Pitching Match Up
Dodgers: Odalis Perez, 7-6, 3.25 ERA
Satanic Fowl: Woody Williams, 11-8, 4.18 ERA
Also, don’t miss Desipio’s 2004 Playoff Preview, or today’s Daily Dose.
Lineups
Dodgers
Cesar Izturis, ss
Jayson Werth, lf
Steve Finley, cf
Adrian Beltre, 3b
Shawn Green, 1b
Milton Bradley, rf
Alex Cora, 2b
Brett Mayne, c (He’s still alive?)
Odalis Perez, p
Satanic Fowl
Tony Womack, 2b
Larry Walker, rf
Albie Pujols, Sr., 1b
Scott Rolen, 3b
Edgar Renteria, ss
Lassie, cf
Reggie Sanders, lf
Mike Matheny, c
Woody Williams, p
Just wait until you see what I have cooked up for today! When Bradley comes up to bat, I’m going to have all of our players throw water bottles at him!
I’m hilarious! And witty! Did you know that I’m a lawyer?
I’ll be in the Cardinals clubhouse from noon to about 12:15 today, buddy!
We’re going to get a double dose today aren’t we? We’re getting the Anti Christ at one game and Chris Berman at the other, aren’t we?
Please, kill me now.
I’m not on the NLDS roster for the Yankees. Are they testing or something?
Hmm?
Excuse me, I have to go massage my polyp.
I’m picking the Cardinals and Yankees. Nobody can read the standings like I can!
Can’t stand the pressure! Buttons starting to give!
Beware the flabbalanche!
Yeah, I’m still alive, barely.
I’m not dead? Hot damn!
I’m also barely alive. Hey Brent, remember when you, Pujols and I all played for the Chicago Whales of the Federal League? Whatever happened to Wheegam Park?
Good news! Inspired by brave geriatrics like Woody Williams and Albert Pujols, I’ll be pitching game 2 for the Dodgers.
Orel, I have Game 3 (now that Yom Kippur is over, I won’t have to miss a start), and Don Newcombe faces Dizzy Dean in Game 4.
Andy, you need to hook us up and turn down your television machine.
You can listen to the estimable and entirely awesome Vin Scully, or the inbred, Edgar G. Robinson-crossed-with-a-redneck announcer of the Cardinals.
The number 9 has to be feeling special today…
Dodgers/Cardinals started at 12:09 CT.
Boston/Anaheim will start at 3:09 CT.
Twins/Yankees will start at 7:19 CT.
Paul Bako must be proud of his number for getting into the postseason.
That home run is dedicated to all the men I fought side by side with in the Spanish American War.
Man, I’m just barely surviving right now, aren’t I?
You think Chip is bad? I am a terrible homer with an old man gutteral voice that needs a throat clearing. On top of it, I have a hick twang.
I just let out a feminine "Hee hee hee!" on Renteria almost getting caught in a rundown between 2nd and 3rd. I sounded like I was calling a pig contest… SUE-EY!
I believe you are talking about Mike Shannon #16…
He sounds like he’s drunk all the time and NEVER makes any sense. Some people like equating him with Santo for whatever reason. At least Ron adds a decent point every once in a while.
I just blamed Reggie Sanders’ pop-out on a weakened bat.
I’m an ass. Is Vin Scully’s feed back, or is he still broadcasting from a coffee can muffled with 3 feet of styrofoam?
Is there any chance that Mt. St. Helens could erupt and the spewing lava and ash could flow east and engulf The Big Urinal Cake?
Hey, a guy’s gotta dream.
We’re going to keep this just close enough so we can come back against Fat Ray and win this one for you guys…
Dave B, you’re forgetting I’m sitting right on top of a huge fault…
TIME FOR AN EARTHQUAKE BABYYYYY!!!
Aren’t we enough of a disaster for Cardinal Nation?
I grew up less than 5 minutes away from being able to get on I-70.
Even though I was more than two hours away from St. Louis, I still felt too close.
Hey, the Cardinals are taking our bit!
Only we score all of our runs with solo homers!
Any bets I will be the most hated Cardinal by the Cardinal nation by the end of the post-season?
Two out magic by the Cardinals! Yay!
Don’t take me out now!! I just got to the crappy part of their lineup!!
This is our no. 1 starter?!?
BC,
I don’t sound like I’m drunk all the time! I am drunk all the time!
You can’t steal 2nd off me! I’m a gold glover!
All the Dodgers have to do is win one at the Cake. If they do, they would probably have a 75% chance maybe of finishing it at Dodger Stadium…
Holy Christ! We’re terrible!
No problem guys, I’m taking the hill for tomorrow’s game!
Come back time! We have our own 2 out magic!
I leave you people alone with the Cardinals for two hours and it’s 7-1? I’m ashamed.
