Today’s GameCast brought to you by:
Pitching matchup:
Braves: Tim Hudson, 4-3, 3.95 ERA
Cubs: The Lawnmower, 3-2, 3.53 ERA
Lineups
Braves
Marcus Giles, 2b
Edgar Rentererror, ss
Larry Wayne Jones, 3b
Andruw, cf
Adam LaRoche, 1b
Jeff Francouer, rf (Watch, he’ll walk like 14 times this weekend.)
Ryan Langerhans, lf
Todd Pratt, c
Tim Hudson, p
Cubs
Unlucky Pierre, cf
Neifi?, 2b
Disgusted Bat Flip, 1b
Michael “10 days in the hole” Barrett, c
Jock, rf
E-ramis, 3b
Freddie Bynum, lf (You have to be shitting me.)
Ron Ce, ss
Carlos, p
I’ve had enough of this shit. Get me Dusty on the phone, NOW!
Freddy Bynum and Neifi get to start and I am sent to the minors???????? Maybe I should have gotten on me knees in Dusty’s Office when he asked.
What the F*CK was THAT?
Lawnmower? That’s what I should be pushing instead of pitching.
Does anyone know why we don’t start Berut at first and catch Hank? Is it because we don’t have Macias on the bench?
How bad has it gotten that I am pissed off that Tony Womack isnt playing??
Warning! Jack! The computer is showing that this lineup could be so bad it may actually implode, and create a swirling vortex of negative energy putting everyone at Wrigley Field at risk.
I’m just keepin’ left warm for my boy, Tony Dubs. He should be here any day now.
you wanna go hang at Hi Tops?
Actually Carlos, your people should continue doing the jobs white Americans don’t seem to want to do, like general manage the Cubs for instance.
Has MacPhail been fired yet? He took a beating in the press. Maybe that’ll instead earn him a promotion while Crane Kenney tees up on #1.
Hey, Jacque made a nice catch. BOOOOOOOOOO!
I will find a way to walk Jeff Franceour. I know it can be done.
bases loaded, no hitter in effect.
10 Days in the Hole was what John Travolta and I called our vacation together.
I’m getting bloated.
Wow. 30 of me in the first inning by Carlos, and it isn’t even over yet.
I knew I could do it.
(points to the sky)
Imagine the pressure on me, knowing that I have to throw a perfect game and even if I do, nine or ten innings might go by without my offense scoring a single run. Then I’ll get taken down for Super Novoa and we will lose. This is no way to pitch. So if I walk 6 or 7 guys today, I blame the offense. Also, I would like to thank my English teacher for helping me type this.
i’m not watching the game, but it seems like Carlos might be a little wild today, no?
Zambrano’s 2 to 1 ahead of me.
still got a no hitter going female doggies
Hey Carlos, don’t point at me after that shit.
You can thank me for getting out of that, Carlos. Strike No. 2 to Langerhans was 14 inches outside. Now don’t kill me.
Carlos threw 37 pitches. I bet Hudson gets out of the bottom half with just 8.
What fraction of Carlos’s pitches will I throw in the first inning? 1/2? 1/3? 1/4?
Will someone please buy me a hat that fits?
What is it about Neifi that makes Baker want to bat him 2nd? Did he learn nothing from last year? Hendry should be calling the dugout right now and firing him.
I hit .500 in AAA, in 15 at bats, whoop de fucking doo.
That was a scrappy popout.
As you long as you put it on straight, #27.
How do you hit .500 in 15 at bats?
.4666666666666666666666 Einstein, ok, I wasn’t being literal.
11 pitches, bitches
The IMMORTAL Todd Pratt. How can you take a team serious that plays Todd Pratt?
Jock Jones can’t even flip the ball in to the stands right.
Well, you can go on the radio and tell the fans that the season isn’t over yet and everything will be fine when your injured players get back and that really, the problem is we don’t have any clutch hitting. Then your manager can start Neifi Perez and Freddy Bynum the next day. What were we talking about?
Jacque Jones tried to throw the ball into the stands after catching the last out but threw it straight up instead. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Actually comes true. No team sticks to being horrific and predictably bad like the Cubs.
6 pitches, Timmy. Your move.
(Yes, I know. You’ll pitch 9 innings and I’ll be out in the 5th, but cut me some slack, hombre. Look at my team).
The Cubs have never been able to cope with me. Ever.
I love slipping in Tom Petty Quotes.
somebody bring me my inhalier, (and some pacakes) stat!
Getting my swing back, beeches.
