I was reading through Bill Simmons’ annual column where he ranks NBA players in order of potential trade value and I thought, “Hey, it would be nice if former Cubs’ PR toady Chuck Wasserstrom would make one of these for Jim Hendry!” Chuck’s new job is to be the Cubs’ SABR expert. He’s the savant who I’m sure came up with the Corey-Neifi-Michael Barrett 1-2-8 batting order. So he can’t be trusted.

Like all things in life, if you want it done right, you have to do it yourself. So, here it goes.

The list has everybody on the Cubs’ 40 man roster as of today, plus six special guests who are in the system, have trangible trade value and should be on the list. The list is, as will be obvious ranked from most easily parted with to “Only trade if John Schuerholz threatens to send the photos to the media, again.”

The list does not include Dusty Baker, though several sites have wondered if you could trade him, or how much you could get back.

This is not a list of worst to best player, this is what their trade value is. Age, health and salary are factored in.

46. Chad Fox, RP — currently on 60 day DL
Since Chad’s arm imploded, he has the dubious honor of being the Cub with the least trade value. Were his arm healthy who knows how high he’d be on the list (not likely very high).

45. Ben Grieve, OF — currently in Iowa
You can make a pretty strong argument that Grieve should be on the Cubs’ roster, which would give them an actual lefty bat on the bench when they start Corey Patterson, Todd Hollandsworth and Todd Walker. But since Ben has cleared waivers twice in the last four months, it’s hard to imagine he’s just brimming with trade value.

44. Russ Rohlicek, RP — currently in Iowa
Currently toiling in the I-Cubs’ bullpen, Rohliceck has one thing going for him. He’s lefthanded. He’s got more than a few things going against him, not the least of which is that Will Ohman is actually better than he is. Rohlicek hadn’t allowed a run in five appearances before giving up two runs last night, so that’s nice. So is a pair of freshly ironed pants. They won’t get you much, either.

43. Jose Macias, IF
The first of the Cubs on the list who is on the 25-man roster, The Gremlin got a rare outfield start on Thursday and then got a start at third base on Friday. The Cubs…of course…lost both games. Macias’ main skill is that he can play every position on the field. His main weakness is that he plays none of the spots well. He also can bat from both sides of the plate. This would be more useful if he could actually hit from both sides of the plate. Alas, he can not.

42. Scott Williamson, RP– currently on 60 day DL
Another of Jim Hendry’s injury reclamations, Williamson is under contract to the Cubs this and next year with the hopes that he’ll recover from Tommy John Disease in time to be of use. His trade value is limited because he has to be put on your 40 man roster, and you have no idea if he’ll be any good ever again.

41. Angel Guzman, SP — currently on DL in the minors
The Cubs’ erstwhile pitching phenom has never been healthy enough to actually pitch in the big leagues. Scouts marvel at his ability, but he’s been hurt three straight seasons now and nobody’s going to trade for him until he gets off the DL. Maybe the Cubs could activate him, try and force him through a couple of starts and try and pawn him off on some sucker?

40. John Koronka, SP — currently in Iowa
Koronka’s trade value probably went down after his three-start stint in the big leagues. In his short stay he proved he’s little more than a salad tossing lefty with a “barely legal” pickoff move that’s so barely legal that he got called for two balks. He is a healthy lefty so his trade value is not non-existent, but he’s no Micah Bowie.

39. Mike Fontenot, 2B — currently in Iowa
Fontenot proved to be useful in his two brief appearances with the Cubs, as a pinch runner. Ooh, you know teams want to trade for pinch runners with average speed! Fontenot had a good year in the Baltimore system last year and is hitting .287 with no power at Iowa this year. He projects as a major league backup infielder. Kind of like Jamey Carroll with better teeth.

38. Richard Lewis, 2B — currently in Iowa
Lewis was terrific at AA West Tenn last year and it was hoped that he’d salvage the Juan Cruz trade by becoming a late blooming second baseman. He struggled early on in Iowa and was farmed out to the lower levels of the system. He returned to the I-Cubs last night and had an unsuccessful pinch hit attempt. Lewis’ progress from last season was slowed when he broke his leg in the last game of the season. His ceiling is probably a little higher than Fontenot, so he edges him out on the list.

