I’m glad they’re gone. Good riddance to the Red Sox and their “benevolent” fan base. If I heard one more story about how gracious Red Sox fans are and how they are pulling for the Cubs to finally win one, I might put my mouth on the tailpipe.
The good thing was that their team, the alleged World Champs, dumped the first two games of the series by football scores. The Cubs pounded out 20 hits on Friday, including a blast to left center by Greggie, and scored seven more runs on Saturday. The Cubs offense, tired from all that running, took a three hour nap last night.
It was interesting to see how the three games were covered. Friday’s was on WGN, Saturday’s on Fox and last night’s on ESPN. Friday’s was the best.
WGN had an overdone and underwhelming half-hour special before Friday’s tilt, but otherwise did a good job. They showed Wayne Messmer’s anthem, always a good way to kick off a big weekend and the Cubs treated Bronson Arroyo like he former Cubs and Sox star Calvin Schiraldi. Len Kasper even broke out a surprisingly strong Boston accent on occasion. Of course, he did botch his call of the final out by saying that the Cubs beat the “White Sox”. Oops.
Saturday’s game was the best of the three. It had a lot of interesting stuff. Carlos Zambrano’s hilarious “slide” into second (which will apparently result in him losing the big toenail on his left foot), a comeback from an early 4-0 deficit, a clutch sac fly by Hank White and Ryan Dempster showing us all how you can still make a three run save chance exciting.
We were forced to listen to tHom Brennaman and Steve Lyons, potentially the worst broadcast duo in the history of Fox in any sport (and that includes the great Curt Menefee-Brian Baldinger duo). TV’s all across Chicago were broken when tHom took his indignant stance that comparing Kerry Wood and Mark Prior to Randy Johnson and Curt Schilling “was and still is, ridiculous!” It’s not that he said ridiculous, it’s how he said it with utter contempt, as though he, himself were wounded by the comparison. He said it was ridiculous because Curt Schilling and Randy Johnson “always took the ball.”
Look, if it’s ridiculous, it’s because Kerry Wood hasn’t held up his end of the bargain. But tHom might want to consider a few things.
Mark Prior is 24.
Kerry Wood is 28.
Let’s see how “ridiculous” the comparisons are.
Mark Prior: 34-17, 3.07 ERA
Curt Schilling at 24: 4-9, 4.06 ERA
Randy Johnson at 24: 3-0, 2.42 ERA
Schilling had only pitched in parts of two seasons by 24, Johnson in only one.
Kerry Wood: 68-51, 3.69 ERA
Curt Schilling at 28: 43-31, 4.33 ERA
Randy Johnson at 28: 59-48, 3.96 ERA
As for “taking the ball” every game, Schilling pitched well for the 1993 pennant winning Phillies, but hurt his shoulder thanks to his increased workload and made only 30 starts combined in 1994 and 1995.
Johnson has battled a bad back his entire career but only made extensive DL trips in 1996 (eight starts) and 2003 (18 starts). So we’ll give tHom that one.
If you want to mock people who compare a couple of young pitchers to two of the best in the game in the past decade, it’s your right. But when both of the young pitchers have had more success at their ages than either of the old guys had at the same stage in their careers, you know, you might want to point that out.
But we know the real reason tHom was so indignant about the comparison. Don’t we?
Last night it was time to listen to the inane ramblings of Joe Morgan. Joe was in rare form. First, he ripped Terry Francona for not starting Bill Mueller, David Ortiz, Jason Varitek or Trot Nixon. Mueller’s replacement, Kevin Youkilis had three hits and a homer. Oritz’s replacement, Kevin Millar had two hits, Jay Payton, playing for Trot (who can’t hit lefties) had two hits and a homer and Mirabelli is Tim Wakefield’s catcher and he had two hits.
Morgan said the Cubs are “playing better, but miss Sammy Sosa.” That was just mind numbingly dumb. Sure, they miss the 2001 version of Sammy, at least in the lineup, but does Joe not have cable? Has he not seen Sammy’s demise? Sure, Sammy had two homers yesterday in Cincinnati, but the Orioles still lost and he’s still having a lousy year. Joe says, “you can’t replace superstars.” That may be true, but Sammy’s hardly played like one since 2002 and Derrek Lee seems to be the superstar, anyway.
What did we learn from three games with the World Champs?
– Carlos needs some serious baserunning lessons, stat.
– Jason Dubois still needs a map and a flashlight to play left field.
– The Red Sox bullpen is awful. They’re like the Cubs ‘pen in April and May.
– Joe Borowski has nothing.
– Greg Maddux is now 146-5 when his team scores more than five runs for him since 1992. Holy shit.
– This Derrek Lee fella. He’s good.
