Pitching matchup
Bathub Meth Brewery: Joel Pinata 5-3, 4.28 ERA
Cubs: The Bull Moose 14-7, 3.85 ERA
Lineups
Shitbirds
Some asshole who tucks his ears into his hat, 3b
The 33 year old Jap who looks like a nine year old, lf
The “27” year old slugger with the increasingly bulbous forehead, 1b
Drugstore Cowboy, rf
Banjo Neanderthal, c
Lassie, cf
Fat guy who got raped in a hotel room with Morgan Ensberg, 2b
The Pinata, p
The Garden Gnome, ss
Cubs
Al Soriano, lf
Dance Fever, ss
Derrek Lee, 1b
The Decaying Corpse of Cliff Floyd, rf
E-ramis, 3b
PonDeRosa, 2b
Jock, cf
Captain Caveman, c
The Bull Moose, p
Add a “t” to me.
Bat hub! I love it! I’m going to start calling the bat rack that!
Here we come! Gonna win the Central by four games!
I’m drunk.
With the rain in the forecast today, I have installed wipers on my sunglasses.
Why is Floyd the Barber hitting clean-up and Rammy 5th?
Spunds like a rowdy crowd today. I want the HGH chant right now!!!
I wonder if Joe L. Piniero is Joel Piniero’s brother?
Brave!
My crew is doing a Cubs game again?
Three is the over/under on our jokes about “sweeping” the one game series, and homestand.
I can’t wait to throw E-ramis out of another game.
Cub’s hurlers would solve their probems by throwing off their back foot. Works for me, thats why I refuse to change it!
Lou’s starting to look like Santa Claus with that beard.
My gut is Santa like as well
I must feel good, he’s back to hopping when he catches flyballs.
I like Vodka
As opposed to Jock, who merely hopes when he catches flyballs.
Scotchy scotch scotch. Going down my throat. Into my belly.
We’re the size of peas by now.
When following on my phone, I use the MLB.com WAP enabled pages. Works great on this browser.
Try this: http://wap.mlb.com/scores/pitch.jsp?gid=2007_09_10_slnmlb_chnmlb_1&c_id=mlb
I have no comment on this at bat.
Uh, Chuck. WAP is not the preferred nomenclature. They prefer Italian-American.
My hands may have been installed backwards.
I told myself I wasn’t going to care any more. And here I am again.
Actually, we prefer wop or dago.
I sound pretty lubed up today.
Fastballs in, soft stuff away. Ankiel will push everything off to the left. He’ll quit the game.
See ya, Ricky!!!
WAP was the sound Ankiel’s bat made hitting his back.
Looks like I picked a bad day to stop using growth hormone.
I like meth. I really do. yummy, yummy meth.
not even giving us a strike zone today
Me too!!
We’re particularly un-PC today, aren’t we? I love it!
When dago flat dago wap wap wap.
You can see my head on google maps.
I will eat someone’s children today. Or David Eckstein. Same difference.
We’re all someone’s children, Ted.
Cub sucka da whole northa side!!
Why does Theriot always leadoff with one out?
sweet
Shaddap ya’ schvartzas!
We have a plane to catch.
That hormone stuff didn’t do shit for my speed.
An afternoon spent by the right field bleacher fans will have me wetting my bed for weeks.
Another two-out hit with no one on, biotches.
We’ll toss HGH-boy a pistol so he can eat it.
Love that two-out magic!
How about that!
I’m asking the umpires to check Cliff Floyd’s urine for Geritol.
If you do he’ll probably knock over the 7-11 across the street first.
Yeah…now uh…there’s a guy that….uhhhh..
This is a rough roadtrip that we’re on. But I took a nap in my car.
Tuesday at Houston: Jason Marquis
Wednesday at Houston: Rich Hill
Thursday at Houston: Steve Trachsel (Dear God, why?–three days rest)
Friday at St. Louis: Carlos Zambrano
Saturday at St. Louis: Ted Lilly and Sean Marshall (order to be determined).
Sunday at St. Louis: Marquis
Monday vs. Cincinnati: Hill
Sept. 18 vs. Cincinnati: Zambrano (three days rest)
Sept. 19 vs. Cincinnati: Lilly (three days rest)
Sept. 20: Off Day
I haven’t hit an opposite field homer since 1994.
We don’t like playing with a lead.