37. Bobby Brownlie, SP — currently in Iowa — not on 40 man roster
The first of our six additions to the list, Brownlie’s on the list, not because he’s pitched well enough to be attractive in trade, but because his name always comes up in the rumors. He’s more famous than good, owed largely to a very good career at Rutgers University. He fell to the Cubs in the 2003 draft, largely because he had a sore shoulder and Scott Boras for an agent. When healthy he’s shown that his plus-curveball is useful, but when the shoulder acts up the velocity drops on his fastball and he becomes a one-pitch, pitcher.

36. Mike Remlinger, RP
A lefty who can’t get out lefties should have no trade value, but because Remlinger’s been around the block and because his change up can still be befuddling to righties, he has some, if not much, trade value. The Cubs will have to pick up most of his remaining salary, but because he’s in the last year of his contract and because bullpens are a crap shoot, somebody would trade for him. They just wouldn’t trade much.

35. Geovany Soto, C, currently in Iowa
Soto had to be placed on the 40-man roster to avoid the Rule V draft, and at the time the Cubs were criticized for using spots for Soto and Ronny Cedeno and losing Andy Sisco and (for a while) Luke Hagerty. Soto hit .271 last year in AA and is hitting slightly better than that at Iowa. He’s only 22, and is the cousin of former Cubs’ utility infielder Ramon Martinez. However the Cubs have higher hopes for a 2004 draft pick, Mark Reed, the little brother of Mariners’ outfielder Jeremy Reed. Couple that with Michael Barrett’s three-year contract and Geovany is expendable.

34. David Kelton, OF — currently in Iowa — not on 40 man roster
Kelton had a lot more value when he was still a third baseman, but his athleticism has at least given him a shot at making it in the outfield. Still only 25, Kelton has a chance, though he hasn’t developed the power the Cubs once though he would (only 19 homers last year, and eight so far this season) and his ability to get on base (.330 this year) is still lacking. He’s a righthanded hitting outfielder who is out of options, which limits his value considerably.

33. Nomar Garciaparra, SS — currently on 60-day DL
Only the threat of a late season comeback gives Nomar any trade value at all. He’s recovering from a fully torn groin muscle, which will at best limit his mobility at short and at worst could cause him to be forced to move to a new position. He is not under contract for 2006, though it is likely that he will re-up for the Cubs in the offseason, further clouding the future of Ronny Cedeno.

32. Jon “Iceman” Leicester, RP — currently in Iowa
He looked great for three months in 2004, making his debut in a extra innings extravaganza in Anaheim (the immortal Chip Caray “Arby’s” game), but the wheels fell of Leicester in September of 2004 and haven’t been put on yet. He’s at Iowa starting, and trying to earn another shot in the Cubs’ bullpen. He has an above average fastball, though it’s not as explosive as Iowa teammate Todd Wellemeyer’s.

31. Will Ohman, RP
Ohman seems to have become the Cubs’ LOOGY, which is a role, though not one you want in your first full season in the big leagues. He’s had countless arm injuries (I’m sure he could count them, I just don’t care to) and can be prone to losing sight of home plate for innings at a time. The Cubs have had worse lefty relievers in the recent past. Though, that’s not exactly saying a whole lot for Will.

30. Neifi Perez, SS
Let’s just say that had Nomar merely pulled his groin, Neifi would be a hero. Had Nomar been out six weeks, Neifi’s play at short would have garnered him much deserved praise. But instead, Nomar is out for three months (and counting) and Neifi’s numbers are all regressing back to what his history showed he’d put up, and that’s bad. He is a useful utility player, but away from Coors Field he’s never really had any value as a starter.

29. Henry Blanco, C
You laugh, that Hank is 29th on the list, but he does have value. The Cubs’ two best pitchers prefer throwing to him, and he’s still astonishingly proficient at throwing out basestealers. He can not hit, at all. Which is a shame because were he even a slightly below-average hitter he’d be very useful. As amazing as it seems, the active player with the lowest career batting average among guys with at least 1000 at bats, is hitting fifty points below that already horrifically low number. Yikes.