Let me guess….Free Fallin’?
Am I seriously batting behind A-Ram?
This should be our slogan for the year.
Gee, a weak grounder to the pitcher, I couldn’t have done that. I’m not lefthanded.
is Bynum even on this team? Gawd…
Hey! There’s a poster of me behind home plate! Estoy muy guapo!
16 pitches in 2 innings. I have settled down.
Bynum is on the team so Murton can watch 24 in the clubhouse during sunny days. Redheads burn easily.
Good think I got neifi in the 2 hole to lay down a sac bunt with 2 outs.
how did Lucky get a bunt all the way to center?
How sad is it that I don’t want our #1 hitter to attempt a stolen base and take the chance of being the 3rd out so that our #2 hitter doesn’t start off the next inning.
Geez, this is depressing. It’s like we have two bottoms to this order and one just happens to be at the top.
yup, that’s right, I’m squaring to bunt with 2 outs.
Len:
Beats slipping in dogshit.
My single was sort of to center field. I somehow managed to hit a line drive that got through the infield, but died in the grass 20 feet behind second base.
I’d rather watch Becker right now. Can we see Becker? Please?
Despite a rough inning here or there. I am really good. Please trade me, ASAP.
wait wait wait… he got a single on a ball he hit by SWINGING the bat? sacre bleu!
Yep dudes, #52 is right. You see, I’ve learned something this year. My racism had blinded me. I always that a cracker is a cracker, that they all held up the same in the hot sun (poorly). I’ve learned that that’s not true. I now know that red-headed crackers take the heat even worse than normal lilly white crackers. I’ll never be racist again.
Sacrifice bunt attempts from cleanup hitters. Feel the baseball excitement!
Wow… calling for the bunt, in a 1-0 game with the #4 hitter up.
AM I REALLY BUNTING????
Stop booing me, I did good! Eh, fine. Screw you too Cubs fans.
Time to kill this rally.
Nice work man.
FFFB: Living up to the “hype” since 2006
Why am I not excited?
Is this the best start ever that began with 5 walks in the 1st inning?
I still got the no hitter going female doggies.
Tune in to the Cubs game! You just missed a promo for 24. It was awesome.
Three AB’s.
Five pitches.
Three outs.
That’s efficiency, bitches!
Neifi, you call that efficiency? I expect at least one GIDP.
Hey! You a Metal Gear fan!? Calorie Mate!
Someone has to get on base in front of me first.
Whoever said the actual word (#70) should be beaten with Chip Caray’s clown shoes.
Dingers!
Uh oh, Murt will never see the starting lineup again.
Look at freddie my RBI machine.
A white guy definitely could not have done that.
See Dudes, FFFB hit a homer. I think we found our new cleanup hitter.
You know its unrequited and unfair hatred when you feel ill after a guy you hate hits a homer.
Tomorrow’s Linupe
Pierre CF
Tony 2B
Neifi SS
Bynum LF
Mabry 1B
Jones RF
Blanco C
Ramirez 3B
Marshall P
feel my power femae doggies.
All hail the slamma from Alabama!
Even if I’m really from North Carolina
See I do more then give dusty sexual favors.
You can call me FFFBBB
No chance I make it 9 innings today. 115+ pitches already
Will Carlos throw me today?
Do all Desipio acronyms have to have a B and and F in them? This is confusing. DFB DBF FFB FFFBBB
JJP!
Woo hoo! Give me the ball for the 8th!!
1 Guess
There goes the nono, which a–hole jinxed it up there.
I just broke up the no-hitter.
Wilson F’n Betemit? THE Wilson F’n Betemit?
Im a defensive superstar.
Do I *have* to pitch today, coach? Huh?
Hey Gang. It’s howry doody time.
Not if I bring in Novoa, he’s always good for a few innings of batting practice.
Jacque dropped that because they don’t have sun in the metrodome.
Hey, what up with that. Why does Howry get to play? It’s my job to let in inherited runners.
How will Jock die after this inning? I say Carlos, in the tunnel, with the fungo bat.
Jacque did me a favor.
Dustly would have kept me in for 200 pitches just to get the no hitter.
Ronny, you may wanna work on your pronunciation of the word Peanuts. Peanits is probably not the way to gor.
Admit it, boys. You miss having these Gamecasts and then checking back in at the message board to see that I’ve made 36 consecutive posts about the game.
Too bad Betemit broke up hte no-hitter. Just don’t break up my one-hitter.
We miss being enlightened about dolphins.
Web gem.