Well that lead didn’t last long.
I’ve never felt so violated.
Sit down Miles.
Hey Miles! That’s the kind of heady baserunning that I like! Good job!
yes you have Aaron. Remember that night in Houston after we went back to the hotel?
Aaron Miles should wear me when he runs.
It wasn’t all roses, violins and Vaseline, Jimmy.
http://www.ocregister.com/ocr/sections/sports/sports/article_581314.php
I seem to be part of the crew for every Cubs game.
We always seem to be involved in the Cubs important late-season series.
Let’s see what we can fuck with today.
You mean we’re going to have to score more than one run if we want to win this game?
You can tell there are a lot of people who don’t normally get to come to games here today. They just showed a black guy in the bleachers.
I can strike out, too.
I’d ask Lou for more playing time but I’m afraid Kendall would cut me up into little pieces and scatter me all over town.
Hey fuck WOO you #63 WOO in the ear WOO WOO WOO!!!
Meth, meth, meth, yummy yummy meth.
Just as I planned it! My leadoff hitter batting 9th and leading off.
Sorry, I meant they showed ANOTHER black guy in the crowd.
Feel better?
I’m so smart. I love me.
gritty AB
You, Eck. Don’t you know when you get to strike two, you are suipposed to swing and MISS?
I REALLY hustled there. I was almos safe! Weeeeeee
That black guy’s a vendor on his day off. He and Ho Pun are on a date.
Those cheating bastards keep hurling the barrels of their bats at E-ramis!
I’m at work and can’t listen or watch…or drink. Someone please let me know when Pat and Ron start their coochie coochie routine for So Taguchi.
So THAT’S what a 1-2-3 inning looks like.
I don’t like coochie.
According to NFL.com I’m done for the year along with Mike Brown. Ouch.
I am made out of the same stuff as Mark Prior’s elbow.
Al took a pitch? WTF?
I talk a good game, but I gave up a long time ago.
#76
We show you what a 1-2-3 inning looks like a lot.
Man, these guys suck. I wish I could pitch against them every week.
Jim Hendry’s has cursed this team with Alfonso Soriano. For years and years and years…
Hey, I’ve only been here a coule weeks.
Our pitcher lead off innings all the time. Isn’t that cool!
Like when I hit the ball in the air, Ogdens?
So, now I see in Soriano what Korey looks like with a better swing. I fucking hate both of them.
I guess we didn’t learn from the first inning. Keep hitting it in the air.
Hit it to Jock!
I got it, I got it!!
I tried but that didn’t work.
Score some damn runs or I’m going to be very angry.
You won’t like me when I’m angry.
Nice route I took to first, did I try to punch Lilly on my way there?
Shut the fuck up, Ted. We don’t like the fans when THEY are angry!
How about a little run support you gutless slap dicks?
I’m going to eat Fontenot if I lose this game.
I see Andy’s back to calling me just Derrek Lee now. I’ll win the MVLee back! I promise!
There’s your fucking run Ted.
That’s all you’re going to get today, Bull-Moose.
Damn, that was close.
Yay!
#99,
Don’t worry I’ll probably give it right back.
I have no idea why I don’t hit more homers. Can’t be because I get fooled and hit everything off my front foot? Nah.
I’m also the Dumbass Du Jour. My how I’ve fallen.
Watch me chase a slider.
F Y C.
According to Gameday Joe L. has throw a couple of balls at A-Ram’s balls.
Back to not back to back home runs.
There’s another fucking run.
What is this? I don’t understand.
BP time.
This is not going according to my evil plan.
I love lamp!!
Here comes Jock to GIDP.
Time for the 4-6-3.
This is why the Cubs shouldn’t have Lee and Ramirez lead off. They hit too many solo homers.
Huh? What? Shut up. I’m an expert! I say how many guys lead off! How’s the visiblity?
D Lee has as many runs scored and RBI today as he has since the Dodger series.
How the fuck did I do that?
What the fuck is going on? This isn’t right, I tell ya.
I’m back to sucking.
Joe L. must be in real trouble if Jock didn’t GIDP and instead doubled home a run.
I make Jones’ arm look like Dawson’s.
Enjoy it while it lasts!
Good one Jock! I thought I was going to have to stab you with my Trident!!
At least we’re well rested.
I actually own the mouth-breathers.