Wasn’t somebody on this site advocating the acquistion of Odalis Perex by the Cubs?
Those of you forced to listen to the Cardinals radio network at least do not have to listen to me.
I just said that Jim Edmonds is still playing hard even with a six run lead. This is supposed to be in-depth commentary. I need to be beaten to death with a noodle.
It’s not their fault, Andy. Mike Matheny can rake!!
I’d make a good Cubs pitcher. Greg Maddux and I can combine to give up 64 homers next year!
Hmm, that Finley aquisition seems to be working out well…
Since the day games are all on Disney owned ESPN you’ll get to see lots of promos for my show on Disney owned ABC…"Lost." I’m super hot. If I had been around last year, I’d have gotten the Cubs at least one more win than Eliza Dushku did.
Paul, you forgot to mention my GOLD GLOVE.
The Dodgers are in the playoffs, and the Cubs aren’t. I still can’t get over that.
Gary Miller…baseball sideline reporter? Man his career is in the tank. You pee on one cop…
He even lost out on a job at Comcast Chicago to Pat Boyle. Pat Boyle! That’s like losing a beauty contest to Julian Tavarez.
The only true baseball sideline reporter is Sam Ryan. Not Bob Ryan. Samantha.
I’m imploring the Dodgers to "use your outs wisely." That does seem like a novel approach. When I first broke in with the old Colt .45s we used to use our outs willy nilly.
Robin Ventura pinch hitting for Brent Mayne. Are these the 1993 playoffs?
Who else is on the Dodger bench, Ken Landreaux and Dave Lopes?
That was me Dave B…
196.1 IP
128 K’s
3.25 ERA
1.14 WHIP
In theory it was a good idea…
Then again, in theory, Communism works.
I’ve been struck out by Woody Williams…time to call it a career.
Now there is a hot sitcom. Bitches are smokin’
I hate dee Cardinals! Viva los Dodgers!
The Dodgers are of course bench-coached by Jim Riggleman. He’s pretty keen on the three and out first round playoff experience.
I always thought it funny that Chippy would tout any Cubs-Dodgers matchup as "the return of Jim Riggleman." Now we know it’s just because Riggs wouldn’t let the players be mean to him.
I love how the media are all pointing out that Bobby Cox won’t let his players get away with ripping the announcers. That’s because Bobby just does it himself.
My brothers’ names are Davidr and Darrelr.
B.C. may be right in saying that the Dodgers just need a split in the BUC. This Cardinal offense might not be so powerful in the cavernous Dodger Ditch.
I remember back in the day when it took a cannon shot to get one out of Busch. I’d say it’s one of the top 2-3 easiest places to homer in the NL now.
Teri Hatcher and the Latina chick looked good as I was flipping through the channels Sunday night.
I’m the best Cedeno since Andujar!
Dave B.,
They’re real and they’re spectacular!
There’s not enough hand lotion in the world!
Does anybody else remember the old ESPN show, "The Show?" and they did the thing on Mark Mulder and Eric Chavez living with Mike Venafro? And Mulder threw Venafro in the pool during the interview? Then the guys took turns hitting oranges into the neighbor’s yard with a nine iron?
Good times.
Bigger choke — The 2003 Cubs I played on or the 2004 A’s I played on?
Please discuss.
I may bleed Dodger blue, but my sweat smells like garlic.
My mom’s a stripper and she named me after her. Dad was one of nine guys at a bachelor party in 1978.
They just showed Fernando Valenzuela and Jon Miller felt the need to tell us that Nando is doing the "Spanish broadcast" for the Dodgers.
Really? I thought he’d be doing the French language version.
That’s funny, I thought I was born in 1975.
There’s a rocket shot to the second baseman! Up over and across! Oh, and the Battlin’ Buccos go down 1-2-3 in the first inning. After one it’s Pirates 2, Cubs 0.
Wait, no, that’s Chip. Miss him already.
Yes, they’re real…But they’re not that spectacular…
No, Kiko. I juss told you that so Albert Pujols would play wiff you.
Spend one afternoon doing some business and I see that ABC Sunday Night Babes has broken out on two Cubs sites. Where’s Monica Potter and Lara Croft? Uh… I mean, Rhona Mitra?
I can’t believe that’s my real name.
Given the positioning, that’s clearly a d cup.
Chuck, I’m right here!
![]("http://www.orlok.com/cyberbil/pearl2/graphics/vasroda.jpg"/)
The over/under parlay has already gotten me.
First replay of Ozzie Smith homer off Tom Niedenfeur (Top 7 – game one.)
First mention of Vince Coleman being eaten by the tarp (Top 7 – game one.)
First fellation of Cardinals fans as the "best in baseball" (Bottom 7 – game one.)
Guh.
I’m a one man wrecking crew.
By the way, what are the odds I’ll ever be able to spell Niedenfeur? Niedenfuer? Oh, who cares?
