Week 11: Go Fuck Yourself, San Diego.

[Internet Apex]

Also, Patrick Mannelly is out for the season.  DISTRACTIONS ARE PILING UP FOR ROBBIE GOULD

Can they just slot in Tyler Clutts at QB, long snapper, right tackle and left guard?

Probably not. The 53-Tyler Clutts roster is still in the beta stage. In simulations it's beating the living shit out of the Dane Sansabelter model. Since neither team can catch a pass it's pretty much a running-only game. Advantage: Clutts's.

[SKO]

Per Zach Zaidman, Jay will have surgery tomorrow, and the team hopes to have him back before the end of the season.

Zaidman is the one guy who covers the team who isn't prone to gloom and doom. On the other hand, he's also prone to swallowing a lot of the bullshit that comes from Halas hall. So anyway, I'm going to kill myself. Let me know if things turn out OK with Hanie. I'll find a way back.

So, do I need another man date for the 20th then? Or should I ask one of my drama queens. Please let me know.

No we're good. I've talked myself off the ledge. Jay's going to be back in time for the playoffs, and I remembered that this is a Lovie Smith team. They know how to win even if they're getting 176 yards per game from their passing game. I'd take Hanie over Tebow, Palko, Tarvaris Jackson, and probably Ponder. It'll be alright. Caleb's gonna earn himself the next Kolb/Cassell 60 mildo contract for a desperate team and you and I will exchange some shirtless hugs after he throws a solitary TD pass to Tyler Clutts in a 17-3 Bears win over the Chickens. Jay will return the next week and end Green Bay's shot at perfection. I have spoken.

[Internet Apex]

Per Zach Zaidman, Jay will have surgery tomorrow, and the team hopes to have him back before the end of the season.

Zaidman is the one guy who covers the team who isn't prone to gloom and doom. On the other hand, he's also prone to swallowing a lot of the bullshit that comes from Halas hall. So anyway, I'm going to kill myself. Let me know if things turn out OK with Hanie. I'll find a way back.

So, do I need another man date for the 20th then? Or should I ask one of my drama queens. Please let me know.

No we're good. I've talked myself off the ledge. Jay's going to be back in time for the playoffs, and I remembered that this is a Lovie Smith team. They know how to win even if they're getting 176 yards per game from their passing game. I'd take Hanie over Tebow, Palko, Tarvaris Jackson, and probably Ponder. It'll be alright. Caleb's gonna earn himself the next Kolb/Cassell 60 mildo contract for a desperate team and you and I will exchange some shirtless hugs after he throws a solitary TD pass to Tyler Clutts in a 17-3 Bears win over the Chickens. Jay will return the next week and end Green Bay's shot at perfection. I have spoken.

:)

[PenPho]

Per Zach Zaidman, Jay will have surgery tomorrow, and the team hopes to have him back before the end of the season.

Zaidman is the one guy who covers the team who isn't prone to gloom and doom. On the other hand, he's also prone to swallowing a lot of the bullshit that comes from Halas hall. So anyway, I'm going to kill myself. Let me know if things turn out OK with Hanie. I'll find a way back.

So, do I need another man date for the 20th then? Or should I ask one of my drama queens. Please let me know.

No we're good. I've talked myself off the ledge. Jay's going to be back in time for the playoffs, and I remembered that this is a Lovie Smith team. They know how to win even if they're getting 176 yards per game from their passing game. I'd take Hanie over Tebow, Palko, Tarvaris Jackson, Painter, Gabbert, Skelton, McCoy, Grossman, and probably Ponder. It'll be alright. Caleb's gonna earn himself the next Kolb/Cassell 60 mildo contract for a desperate team and you and I will exchange some shirtless hugs after he throws a solitary TD pass to Tyler Clutts in a 17-3 Bears win over the Chickens. Jay will return the next week and end Green Bay's shot at perfection. I have spoken.

Luck, Landry, RG3, Barkley'd

[SKO]

Per Zach Zaidman, Jay will have surgery tomorrow, and the team hopes to have him back before the end of the season.

Zaidman is the one guy who covers the team who isn't prone to gloom and doom. On the other hand, he's also prone to swallowing a lot of the bullshit that comes from Halas hall. So anyway, I'm going to kill myself. Let me know if things turn out OK with Hanie. I'll find a way back.

So, do I need another man date for the 20th then? Or should I ask one of my drama queens. Please let me know.

No we're good. I've talked myself off the ledge. Jay's going to be back in time for the playoffs, and I remembered that this is a Lovie Smith team. They know how to win even if they're getting 176 yards per game from their passing game. I'd take Hanie over Tebow, Palko, Tarvaris Jackson, and probably Ponder. It'll be alright. Caleb's gonna earn himself the next Kolb/Cassell 60 mildo contract for a desperate team and you and I will exchange some shirtless hugs after he throws a solitary TD pass to Tyler Clutts in a 17-3 Bears win over the Chickens. Jay will return the next week and end Green Bay's shot at perfection. I have spoken.

:)

They need a sinister hybrid of the Orton/Cutler offense. All of the nice screens and quick tosses to Matt Spaeth you can possibly handle, the good ole "fake it to the RB, have everyone follow Kellen Davis, and throw it to Spaeth in the end zone play," more quick slants than Mark Sanchez could complete in a fevered dream, and then some nice bootlegs and rollouts when you wanna give Caleb a chance to get the safeties to play off the line of scrimmage. 

[PenPho]

Per Zach Zaidman, Jay will have surgery tomorrow, and the team hopes to have him back before the end of the season.

Zaidman is the one guy who covers the team who isn't prone to gloom and doom. On the other hand, he's also prone to swallowing a lot of the bullshit that comes from Halas hall. So anyway, I'm going to kill myself. Let me know if things turn out OK with Hanie. I'll find a way back.