Gettting ready to pour up here in Northbrook, heading southeast. Good idea to get through 5 quickly.
Just gotta get to the pitcher batting eighth.
Damnit. Piniella doesn’t know shit about filling out a lineup card.
This is fun
I’m going yard, here, bitches!
You guys better hurry the fuck up if you want to get this in.
Man, I can’t believe I’m still in the game.
I wanted to kill Ankiel with that shot
I’m the balls.
Wow, they’re murdering the ball!
Don’t worry I’ll end the inning right now.
Lilly just doubled home Manson? Can the Cubs face Joe L. every day?
That, is funny
Apparently I’m throwing underhand today
When you need an oil change, come to…Tony La La’s butt hub.
Can it, Skilling. It’s not gonna rain for awhile.
Lots of us today!!
So Ron, tell us about Andy Cavazos.
I was Hancock’s favorite teammate.
Well Cavazos ummm….now there’s a guy who um uhhh…throw’s the ball Pat…..
My Gamecast picture makes me look like the “after” shot in meth photos. Guess I picked the right team.
Isn’t Cavazos the Astros left fielder?
Alf took a walk?
And to top it off, Al walks on 10 pitches! Reality as I know it now ceases to exist.
A 10 pitch walk. FYC.
Yes Taylor, also had a 10 pitch at bat. Blind. Squirrel. Nut.
Cavezas is what your wife is giving me under the table right now Ronny….
Why do I wear eye-makeup?
My old school helmet is the balls. So’s my job!
I smoked that thing
Bud Light commercial on right now… “What’s with the ax?” Fitting.
That’s more like it.
My ass hurts too much to run.
This game is now me!
pitches, bitches
I’m down on the un-PC tip. My Beastie Boys concert promo used “Girls” from Licensed to Ill as the music.
Aaron Miles gameday pic reminds of Glendon Rusch.
What we all should be doing now (except BC of course).
So Ron, what do you know about Brian Falkenborg?
Who?
Who the **** is Brian Falkenborg?
Greetings, Professor Falken(bourg)…shall we play a game?
I’m the only guy in the world that would fall for that Edmonds “I might catch it” routine.
Here comes Jock with bases loaded and one out to GIDP.
“Jones, a ground ball candidate.” Hell, he’s the ground ball president.
Why is it so cold here all of a sudden?
GIDP my ass.
Jock goes the other way for a single. If only that wasn’t an accident, but an actual approach.
GIDP???
Len: “There’s only been on Falkenborg in big league history, the guy on the mound. Jock is the 92nd and shittiest Jones.”
Do this 4 out of five before you get excited, dude.
Hey you assholes, save some of these runs for Thursday.
Shut up Steve, you’re a douche.
Win a World Series before you get excited, Dude.
Nice one, 171
Damnit Manson if Jock can get a single what’s wrong with you?
I’m glad MLB hasn’t outlawed alcohol on charter flights.
I’m the new Dusty Baker!! Call me Dusty Smith or Lovie Baker, whatever tickles your playbook!!
Hey, I’m leading off next inning.
Shut up Shawn, you’re a douche.
Hey Lou, can I pitch today?
Not a fucking chance.
Come on Bundy you’ve got a 6 run lead. Don’t blow it.
Suck it Lilly
So *(@$%(@*%@(**( Taguchi?
Son of a bitch.
My skull should be a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon
Please tell me I just happened.
Get Marmol warmed up.
You guys praying for me yet?
You didn’t. So must be dipping into Ankiel’s HGH stash.
I even happen to Cub fans when there’s a 4-run lead
Coming up in the 9th inning.
So Ronnie, tell us about Kelvin Jiménez.
Injury delay?
Can someone watching/listening tell us what the injury delay is? Please?
Well Pat, Kelvin is umerum a guy who can….we’ve got a fax here!!
Theriot reminds me a lot of Eckstein.
Theriot fouled the ball off his foot/leg but stayed in the game.
Please don’t tell me it’s my quad!!!
That’s okay you won’t need any insurance runs.
Theriot hit into a double play so he could rush to the hospital.
Should have had The Riot bunt Soriano over to second.
Pie anyone?…
Pie anyone?…
Edmunds anyone?…
Where’d everybody go? I feel all alone.
Lead off double. Someone get Ramirez a chair.