– Todd Hollandsworth is going to play left field most every day until the Cubs trade for a real left fielder. And this time, you can’t blame Dusty. He’s given Dubois a shot. But the strikeout combo of Dubois and Patterson is tough to stomach, Hollandsworth’s hitting, and Jason doesn’t just give you nothing on defense, he takes things away. Like outs.
– ESPN is obsessed with the length of the grass at Wrigley. Yes, it’s long, but it’s not so long you can’t run through it. Morgan made it sound like the grass was waist high. Get over it. The park’s small and the wind howls out from time to time. The Cubs are built on pitching, what are they supposed to make it easier to hit?
– Steve Lyons is so dumb, he makes my head hurt.
– The Cubs are one new starting outfielder away from being really good. But we’ve known this forever. (Well, since April.) E-ramis is hitting now, Derrek’s a god, Barrett’s hitting, Neifi’s playing over his head and Walker’s getting healthy. Burnitz is a keeper because he plays very good defense, has some pop and doesn’t do overtly stupid things. So it’s left or center. Take your pick. Find the best guy you can get and bring him in.
– Kerry Wood’s off to Des Moines to start tonight and could be back in time to face the White Sox at the Cell on July 24. Mark Prior’s already throwing off a mound and could be back by the first week in July.
Tonight, the Cubs need a Sergio Meat Tray v. Roy Halladay performance as they send the woeful John Koronka the mound against Dontrelle Willis. The Marlins aren’t hitting, but Koronka is likely to heat their bats up. Here’s one good thing about Koronka. He’s got an allegedly good pick off move. So he can at least try to pick Juan Pierre, Luis Castillo and/or Miguel Cabrera off. So that’s something, right?
The next five starters the Cubs will face are: Willis, Josh Beckett, AJ Burnett, Randy Johnson and Carl Pavano. Maybe Hendry can swing a trade by lunch time?
Where am I today?
Our victory in the World Bowl will forever be tainted by the fact that Curt Menafee and Brian Baldinger were the announcers for the game. We feel especially bad for Chicago area FOX viewers who put up with three hours of Menafee and Baldinger, followed by three hours of Brennaman and Lyons. They really just need to let Ron Howard narrate their sporting events, much like he does on “Arrested Development.”
A map and flashlight might just work for young Dubois. But I always preferred the batting helmet and bushel basket method. Hey, it worked for me, sort of, well, not really but… eh the hell with it.
Go get Aubrey Huff.
We are conspicuously absent today as well.
I almost spit out my beer when Morgan was talking about how much the Cubs miss Sammy. Besides Burnitz’s better numbers, it was Burnitz’s throw to the cutoff man (and subsequent heads up play by Derrek Lee) that got Mirabelli thrown out at 2nd and put off the Cubs demise for a couple of innings. When exactly, was the last time Sammy hit the cutoff man?
Also, I can’t believe that Andy didn’t mention that the Reds sent his boy Austin Kearns to AAA this weekend. I’m sure Jim Hendry noticed.
I’m the date the Cubs play the White Sox
The very second I saw Shrunken Head Brennaman and Assclown Lyons, I dove for the remote, muting the TV and turning on Pat & Ron. Sadly, the delay was too long (at least one full second) and it’s hard wathcing the game when you hear the play in advance, so I had to resign myself to listening to those boobs, silently stewing as tHom, whose got a DJ voice that almost makes Chip’s seem human by comparison, did his best to ruin my afternoon.
I think I hate tHom more than Chip. Chip was just a soulless boob. tHom’s soulless also, but he’s also got a punk-ass about him which makes you want to punch him in the temple.
Repeatedly.
You have Kaspar, Brenly, Santo and Hughes all broadcasting the games and I’m dumb?
Harry Carey right now would be more entertaining than any of those four and he’s dead.
Yes you are dumb, Lyons. Learn how to spell my fucking name, short bus.
We won 2 of 3? Why didn’t someone wake me up?
Where’s the Rally Lace?
Mike D, the delay on Dish Network is between 4-5 seconds, so it is really hard to mute (unless you want to hear ahead of time what’s going to happen on the screen).
As for the Red Sox fans, I’d rather hear the crap about gracious they are than be around the assclowns who come in to watch the White Sox and Cardinals.
Joe Morgan is simply an idiot. What the hell was he talking about the basket in the Wrigley bleachers being called “Banks Boulevard”? He HAD to have made that up.
Dave,
I’m surprised Morgan didn’t try to take another shot at me when discussing the basket.
Sorry Harry…
Now take that Falstaff can out of your ass and lighten up asshole.
Morgan is hilarious. He comes to the broadcast booth with a script and he is going to stick to it, regardless of what is going on in front of his eyes.
I didn’t have time for the links, hence no “Daily Dose.”
June, July, what’s the difference?
