It’s Friday and I should be relaxing and pounding Guinness in anticipation of the Bruce Springsteen special tonight on CBS. Instead, I’m finding myself all fired up about the latest missive from ESPN wonk Jayson Stark.
Basically, Jayson tried to build a team for less money total than Alex Rodriguez will average per season over the length of his contract ($25 million). One problem.
This is his team.
1B: Brad Fullmer ($1 million)
2B: Mark Loretta ($1.25 million)
SS: Mike Bordick ($1 million)
3B: Jose Hernandez ($1 million)
LF: Ron Gant ($350,000)
CF: Kenny Lofton (still unsigned)
RF: Reggie Sanders ($1 million)
C: (platoon) Joe Girardi ($725,000) and Greg Myers ($800,000)
DH: David Ortiz ($1.25 million)
Starting rotation: Kenny Rogers (still unsigned), Chuck Finley (still unsigned), Rick Helling ($1 million), John Thomson ($1.3 million), Jeff Suppan ($1 million)
Bullpen: Roberto Hernandez ($600,000), Rick White ($750,000), Steve Reed ($600,000), Juan Acevedo ($600,000), Tom Gordon ($1.4 million), Kerry Ligtenberg ($1.2 million), Jesse Orosco ($800,000)
Bench: Brian Daubach ($400,000), Ramon Martinez ($800,000), John Vander Wal ($750,000).
This team sucks ass. So what’s the point? This team wouldn’t win 65 games.
Look at that offense. You’ve got one guy who can’t hit lefties at all (Fullmer) one guy who can’t hit righties at all (Gant). Four guys who can’t hit anybody (Girardi, Myers, Loretta, Bordick). Kenny Lofton has nothing left. Jose Hernandez will strike out 180 times. David Ortiz could get hurt watching somebody else work out.
As for the pitching, it’s even worse than the hitting. Jeff Suppan’s had four good months in his career, Rick Helling might give up 75 homers in a full season, there’s a reason nobody’s signed Rogers or Finley. The bullpen has not one, not two, but three guys whose arms are going to fall off (Gordon, Ligtenberg and Orosco). Juan Acevedo?
In fact, the team’s bench is better than it’s regular lineup.
Basically, what this column is, is Stark going, “I’ll bet you could have a good team for under $25 million.” But then, he tried to do it and when he was proven horribly, horribly, wrong, he published it anyway.
Screw this.
Page Two has gratuitous Jennie Finch photos. Now all they need are some Heather Mitts shots.
But we can supply those.
Hey, lay off Jayson Stark. He kissed my ass when I was a Phillie and he said the other day that I had it right by not voting anyone in!
So act as to treat humanity, whether in thine own person or in that of any other, in every case as an end withal, never as means only. by texas holdem
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