Hey, it?s time for my semi-weekly (Occasionally you will get more, occasionally you will get less, and you?ll like it!) column to start here on Desipio.
First, in case you don?t know, Green Street is a major street in the campus area of Champaign-Urbana. So, that is the reason for the name. Which isn?t very original or anything. But I?m back at school (Boos rain down from the rafters), so let?s move on!
Last night, John Kerry won the Iowa caucuses. The big news, however, was that Howard Dean knew the names of at least half the states in the Union. Also, that was the most excited I have ever seen someone who has finished third in something. Whenever I finish third in something, like trying to get girlfriends, I?m ticked. All right, all right, I haven?t finished third in trying to get a girlfriend in a while (More like seventy-third), so we can just forget I said that and move on. YARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRH! (Thanks, Howard.)
Today?s Daily Illini student newspaper asks the Illinois basketball team to get tough. Being a journalist-in-training (And also in-employment, as previously detailed in my first column), I didn?t know we could tell athletes to be tough. And, the sad thing is, the author of that Daily Illini column is one of the better writers they have. Which, of course, is either sad or just flat out pathetic.
Speaking of Illinois? basketball team, the Illini face Wisconsin Saturday in Madison. The Kohl Center has been a graveyard for previous Illinois teams, and this team has not yet shown the consistent fundamental play that would equate to a win in Madison. All we can ask for is a good effort Saturday. Of course, talking about Saturday?s game will probably jinx Illinois? Wednesday home game against Penn State. My luck isn?t that good?
Jerry Angelo was sure talking about a lot of crap last week. If he doesn?t have a good draft this year, then we confirm that he is indeed full of crap. But, hey, it?s not like he would put Dave Veres into a one-run game in Game 7 of a National League Championship Series. Nobody is THAT stupid. Oh, wait???
Why is the Australian Open a major in tennis? Granted, nobody watches tennis anyway unless it involves Anna Kournikova, but why should Australia get the same amount of major tournaments as the United States? I mean, come on?
Rumors have it if the Cardinals can?t find an adequate left fielder, they might go after free-agent first baseman Travis Lee and then move Albert (Jim, My elbow hurts!) Pujols back to left field again. Cubs fans everywhere know we have the better Lee. (This is the place for that moran picture Andy.)
Andy: Sure thing, Brian
Finally, before I go, I must personally state my opposition to the idea proposed today on Foxnews.com.
The story says Britney Spears might appear in a movie alongside Tim Allen called ?In The Pink?. As I told Britney that one night in Vegas, there are two rules that must not be broken for me to stay with her. First, the fewer clothes the better, and second, the fewer movies the better. As I have said before, my luck isn?t that good. All right, all of this was just a joke. Except my opposition to another Britney Spears movie. That would just be awful.
Have a good afternoon, and check in here on Desipio later this week. I may, or may not, have another article.
Maybe I should proofread my articles so that I don’t start my article twice next time! ;)
Hey, I didn’t mind at all.
Hey, I didn’t mind at all.
echo
BC is like the Bears. He says we’re going to move on, and then we get more of the same.
I was expecting a joke about Britney being in a movie called "In The Pink". If that movie is true to the title, Tim Allen is one lucky drug dealer turned comedian.
That’s drug dealer-turned comedian-turned actor, bub. (insert grunting here)
I’m like Tim Allen. I build stuff and I have a criminal record.
Chris,
Britney didn’t last all that long "In the White" so how in the world can we expect her to survive "In the Pink"?
Is that what you were expecting?
See, I don’t take the obvious route for my humor… :)
Sorry. My bad on the double column starting. I’m not used to somebody who gives them thought and sends them in. Most of us just make them up as we go along.
It’s fixed now.
I’ve been having a difficult time sleeping at night. This article from BC has changed all that. Will be sleeping like a baby tonight!
I’ll try to work on getting those pictures next time Link Master.
The Austalian Golf Open, which I can’t even win, isn’t a Major, but the US Open and the US PGA are.
Same should apply to tennis.
What I’m more concerned about is the lack of pics, not the lack of jokes.
We get 2 references to Ms Kournikova and Ms Spears in the space of 3 paragraphs, but how many photos do we see? Not 3, not 2, not 1…
None!
Appearances to the mind are of four kinds. Things either are what they appear to be; or they neither are, nor appear to be; or they are, and do not appear to be; or they are not, and yet appear to be. Rightly to aim in all these cases is the wise man’s task. by free online poker