of him.

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Matt Turvey, our new NBA expert, is likely getting discouraged by the lack of attention paid to his NBA missives so far. Like myself, and the immortal Kelly Dwyer, Matt got his start on the dearly departed onhoops.com. Though, truth be told, Matt and Kelly were part of the “second cast” of that site, after the A-listers like myself were off to fame and fortune in Seattle (yeah…it didn’t quite work out for anybody.) But here’s what I want Matt to understand. And it has to be hard to get this vibe half a planet away in Australia… The reason we’re so Cubs crazed right now is that we’ve literally been waiting for this our entire lives. It’s a sickness and the cure is within reach. So pardon us if it’s become an obsession. We wouldn’t have it any other way.

Besides, when the baseball season’s over, we’ll be ready for the NBA. Besides, for the first time since 1998, the Bulls will actually be watchable. So we’ve got that going for us. Which is nice.

And, since I’m now officially retired from fantasy basketball, I’ll freely give you three bits of advice.

Eddy Curry
Eddy Curry
Eddy Curry

I’m just saying.

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Paul Sullivan just figured out these Cubs look like the 2001 Diamondbacks. Wow.

Dusty takes out his whuppin’ stick on Bobby Valentine.

Kerry Lee Wood says the Cubs pitchers like Dusty. And pitchers hardly ever like their manager.

I have no idea what this Mike Downey column is supposed to be about.

Sammy Sosa promised to pray for Rick Morrissey. Let’s hope he prayed for a competent column.

Phil Rogers is a complete dope. But then, we already knew that.

Mariotti puts down the doughnut to love the Cubs today. Beware the other shoe will drop with him. It always does.

The Wizard of Roz with Rick Sutcliffe who says there are no guarantees in baseball. He’s right, Prior or Wood could lose a game in this series, then again, Clement and Zambrano can win one. In fact, I have a hunch that’s exactly what will happen.

Meet Brady Quinn, honey drinker and quarterback at Notre Dame. There’s not much to not like.

No matter the outcome of this trial, Kobe, chairs and rear entry will be the new Tinkers to Evers to Chance of NBA hoops.

Besides, if the best defense Kobe’s team can put on is to insinuate that the girl was a little slutty…Kobe’s got problems. Women who like sex should be applauded, not sexually assaulted.

I’ve got news for you, if you think this hearing was “graphic” just wait until the trial. They might want to simulcast this on the Spice Channel.

So far, the most unintentionally funny thing to come out of the trial was this from former Denver DA Norm Early. “You have two people flirting with each other. You’d expect their first sexual contact wouldn’t be over the back of a chair. That doesn’t ring true to me.” Ahh–Norm’s a romantic.

That’s true the sequence normally goes.
-Flirt
-Hot tub
-Sex in passenger seat of small sports car
-Chair sex

But then, Phil Jackson will tell you that Kobe doesn’t always run the plays right.

Disney has a cool new NASA inspired ride at Disney World. Check out the last line in the story about how the ride might be too realistic. “More than a few tourists had another experience familiar to many astronauts: Their first ride left them more than a little queasy. At one point, Disney workers had to send for more towels to clean the floor.” Ewww. Do you think Disney sells you one of those action photos of yourself hurling on the floor? I’d buy one.

Elton John is going to write a TV show. Hey, it can’t be any worse than “Threat Matrix.”

Ted Casablanca’s gossip-fest. In it we find out that Rob Lowe doesn’t like Jewel. Those teeth scare off everybody.

A Princeton student has been sued for detailing (in a term paper) how to get around CD copy protection with a single keyboard click. Actually, this isn’t without precedence, in 1983 a Yale student was sent to prison for writing in a paper where to put a small piece of Scotch tape so you could tape over cassettes.

Pammy Lee wants the Siegfriend and Roy tigers set free. Uh..where? What are they going to do now? They won’t last six minutes in a jungle. They’ll all end up bartending at the Palms.

At least Kevin Smith has the brains to keep Bennifer off the publicity for “Jersey Girl.”

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