Someone say sumthin’ about it bein’ time for to produce now?
Can I please rest now?
Another one of me today!!
How often does Jock get IBB?!?!? Oh, the Genius.
Holy shit, they’re walking me?
Think I deserve to go back to clean up…. although I am cleaning up today.
I’m surprized that Jock isn’t swinging at the intentional balls. C’mon Manson make them pay.
I was intentionaly walked???
Damn Lou, I wanted to hit one of these mouth-breathers.
I’ll drive these fuckers in.
Clutch hit by pitch! Attaboy Jason.
If I were Kelvin I’d be buying a one way ticket to some where far away. And change my name and appearance.
Kelvin Jimenez is me.
I need some wine.
I’m disoriented, Felix isn’t in my pouch. What the hell is a Sam Fuld?
Hello!
Better walk the Kangaroo now, set up the DP with this Soriano guy.
Will I still get a standing ovation at the big urinal cake?
How sweet it is….
(Crawls out of pouch.)
Wow! You DO NOT want to smell that thing!
Marquis as a pinch runner? Is Lou deliberately tweaking the Genius?
Why is Lou using me…this is dumb.
I’m going deep Ogdens
235. Agreed.
Lou is risking injury to Marquis by pinch running him when he’s got a bench full of guys.
I don’t blame him. I’d have used Trachsel myself.
Hey, whatever happened to the wireless communication between the dugout and the bullpen? I remember seeing John McDonough hyping that at a game last year, I think it was. I just saw the Genius dialling up someone on the touch-tone phone…
Another bases loaded one out situation and the Cubs will score only one run.
I think Soriano just broke the home plate ump’s arm. Hah, hah!
I was impaled by a piece of lumber.
I made that decision for old Lou!!
What’s the injury delay about now?
my arm
Injury delay again?
That wireless shit never works. Several times this year they’ve shown Rothschild trying to call the pen with it, then having to go to the real phone. Then again, maybe he’s just too damn dumb to run a cell phone?
got a piece of the cork in fonzies bat slammed into his arm
Terry-O is sporting me.
Today’s not my day.
Someone say porn?…
Hell Lou, can I pitch today?
Will I possibly be closing today?
I should be wearing one of Howry’s tightpants fastballs in the ribs.
Will, leave it to the big boys. How about an inning in 6 pitches (with 1K) dogues…
C’mon Lou let me pitch the 9th. What’s the worst that can happen?
Is it just me, or does Theriot look like Brandon Flowers, the lead singer of the Killers?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/norfolk/content/image_galleries/gallery_nme_tour_gallery.shtml?1
Lou wants my arm to fall off.
1 pitch out. Felix does a really good Jock impersonation. But I shouldn’t be so negative.
Ok, somebody’s getting drilled now.
IHOP please.
huh?
!!!!
We are sure blowing all of our power in one game. Don’t expect it again for a while ogdens!
Time for Keystone to get a big hit when it really doesn’t matter.
I don’t care anymore.
265, you sure called it…
Sit me down, please Lou.
It’s not even a challenge anymore! It’s like shooting fish in a barrel!!
Edmonds couldn’t have done it better. Ankiel took a terrible route, and made a great diving catch that a good RF would have simply run and caught, no dive necessary,
Fish in a barrel….
We should see Pignatiello, or maybe Ohman here. No Marmot, no Dumpster. Please.
Why does everyone hate me??
I’ll spoil the fun tonight.
The key is, why use the Dumpster in a 9-run laugher? Give mop-up duty to a rookie. I wouldn’t have used Wuertz here either.
Just said Taguchi just fouled off a pitchout…with nobody on. Nice.
Wow, 2 walks.
Rick Ankiel, 0-4, 4 K’s. hGh…
But disappointed that nobody on the Cardinals took a fastball to the earflap after Kendall got drilled. What’s the point of having an expanded roster if you can’t sacrifice a Triple-A guy to an ejection in a nine-run game?
Could anynoe hear any HGH chant? We gave it our best shot.
How about we run the freaking bases today and let our 2nd best pitcher ghill out before a road start. Stupid ass Piniella and Rothchild.
Brenly mentioned the fact that a couple of Cubs got drilled today but there wiould be plenty of time for possible pay-back this weekend.
The Cubs looked like a team who wanted to win. That was a sweet double play to end the game and move back into a tie for first.