You’ll have to excuse Jim Hendry if he’s a little confused these days. After spending most of April and all of May to this point trying to patiently explain to us that he couldn’t fill the gaping hole left by the injury to Derrek Lee, because nobody makes trades in April or May, he suffered a few dizzy spells when he saw that in back-to-back days, the Mets traded for two starting pitchers. In May.
Hendry immediately called the league office to report the Mets, only to find that–what do you know?–there’s no actual rule prohibiting player exchanges before the solciste. Who knew?
So then Jim did what he always does in times like this. He called up Paul Sullivan and yelled at him.
Hey, everybody needs a hobby.
Granted, the two starting pitchers the Mets traded for have ERAs that if added together rival the gross national product of Ghana. But once again Omar Minaya spends his days making moves, while Jim Hendry and Andy MacPhail spend them talking about how great it would be to actually do something. Then they take off their shirts, take a nap and hope they can wake up in time to see most of Oprah.
Hey, I’m not saying which approach is right. I’m just putting it out there.
That’s not all that Jim and Andy do (and now seems like a good time to point out to my dad that he gave his only sons the same names as Moron #1 and Moron #2 have), I’m sure they spend a couple of hours each day berating the clubbie who brings them their lunch (pesto for Andy, a side of beef for Jim), and of course there’s all that time trying to pick the perfect moment to crush every Cubs fans’ spirit with news that the Dustbuster has been re-signed for another four year reign of terror.
Actually, come to think of it, my dad probably enjoys that my brother and I share first names with Hendry and MacPhail, that way when he complains to my mom that “Neither Andy or Jim knows s#$^, about anything,” it’s multipurpose.
What needs to pointed out, though, is that when you hear Cubs players and their fraud of a manager and Jim and Andy talk about how this team could be “just like Houston last year.” They don’t mean the 2005 Astros who started 15-30 then went to the World Series. They mean the Houston Texans, who tanked enough games to get the first pick in the draft, then completely botched it and didn’t get the best player.
Now that’s something to aspire to.
have 60% of the cubs win this month come from me? and by 60% i mean 3 wins?
You are correct, for 40% of wins have come on my starts, even though I only have one win because on May 1st, the inept moronic offense couldn’t give me some type of run support. What ever Bob Howry.
Did we really go 2-13 in May? Really? Joe Borchard. Really?
Leave me alone already!
I only got ten games? I got off lucky …..I’m going to go play the lottery!!!
Sounds about right. It’s definitely me.
I would tell you at this point, that making a move for the sake of making one is pointless. Then a few of my readers that aren’t too busy smelling flowers and petting kittens and spoon feeding old people in between large gulps of delicious iced tea and large shiny white-toothed smiles would hurl the contents of their stomachs onto their various keyboards, desks, what have you.
Michael,
We were going to give you 15 games, but we figured the extra 5 games you would have to play with your dead-ass team would be a greater punishment.
Stop bashing Al and the rest of us! We love the cubs and you all are just haters! And why don’t you say something about that jerk who had inappropriate chats with a 16 year old girl!
OK, so Jason Kendall can charge a mound with basically no provocation and get what, 5 games appealed down to 3. Then Barrett gets 10 games. Right.
Next on Dateline NBC: To catch a Predatory Lender. The dangers of your children learning about mortages on the Internet.
Yeah, but I’m an idiot…..Like Mr Watson said, it’s more of a punishment to actually keep playing on this dead in the water team.
What is the story about Donuts bitching out Sully anyway? I heard Boers and Bernstein talking about it the other day, but I haven’t seen the story. I wonder if its coincidental that Sully said in his question and answer deal on Chicagosports.com said he’s taking a hiatus for a few weeks. I know where he should tell Hendry where he can put his donuts. Since the Evil Stoney and Chippey aren’t around anymore I guess upper management has to have somebody to kick around since they themselves are infallible and couldn’t possibly be to blame for dieming the Titanic as seaworthy.
when i am gonna get my call-up?
Remember what it was like to have only one second baseman on the team?
No.
Oh come on, you couldn’t have one more second baseman up?
now that barrett is suspended and ramirez tweaks his groin and anus, and dusty thinks murton and cedeno are the problem and mabry finds his ribs in brian andersons fist
pierre-cf
hariston-2b
walker-1b
jones-rf
womack-ss
perez-3b
bynum-lf
blanco-c
Excuse me. I wasn’t paying attention. I was distracted by a 16 year old.
#7, and protesting doesn’t so any good either. 14 days to the World Cup. I’d rather watch a game that I know little or nothing about the rules than this Cub team.
Why am I appealing my suspension? I must be a bigger idiot than I thought
Michael, it’s a delaying action so that the Cubs can have you serve the suspension during the soft part of the schedule. Like whenever they’re scheduled to play an intersquad game.
Shouldn’t my status change to red alert right about now!
Hey Old Style Man… Could you run down to the seven eleven and get me a Bud?
Come on Andy, no Cubs Dead? I’m sure there will be lots of traffic.
Oh, we’ve got a Cubs Dead, and it’s sponsored!
Dusty continues to make Berut look like an ass talking about how it affects three people. For once stand by your guy, dick.
Bye guys, I hardly knew thee.