Hey look at me, I got a hit, raised my BA, I’m almost at the Menodza line.
Jock really dropped a fly ball? I actually, truly feel bad for him. I’m not kidding. I feel bad for a guy that made more money to drop that fly ball than I will make this fiscal year.
We’re losing to this team? We will now slit our wrists and do push ups in alcohol.
Yeah, #107. About as much as they miss me.
I’m about as missed as you two (107 and 114)
Am I the worst defensive pitcher ever?
So, how on earth does a runner score from 3rd on a ground ball to the pitcher? Gameday doesn’t say things like “Eyre trips over own stomach roll while fielding…”
FUCK YOU 115!
I was trying to turn a 1-6-3 DP, but I made a terrible throw to second base that almost went into center field. Neifi saved me dude. He made a leaping grab, but could not turn the DP.
#117 – Eyre threw the ball high to Neifi at second who had to jump to catch the ball, then land on second base just to get the first out. Needless to say, his throw to first was late.
What the FUCK was THAT?
Santo just told Hughes that this pitcher is so big that if he was on the golf course putting, he’d have to do it by memory. Didn’t someone tell Eyre to get off the mound and in to the dugout after the 3rd out?
Here i come ladies and gents!
HEY ASSHOLES! REMEMBER ME?
I like my chances.
This will be two straight days without a loss. As that one dude’s avatar says, “Extend me.”
Define irony: I bitch about Chip Carray in Chicago, I go back to Atlanta and the son of a bitch follows me here. Is that some fucked up shit or what? Almost as fucked up as my pitching…
he cant swing the bat with bruised ribs……why did i do that???
You don’t have much else on the bench?
Hi Leo!
I suck balls today.
NOT so fast #126
After all, Dusty, Remlinger is a LOOGY, right? At least you thought so. Why not put Murt up there in that situation?
Why don’t I put Murton up there? He’s white. He can’t play in the sun.
You can next expect Murton to start in September when the kids get their chance to play.
Hmmmm…..
i do not want to save this game
Rising.
Remember when I was the balls.
What is GOING ON?
Remember when you all thought I was a solid closer?
I want to make sure you get a bottom of the ninth. Everyone gets extra baseball! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Dempster has a 2 run save under his belt by way of me before
that has to be it for me
here we go again………seattle here i come
I’m over here! No… no… over here! yooohooo! Here I am!
Wow.
Fucking wow.
The Cubs really do invent new ways to lose don’t they?
We just gave up on the season!
Un-fucking-believable. Are you SHITTING me? Two runs score on a sac fly? GEEZ!
Thy name is Jaque and Neifi costing Dusty his job…
oops
Much appreciate dif someone illustrates th following.
“Andruw Jones out on a sacrifice fly to right fielder Jacque Jones. Brayan Pena scores. Marcus Giles scores. Edgar Renteria to 3rd. Missed catch error by second baseman Neifi Perez. Throwing error by second baseman Neifi Perez. ”
BTW I’m not even pulling for the Cubs. I’m pulling for an apocaplyse. I have Zambrano on my roto team and I’m not even that bothered. Bring on the bloodhsed. I’m beyond feeling pain anyway.
We just showed a pissed off fan heckling the Cubs. Wonder what he had to say.
according to GameCast, Neifi! committed 2 errors in one play. what happened?
I really, REALLY, after 32 years of being a CUB fan might be done. I can’t take any more of this.
this was part of my plan all along…….have neifi blow the game…get me fired……and now i can cash my ticket to seattle
Now THAT’s how you follow up making two errors to cost your team the ballgame. Weakly flail and fail at making a stabbing bunt.
Wow……..that’s a hell of a greeting Wrigley gave to Neifi to start the bottom of the inning.
Fuck you Neifi.
Deep fly ball. Neifi Botches the relay catch, which sends Giles towards home. He then botches the throw.
Bases loaded, Jones hits a deep fly to the warning track. Jones catches it and tosses it in to Neifi, who nonchalantly tries to catch it in shallow right. The ball gets away from him by a few feet and Giles never stops running. Neifi throws it 10 feet over Barrett’s head and Giles is safe. Unbelievable.
in spring training dusty said i was bad enough to start at second…..and look here i am!!
Fuck you Dusty.
Sorry guys, but I was Dusty’s MVP last year!
Thanks. I hate to be macabre, but I’m enjoying this. Sorry if that bothers any other die-hards, but I can’t help it. Crash ‘n’ Burn baby. Crash. And. Burn.