So, do I need another man date for the 20th then? Or should I ask one of my drama queens. Please let me know.

No we're good. I've talked myself off the ledge. Jay's going to be back in time for the playoffs, and I remembered that this is a Lovie Smith team. They know how to win even if they're getting 176 yards per game from their passing game. I'd take Hanie over Tebow, Palko, Tarvaris Jackson, and probably Ponder. It'll be alright. Caleb's gonna earn himself the next Kolb/Cassell 60 mildo contract for a desperate team and you and I will exchange some shirtless hugs after he throws a solitary TD pass to Tyler Clutts in a 17-3 Bears win over the Chickens. Jay will return the next week and end Green Bay's shot at perfection. I have spoken.

:)

They need a sinister hybrid of the Orton/Cutler offense. All of the nice screens and quick tosses to Matt Spaeth you can possibly handle, the good ole "fake it to the RB, have everyone follow Kellen Davis, and throw it to Spaeth in the end zone play," more quick slants than Mark Sanchez could complete in a fevered dream, and then some nice bootlegs and rollouts when you wanna give Caleb a chance to get the safeties to play off the line of scrimmage. 

So basically, they should just watch Houston with Leinart and do the same thing.

[Slaky]

Also, Patrick Mannelly is out for the season.  DISTRACTIONS ARE PILING UP FOR ROBBIE GOULD

Can they just slot in Tyler Clutts at QB, long snapper, right tackle and left guard?

Probably not. The 53-Tyler Clutts roster is still in the beta stage. In simulations it's beating the living shit out of the Dane Sansabelter model. Since neither team can catch a pass it's pretty much a running-only game. Advantage: Clutts's.

Why can't Tyler Clutts be the next John Kuhn?

(You mean be spectacularly average at football? He can!)

[morpheus]

Please, no.

[BBM]

Please, no.

[Brownie]

Please, no.

Why not? He wants to come here and be Jay's valet? Honestly, Steve Fuller was a much, much shittier insurance policy. So was Jeff Hostetler (for Phil Simms). So was Mark Rypien (for Jay Schroeder). So was Trent Dilfer.

[Internet Apex]

Please, no.

Why not? He wants to come here and be Jay's valet? Honestly, Steve Fuller was a much, much shittier insurance policy. So was Jeff Hostetler (for Phil Simms). So was Mark Rypien (for Jay Schroeder). So was Trent Dilfer.

Yeah, they need a veteran backup stat. This is perfect news. Please, yes.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Please, no.

Why not? He wants to come here and be Jay's valet? Honestly, Steve Fuller was a much, much shittier insurance policy. So was Jeff Hostetler (for Phil Simms). So was Mark Rypien (for Jay Schroeder). So was Trent Dilfer.

Yeah, they need a veteran backup stat. This is perfect news. Please, yes.

Thirded.  If your big concern is that Meatball Nation might start clamoring for the Neckbeard to start, well, just live with it.  He won't be.  In the meantime, not a horrible pickup.

[Slaky]

Please, no.

Why not? He wants to come here and be Jay's valet? Honestly, Steve Fuller was a much, much shittier insurance policy. So was Jeff Hostetler (for Phil Simms). So was Mark Rypien (for Jay Schroeder). So was Trent Dilfer.

Yeah, they need a veteran backup stat. This is perfect news. Please, yes.

Thirded.  If your big concern is that Meatball Nation might start clamoring for the Neckbeard to start, well, just live with it.  He won't be.  In the meantime, not a horrible pickup.

FOX's Jake Laser says that the Chiefs and Bears will claim him - the Chiefs have higher priority so it looks like he's going to KC. Which would ruin my dream of watching the Bears end Tyler Palko's life.

[Internet Apex]

Please, no.

Why not? He wants to come here and be Jay's valet? Honestly, Steve Fuller was a much, much shittier insurance policy. So was Jeff Hostetler (for Phil Simms). So was Mark Rypien (for Jay Schroeder). So was Trent Dilfer.

Yeah, they need a veteran backup stat. This is perfect news. Please, yes.

Thirded.  If your big concern is that Meatball Nation might start clamoring for the Neckbeard to start, well, just live with it.  He won't be.  In the meantime, not a horrible pickup.

FOX's Jake Laser says that the Chiefs and Bears will claim him - the Chiefs have higher priority so it looks like he's going to KC. Which would ruin my dream of watching the Bears end Tyler Palko's life.

Stupid fucking Chiefs.

[SKO]

Please, no.

Why not? He wants to come here and be Jay's valet? Honestly, Steve Fuller was a much, much shittier insurance policy. So was Jeff Hostetler (for Phil Simms). So was Mark Rypien (for Jay Schroeder). So was Trent Dilfer.

Yeah, they need a veteran backup stat. This is perfect news. Please, yes.

Thirded.  If your big concern is that Meatball Nation might start clamoring for the Neckbeard to start, well, just live with it.  He won't be.  In the meantime, not a horrible pickup.

FOX's Jake Laser says that the Chiefs and Bears will claim him - the Chiefs have higher priority so it looks like he's going to KC. Which would ruin my dream of watching the Bears end Tyler Palko's life.

Stupid fucking Chiefs.

Agreed. Stupid Chiefs. As for Morph's comments, we're headed for meatball outcry regardless. Hanie can probably steer this ship long enough to get Jay back in time for the playoffs, and we all know they're going to jump on Hanie for MANAGIN DA GAME, mY FRENT, but for once, I don't think it matters, because the entire organization is committed to Cutler financially and because I think even they are smart enough to know who their guy is. If Hanie goes down or falters, I'd sure as hell rather have Orton standing behind him than fucking Nathan Enderle.