Confidence in the Cubs is not an easy thing to show. Just when you think they’ve gotten it all together they throw wheels spinning in four directions and crash into the pavement. So instead of confidence, let’s just toss a little blind faith at them and see how that works. What the hell else have we got to lose? Our dignity’s been gone for decades.

But we need to start by thanking the Bathtub Methamphetamine Brewery of Eastern Missouri for sweeping the Brewers this week, putting the Cubs on the doorstep of first place. Great job. Fine work. Now excuse us if we kick you squarely in the ass for four days and get ourselves ready for a little October baseball.

What’s that? You think you’re back in the race? No, I understand. You are. Until sometime around 4:30 p.m. on Monday when you get back on the haywagon for the ride back to Dogpatch.

The big news of the day, obviously, is the Cubs’ announcement that the Tribune has spent another $90 million of somebody else’s money and that Carlos Zambrano will be around to infuriate the Cardinals and the rest of the NL Central until no later than 2012. Why this took so long, nobody knows. But the important thing is that it’s done. Carlos and his erratic behavior will be on board for a long time. I, for one, could not be happier.

You add this good news to the all around good vibe coming off the team yesterday when they hopefully shook off two and a half weeks of suck with a 20 hit attack in a 12-4 win over the Reds, and you’ve got something.

The Cardinals have won five in a row, and an impressive 8 of 15 (wait, that’s not impressive), and were so excited about beating a Brewers’ team that is being fitted for a toe tag, that on the bus from Milwaukee to Chicago Jim Edmonds tea bagged the pitching staff to congratulate their incredible performances. Hey, any team holding opponents to a .272 average deserves a little nut cup. Bravo.

The Cardinals are of course full of feel-good stories. Like pitching flame-out Rick Ankiel who has only struck out 11 times in his 27 big league at bats this year. Or July acquisition Mike Maroth who got his ERA all the way down to 11 before the Cardinals forced him to pretend to be hurt so they could stash him on the DL. Don’t forget that ace pinch hitter Scott Speizio is in drug rehab and Josh Hancock is still dead drunk.

The Cardinals are nothing if not pure courage and inspiration. They have surged all the way to…uh…still two games under .500. They still suck. They’re not going to win anything, and as bad as Milwaukee is, the Cardinals are still looking at third place as their best bet finish.

The best thing about the Cardinals trip through Milwaukee is that it set up a wonderful little scene in Wrigley this weekend. They can hang out and get a front row seat to see the Cubs take over the Central.

We knew that eventually you assholes would come in handy.