As for the delay, one nice thing about XM is that it’s delayed, too and so your sound and video are much closer to being syched.
Or you can go with the Ashley Judd method (she explained this in SI a few weeks back). When she’s on the road with her race car driver hubby and the Wildcats are on TV and she chooses to shun Billy Packer she listens to the radio call on her laptop, with the game on the Dish via TiVo. She can then pause the TiVo until it matches up with the audio. Quite brilliant for Wynonna’s little (in every way) sister.
And did you get a load of my 3 minute diatribe about the rooftop owners vs the Cubs which ended “yes the two have been in and out of court and city hall”. A few minutes later (when I was starting again) Steve Lyons went ‘wasn’t that setteled’ and I finally replied “I think it was”
Somehow I forgot to mention that it had been settled 18 months ago.
Asshat
Did you notice how when I made that shit up about “Banks Boulevard” I implied that most of Ernie’s homers were cheapies that would never have made it out without the basket?
I hate all things Cub!
Yeah, the TiVo/gameday audio method works great. But don’t listen to me…I drink furniture polish… which causes me to add emphasis…. to the words… AT THE END OF EVERY SENTENCE.
What happened to me?
I forgot to sign it… stupid furniture polish
I’d advocate shipping Corey’s ass out on a rail, except that nobody else has anything that I would want, that they would be willing to give us back for Corey. Did I say that right?
How ’bout Fes, Wellemeyer, Remlinger and Patterson for Damon? If there’s one thing that I could see that Boston’s deficient in, it’s the bullpen. Wellemeyer struck out the side on Saturday and even Graybeard’s gotta be better than Alan Ambree. If Boston’s advance scout happened to catch the Meat Tray outdueling Halladay, maybe they could be suckered to take it?
Corey ain’t hitting, but a fresh start might pay dividends for Boston. I tend to drink a lot, but I SWEAR that there have been times in the past when Patterson has been the toughest out in the lineup.
We only have 3 good pitchers, and now you want to trade that away too?
Keep your pants on
I am the best 2nd baseman EVER! Sandberg doesn’t belong in the hall, and Sammy is in my mind at least, still a feared slugger who never strikes out. I had no protection in any of the lineups that I hit in. I am the best announcer in the world. That’s why I’m gone national bitches!
He just wants to trade those guys because I cometh…
Thom takes the ball every game
You ain’t getting Damon. Boston still needs him.
Wanna focus on a guy for whacko trades? Ichiro.
How about Korey, Rich Hill and Dopriak for Ichiro?
That reminds me. Morgan went on his whole tangent about how they used to call that “Banks Boulevard” where Ernie would hit homers into the basket.
There’s only one problem with that.
Ernie retired in 1971.
The basket went up in 1970.
Ernie hit exactly 15 homers after opening day 1970. He hit 497 before then.
We know that his 500th homer didn’t hit the basket, we’ve seen that a ton. So he hit 14 homers in his entire career that even could have landed in the basket.
Nice job, Joe. Keep up the good work.
Ichiro could never play in Wrigley Field. The head high grass would negate his speed, and playing in the shadow of Sammy Sosa would totally demoralize him.
I’m short. I’m pretty sure all you’d see above the grass would be my hat.
I just had MTV on and they had a “Making the Video” on of Jessica Simpson’s remake of “These Boots are Made for Walkin'” from the new Dukes of Hazzard movie. Quite simply, the hottest…music…video…EVER.
Sloth, this may give you a heart attack.
Please, Sloth. Watch the video.
Any time the Cubs take 2 out of 3 from the Red Sox, it’s hard to complain. I even find it hard to bitch about Baker in the series.
One thing I”m never going to lay off of until he’s officially shipped out is Korey. Wasn’t it a sight when on Saturday that ball bounced off the wall right off his melon? You’d think that would knock some sense into the stupid bastard, but his brain just doesn’t work like that.
Really, what is Hendry waiting for. You can say there’s nothing out there for leftfield or centerfield, but you just can’t keep sticking Korey into this lineup. He does nothing for it-2 strikeouts, one popout(foul or fair, you can take your pick), and a groundout to the 2nd baseman just doesn’t get it. Bench his ass and put anybody else out there in center but him. It’s getting down right tiring watching this same output day after day after day.
But anyway, was anyone else a little sympathetic about Sweaty Joe’s performance last night. When he give up those homeruns, they really need to take the camera off of him. He gets to be a very angry individual who likes saying the F-word. Those neck snaps keep his chiropractor in business too.
It’s time to go fishing for some Marlin tonight. Hopefully Koronka can reel them in with a long outing and a stellar performance.
GO CUBS!
Baker Basher
So should I start in center again, BB?