Do you think this one will be in single digits?
S’up fellas. So we’re gonna be seeing a lot more of each other from here on out I guess….
Thanks for the “W”. It’s not like you’ve had experience stranding runners on third w/fewer than one out. No really. That kind of experience makes you guys experts, and I was the beneficiary of that expertise today. thank you.
I’m with you, Mike. There’s something disgustingly enjoyable about this whole thing.
I’m with you, Mike. There’s something disgustingly enjoyable about this whole thing.
So enjoyable I had to post twice?
I’m palpable.
Me 3, Mike and TG
I turn on the game in the seventh, and am shocked to find the Cubs ahead, and I mistakenly think they have a good shot to win this one. Then Dempster can’t get anyone out, Perez makes TWO(!) errors on one play, allowing the go-ahead run to score. You would think that they had exhausted every possible way to lose, and then Neifi comes along. Blow this sorry excuse for a team up and start over.
Well we sat in left field today and watched Neifi loaf after a relay throw as a hungrier, more determined Atlanta team outhustled the Cubs (once again) to victory.
It’s really too bad. A tough way to lose. Really. But it was warm out there, and sunny, and it reminded me of why we come out there in the first place.
It’ll happen for us soon, Cub fans. Keep the faith.
Where was Tony Womack? Did he not have enough time to take the Tribune bicycle from Iowa to the ballpark today?
To stick it further up your asses I’m letting my 198 hitting, no catching, no throwing 2005 MVP lead off the ninth. I know, I know I’ve got Murton,
JHJr, I’ve even got Wood & GLemon Rusch hitting better than nutless perez, but ****you. What am I going to do bench Neifi? After all he’s done?
If my wife treated me this way I’d kick the bitch out.
.198 does speak volumes. Gotta go with the Everything man. What a doofus. Kick his ass out of here and bring in Crazy Uncle Lou.
god……i could go for a cold neifi right now!
How could you not want me here? After all I have done? Who was Dusty’s 2005 MVP? Not Lee… ME! Neifi!
B&B on WSCR are supposedly reporting that Dusty’s porstgame presser got cut short by the Cubs’ PR… anyone else hear this?
That’s “postgame”
ESTO YA FUE DEMASIADO! NO PUEDE SER QUE
ESTE CABRON CONTINUE SIENDO EL MANAGER!
HAY QUE CORRERLOS A TODOS.. BOLA DE
HUEVONES… ES INCREIBLE QUE SE PIERDA DE
ESTA FORMA! YA NO VAYAN AL PINCHE ESTADIO!
VAMOS A ENSEÑARLE A LOS DE ARRIBA QUE NO
ESTAMOS DE ACUERDO CON ESTE MUGRERO.
NO TIENEN VERGUENZA. Y SE DICEN PROFESIONALES.
YA BASTA DE TANTA MIERDA.
HAY SOLO 2 O 3 QUE SE SALVAN, LOS DEMAS:
FUERA! FUERA! FUERA! FUERA! FUERA!
SON UNA VERGUENZA!
LES FALTAN PANTALONES. YA LARGUENSE!!!
FUERA!
FUERA!
FUERA!
On the Tenth Inning show, the Moustache was saying you can’t blame Baker if veterans aren’t making plays… what is the manager’s job again? Who is running these veterans out the day after day, with the same result? Who knew having your soul crushed could be so exhausting?
I gotta agree with those of you who are getting a perverse enjoyment out of this. I am torn between staying home tomorrow and going and booing until I can’t boo anymore.
This is what you guys get for wanting me fired, I’ll play Neifi everyday if I want. Fuck the Cubs fans. I will just do enough to make this team lose without being to obvious. Muhahahahahahhhaha
Today’s hit list:
Dusty
Neifi
JP
Dumpster
Boom Boom Bynum (**** the home run you’re still Dusty’s love child)
Dusty
Neifi
Dusty
is a joke
any self-respecting organization would cut neifi today. THAT’S the way to set an example that lackadaisical play will not be tolerated.
Did the ultimate players manager Dusty Baker let Neifi lead off the 9th just to subject him to more boos?
That would be the only reason to let a .198 hitter lead off the 9th when facing a one run deficit.
Right?
….was the disgust in Brenly’s voice during the delay in play after Neifi’s double error fiasco.
Play was halted because Neifi was yelling at the umpire, for reasons unknown.
Brenly’s reaction: “JUST PLAY THE GAME.” Then silence.
Pure disgust.
Classic.
….there’s 4 more months of fun left!