I have yet to tell you why the Cardinals ball girls are the best in baseball.
No front teeth!
I stated that these were the best fans in baseball in the bottom of the first.
Per the Celebrity Slueth Magazine (and curtesy of http://www.imdb.com)
Measurements: 34B-23-34
And when did Desipio become my grandfathers site? No cursing, no boobs….and hardly any Jim Tacco jokes. Boooooooring.
Oh, then I hit on one of the three in the parlay then.
Clearly, Edmonds needs to be hit here.
I’ll be making an appearance in the Red Sox clubhouse from three until 3:15 today.
That’s not who I was talking about. That’s Marge’s sister.
![]("http://leadingladymagazine.com/images/marge_simpson.JPG"/)
This is who I was talking about:
![]("http://www.cubeit.com/ctimes/rhona/photo019.jpg"/)
I am still talking about the Cubs…I stated that the 1984 Cubs are the only NL team to hit five homers in a post-season game. Then I preceded to say they still got beat in that series. I am a complete ass. In defense of Mike Shannon, he told me basically to shout the hell up.
I loooove Rhona Mitra. As Jim Rome says (although not in Chicago)…Phenominal.
I could go for a Rhona Mitra/Maura Tierney sandwhich……
I’m not on the playoff roster.
I am on BALCO’s payoff roster.
I just mentioned the Cubs again. Something about the pre-season hype being wrong.
I am on at 10:00 at night on tape…
…
…
…
…
…
delay.
Hmm, Jim Tracy may want to consider skipping his starting pitchers altogether and just pitching the bullpen guys for 9 innings.
Good call on the Rhona Mitra thing. I don’t think I’d ever leave the house.
Wayne Hagen’s a fag. I’d like to see him apply for the Cubs’ TV opening, then Desipio can sabotage him by pointing out his anti-Cubs obsession.
I think that Teri Hatcher nude scene was when she dropped some pounds in some weird weight-loss kick she was on in the mid- to late ’90s. I always liked her a little thicker. The boobs are always the first to go.
Didn’t Tom Niedenfuer marry one of the Landers sisters (hot ’80s blonde duo)?
Sandwich? Smorgassboard of ABC Sunday.
Mitra, Monka Potter, Hatch-job, Eva, and Lake Bell.
For desert? Aged, but still tasty Sure Thing Sheridan.
Ehhhh…Lake Bell has a hair lip.
Monica Potter = Julia Roberts – Pretty Woman – huge toofy smile.
I see the weird "professionally made fan signs" are back. I hate them.
That’s my hubby, Tom. My IMDB bio even has his infamy:
Her husband Tom used to be a relief pitcher for the Los Angeles Dodgers. He gave up the game-winning home run to Jack Clark, of St. Louis, during the 1985 National League Championship.
http://us.imdb.com/name/nm0484641/bio
Oh, and I’m 36C-25-35 1/2.
Joe Morgan is royalty. Only I can comprehend the depths of his genius.
Julia Roberts + Pretty Woman Body Double + visible rack – Danny Moder – holier than thou attitude + 18 oz peroxide + FHM layout = Monica Potter.
And, Lake may have a hair lip, but I’ve never noticed. They don’t make her wear much from her navel to her neck.
Why the hell are you looking at her lips?
You know, on Sundays I’m kinda partial to Kathryn Morris on CBS’ "Cold Case".
My advice to the Dodgers is to take cabs to East St. Louis, hit PT’s Sports Cabaret and Larry Flynt’s Showclub (two of the best strip clubs in the Midwest) and drink heavily. Bring your ticket stub and you get in free.
We’re left over from the DNC and the RNC.
We’re on over here.
https://www.desipio.com/archives/00000740.htm
They did a lot of close ups on Boston Legal on Sunday. I was John Kerry’ing on wether or not she was hot since the finale of The Practice. The similarity to Tom Selleck was too much Lorenzo Llamas said not. Especially when there are other, hotter women on that show. Including Rebecca De Mornay from last year.
Risky Biz Becky was cut in favor of Monka.
Becky was more my style, as she’s more my age demo. And I’d like to spend some time on the "L" with her. But Monka will do.
And if they want to show me Lake’s chest, who am I to complain?
"All the Dodgers have to do is win one at the Cake. If they do, they would probably have a 75% chance maybe of finishing it at Dodger Stadium…"
A 75% chance of MAYBE? WTF is that? Try to put more qualifiers on yours predictions/opinions.
I was qualifying the percentage there, not the prediction of "finishing it at Dodger Stadium".
Of course, the Dodgers will have to pitch much better in Game 2 to get that split at Busch. It says something if Jeff Weaver starting is seen as something positive for your team.
B.C., you can try to justify it all you like – "probably have a 75% chance maybe" is a completely worthless assertion.
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