I have a feeling tonight’s going to be a tough one to sit through. I was kind of hoping Tom Skilling would call it off so we could have a real pitcher go up against Willis some other time, but I doubt we’ll dodge this bullet. I will be in attendance tonight to watch Koronka’s ERA creep into the pre-Blue Jays Meat Tray territory. What’s the over/under for how many “Who?”‘s I’ll hear when they announce Koronka as the starter?
The basket has been up in Wrigley since the mid 1800’s dammit. Do not test my knowledge of all things baseball. If you do, you be racist.
50…and I’ll take the over.
Did you also catch when I said that the Cubs are only above .500 because of Derrek Lee and Dusty Baker?
I thought Joe was going to explain that Dusty deserved some of the credit for the Cubs turnaround since he got all of the blame when they were sucking. I was going to actually agree with Joe. Instead he said just what is posted above, that ALL the credit goes to Derrek and Dusty. How does this guy make that much money saying ludicrous crap like that?
I don’t know about you, but I saw Dusty suited up and playing the other eight postions while Lee handled first base.
Did anyone see where Jimmy Rollins and Brad Penny got big extensions today. Talk about pissing money down the drain. Isn’t it about time for Penny’s arm to have spasms again?
Dolan,
Excellent work on the autopsy of Morgan’s “Banks Boulevard” mouth spasm. When is someone in the national media going to call out this totally clueless assbag for the egotistical piece of shit that he is? He’s downright ignorant to boot.
I hated Morgan’s pansy ass when he played for Houston, I guess that dates me a bit.
Ichiro wont get traded cause the Mariners don’t want to piss us off. I mean, who else will come watch this team play? Well, except for today’s sure sell-out Phils-Mariners showdown. That’ll be as marquee a matchup as Toronto v. ASStros.
It’s a beautiful day for a beatdown! Let’s kill Morgan too!
Give Seattle Jae Kuk Ryu. He’s Asian.
Hmm, if they did put the basket in there in 1953, how many homers would I have? 612?
Fuck You Chuck!
You just described EVERY Cub fan in the country while describing Joe Morgan…
“totally clueless assbag”
“egotistical piece of shit”
“downright ignorant to boot.”
According to Joe Morgan, we threw the World Series!
Aw shit, I noticed that Morgan line last night too, and finally got something posted on it today. Please don’t sue me for plagarism Andy.
Yeah, cuz we’re not egotistical either.
Neither are we…oh wait…what does egotistical mean?
Don’t ya’ll be fuhgettin’ dem dere us.
About as clueless as Squawk Harrelson when he goes out to dinner and sees 2 forks by his plate.
I love it when you analyze. Take em’ right here big Jon. He gone! Gas! Can of corn. Oh look at this (when other team gets a hit he sees as “cheap”). He’ll grab some bench. There’s a little duck snort. I would like to see another announcer come up with these kinds of gems, oh yeah, they can’t.
So Hollandsworth is hitting the ball over a 2 day stretch…big deal. He’s still 1 foul ball away from having his leg amputated at the knee. I thought that I saw Dubois make a pretty good play out there last night..hmm…
With Cub fans now, Sandberg would have been ridden out of town on a rail his rookie year, and we’d have traded hiim for Glenn Hubbard, a proven veteran.
So play him 2x a week instead of one….he still has very little upside.
Great point on the Brennaman situation…what an assclown!!!
i mean, this is the site….guees I AM a moran…
Sorry, I meant Ryno Road not Banks Boulevard.
Neifi ss
Fusilli Jerry 2b
Zeus 1b
Ramirez 3b
Dubois lf
Burnitz rf
“I got it! Oh shit.” cf
Barrett c
Koronkadonk p
Don’t mess with us… Or do. We don’t really care.
Great lineup! Clearly, I’m not good enough to play every day.
Always worked for me, Ichiro.
Woody’s been bragging about the sweet poon in Des Moines.
Why the hell am I batting Corey Patterson second when he can’t get on base? Wouldn’t Todd Walker or Michael Barret make more sense? That way Corey can forget about hitting and try to learn how to play defense, so he can at least contribute something. I am an idiot.
“Intrepid Reader: The 1918 Cubs… According to Joe Morgan, we threw the World Series!”
Ass that he is, the guy’s not alone on this one, fellas.
you just ruined my week. I’d heard about this before, but methinks you make a good case…if only I were 117 years old…oh well…fuck it.
Why would birds care about Ichiro? Unless his head is too small a target to poop on.
We don’t care about Ichiro. We just don’t want Jae-Kyuk Ryu in an M’s uniform.
If our farm system is loaded with pitching talents, why in the hell is Koronka up there. He is a left handed version of the 2004 fall version of Matt Clement. Slow, wild, and shitty is no way to go through life son. It’s time to get crazy Mr. Hendry. If the Cubs win six games the rest of June they will be doing good. We suck at Wrigley too.