Sports radio in Chicago is almost listenable again right now as you turn it on and listen to Sox fans crying and moping and then trying to convince themselves that they cannot blow it completely and miss the playoffs. Now, all of a sudden, in their world it’s good to be the Wild Card because the “Wild Card team always wins the World Series.”

It’s true that the last three World Series winners got in via the wild card. But if the Sox back into the playoffs that way, they won’t really fit the profile.

The 2005 Sox are 91-61, but went 12-16 in August and are 10-10 so far in September. Even if they win out, their record from August 1 on would only be 32-26.

The 2004 Red Sox finished 98-64 and were 22-6 in August, then 20-11 in September (and a couple days in October). That’s 42-17, or 25 over from August 1 on.

The 2003 Marlins were 91-71 and went only 15-13 in August before a 17-8 September. That’s 32-21 or 11 over after August 1.

The 2002 Angels who started the run of Wild Card World Champions were 99-63 and went 22-11 in August that year, then 17-9 in September. From August 1 on they were 39-20, 19 over.

The reason three wild card teams have won the World Series isn’t because the wild card is the preferred entry into the playoffs, but rather, they were the hottest teams in baseball at the end of the season (actually, the Cubs were hotter than the Marlins in 2003, but they were the Cubs). None of these wild card teams backed into the playoffs, they all were surging at the end. That’s a big difference.

When Jacque Jones did his Austin kEARnS impression in last night’s 4-1 Twins win over the Sox, Cubs’ fans all over (and some Sox fans, too) immediately thought back to the Cubs’ final week games against Cincinnati. Get great pitching, squander chance after chance and blow it at home in extra innings to a team going nowhere. All that was missing in Brandon McCarthy’s Mark Prior impression was about a dozen strikeouts.

The Sox find themselves in a solid, but eroding playoff footing.

Three games in the loss column over the Red Sox, two over the Indians. No problem. We’ve never seen anything close to this go bad, have we?

The Cubs, playing better a year ago today than the Sox are right now (the Cubs had gone 11-3 in their previous 14 games, the Sox have gone 4-10 in theirs) managed to go 3-7 in their last ten and fall behind both the Astros and Giants, while playing the Mets, Reds and disinterested Braves.

The Giants went 5-4, but the Astros, the hottest team in baseball at the time, didn’t cool off and went 8-1.

Be afraid, Sox fans. Be very afraid.

Former Cub Andy Sisco helped out the Tribe last night. After blowing a 5-1 lead, the Indians trailed 6-5 in the sixth, when Sisco gave up a two run bomb to Coco Crisp.

Indians’ announcers John Sanders and Mike Hegan had something interesting to say about Sisco. They talked about how Andy was “highly regarded” by the Cubs, but hadn’t ever pitched to his ability and seemed motivated by being a Rule V pickup of the Royals, in that after he was selected he lost THIRTY-FIVE pounds. Sisco currently weighs 270. Yikes. He’s got good stuff, but in shaky outings against both the White Sox and Indians he’s followed that too-familiar pattern of Cubs’ bullpen guys. Fall behind, throw a straight fastball and watch it fly. Maybe they’re teaching that crap?

What is it in Chicago with half-witted third basemen hanging around to “analyze” their former teams? Ron Santo is much more icon than analyst, but what is Comcast’s excuse for Bill Melton? He doesn’t have the absent minded charm or endearingly bad toupee that Santo does. He’s just a dope in a $700 suit telling us things we already know.

Or telling us things we don’t already know because they’re wrong.

Chuck Garfien asked him if Brandon McCarthy had earned a permanent spot in the rotation with his eight inning one-run performance, coupled with strong spot starts in wins over Texas and Boston and Melton said, “I don’t know.”

You don’t know? What is to know? El Duque is el suckay, and McCarthy is getting guys out. What is to ponder?

Bill also said the Sox problem is that they “aren’t getting enough offense in their losses.”

Wow. That is astute. You mean, in the games when they score less than the opponent, they should score more? Somebody get this man a Mensa membership card. Wow.

But that wasn’t the dumbest thing anybody said on Comcast last night. No, those honors go to Norman Bates Bruce Levine, who said, that the Sox expected to lose on Thursday so it wasn’t a bad loss.

Huh? Losing a game in which you have the winning run on second base with less than two outs three times, and on third with less than two outs twice isn’t bad? Watching Bobby Jenks blow a third straight game isn’t bad? Ozzie having his hottest hitter bunt because Scott Podsednik (whose only skill is speed) can’t steal anymore, isn’t bad?

Bruce, this was as bad as it gets. If you’re going to win anything (a game, even) in the playoffs, you have got to take advantage of the chance provided in winning a game started by Johan Santana. A win last night would have proven to the Sox that they’re a force to be reckoned with. Now you take force and change the o to an a.

This is the kind of crap that doomed the Cubs last year and has doomed every Sox pennant run since 2001. The “oh, we didn’t expect to win tonight so it’s no big deal” crap when you go up against a guy like Santana or Dontrelle or Roger Clemens. You have to expect to win every night. No wonder the combined incompetence of baseball in this town is 195 years and counting.

Besides, it’s easier to beat Santana right now than it’s been in two years. The Twins have no offense. None. You just stay tied with him until he leaves then you win. The Sox did that part, but then they let both Juan Rincon and Jesse Crain blow fastballs by them in the biggest spots of the night. Oops.

Meanwhile, in Milwaukee, the Cubs got a strong eight innings out of Greg Maddux and after the game he said he was coming back for 2006. This is good news, since he and Carlos Zambrano have been the Cubs’ best pitchers the past two seasons.

Speaking of Carlos, when Dontrelle Willis batted seventh last night, wouldn’t it be–oh, I don’t know–fun if the Cubs moved Carlos up in the order Saturday against Roger Clemens. Honestly, at this point the Cubs’ best lineup would be:

Hairston, cf
Walker, 2b
Lee, 1b
Carlos, p
Nomar, ss
Murton, lf
Burnitz, rf
Hank White, c
Neifi, ss

I’d pay to see that.