Incredibly, unbelievably, the first Carlos Zambrano sploooooooge thread

[Yeti]

And so it begins....

The Cubs need a healthy Lilly as much as they need Carlos Zambrano to get his act together.

Even if Zambrano fit comfortably in 34-waist pants, I wouldn't trust him. The Cubs didn't in 2006 when they settled on a one-year deal to avoid arbitration with him before they caved and signed him to a long-term $91.5 million deal in August of 2007.

In the last three seasons, Lilly has won 44 games to Zambrano's 41, while both posted 26 losses. You can trust Lilly to pass on craving oohs and aahs from on-lookers with tape measure home runs in batting practice at Coors Field when he's nursing a bad back. He's compliant when he needs treatment.

Win thay gonna trade that spic bum!?Q?!!?

I guess I should also point a couple other things out:

And the pressure is on Zambrano now more than ever. The staff is missing its most-prized asset until at least May. Tom Gorzelanny, Sean Marshall, Jeff Samardzija (who's still learning on the job) and maybe the reborn Carlos Silva are vying for spots in Lou Piniella's rotation. That leaves Randy Wells, with one year of major-league success on his resume, as the Cubs steadiest starter.

Who killed Dempster?

No worries. Sam Fuld was in camp several days before he was required. And he will be among all of those Cubs on the top step of the dugout when the scrimmages commence. It's all for one and one for all.

THA KIDZ GOT HART

[Internet Apex]

Why would a Sox fan care what the hell Zambrano does or doesn't do?

[CT III]

Why would a Sox fan care what the hell Zambrano does or doesn't do?

And why would you trust a guy because he fits in 34-waist pants?  I wear 34-waist pants, and I wouldn't send me to the mound under any circumstances.

[Jon]

Why would a Sox fan care what the hell Zambrano does or doesn't do?

And why would you trust a guy because he fits in 34-waist pants?  I wear 34-waist pants, and I wouldn't send me to the mound under any circumstances.

Well, I wear 34-waist pants, and I have a lot of heart and play the game the right way.

[Yeti]

Why would a Sox fan care what the hell Zambrano does or doesn't do?

And why would you trust a guy because he fits in 34-waist pants?  I wear 34-waist pants, and I wouldn't send me to the mound under any circumstances.

Well, I wear 34-waist pants, and I have a lot of heart and play the game the right way.

I wear 36. sigh [/existencefail]

[Jon]

Why would a Sox fan care what the hell Zambrano does or doesn't do?

And why would you trust a guy because he fits in 34-waist pants?  I wear 34-waist pants, and I wouldn't send me to the mound under any circumstances.

Well, I wear 34-waist pants, and I have a lot of heart and play the game the right way.

I wear 36. sigh [/existencefail]

Where? Around your head?

[Eli]

Why would a Sox fan care what the hell Zambrano does or doesn't do?

And why would you trust a guy because he fits in 34-waist pants?  I wear 34-waist pants, and I wouldn't send me to the mound under any circumstances.

Well, I wear 34-waist pants, and I have a lot of heart and play the game the right way.

I wear 36. sigh [/existencefail]

Liar.

[Yeti]

Why would a Sox fan care what the hell Zambrano does or doesn't do?

And why would you trust a guy because he fits in 34-waist pants?  I wear 34-waist pants, and I wouldn't send me to the mound under any circumstances.

Well, I wear 34-waist pants, and I have a lot of heart and play the game the right way.

I wear 36. sigh [/existencefail]

Liar.

It's what my mom types back there.

[Yeti]

Since I have unabashed love of the man, I suppose I should point this out.

Since he has been starting again: 1.84 ERA, .605 Opponent OPS. 3-0. I'd love it if he gets to 10 wins after starting approximately 3.75-4 months for a shitty baseball team. Fuck the naysayers. Also, 3 of the 5 games in this streak were against playoff caliber teams.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Since I have unabashed love of the man, I suppose I should point this out.

Since he has been starting again: 1.84 ERA, .605 Opponent OPS. 3-0. I'd love it if he gets to 10 wins after starting approximately 3.75-4 months for a shitty baseball team. Fuck the naysayers. Also, 3 of the 5 games in this streak were against playoff caliber teams.

Agreed.  I'm willing to pretend the last two years never happened if we could bank on that for next year.

[Yeti]

Since I have unabashed love of the man, I suppose I should point this out.

Since he has been starting again: 1.84 ERA, .605 Opponent OPS. 3-0. I'd love it if he gets to 10 wins after starting approximately 3.75-4 months for a shitty baseball team. Fuck the naysayers. Also, 3 of the 5 games in this streak were against playoff caliber teams.

Agreed.  I'm willing to pretend the last two years never happened if we could bank on that for next year.

What did he do wrong last year?

[PenPho]

Since I have unabashed love of the man, I suppose I should point this out.

Since he has been starting again: 1.84 ERA, .605 Opponent OPS. 3-0. I'd love it if he gets to 10 wins after starting approximately 3.75-4 months for a shitty baseball team. Fuck the naysayers. Also, 3 of the 5 games in this streak were against playoff caliber teams.

Is this similar to how you would love it if Aramis hit .100 for the rest of the season?  

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Since I have unabashed love of the man, I suppose I should point this out.

Since he has been starting again: 1.84 ERA, .605 Opponent OPS. 3-0. I'd love it if he gets to 10 wins after starting approximately 3.75-4 months for a shitty baseball team. Fuck the naysayers. Also, 3 of the 5 games in this streak were against playoff caliber teams.

Agreed.  I'm willing to pretend the last two years never happened if we could bank on that for next year.

What did he do wrong last year?

78 walks in fewer than 175 innings, for starters...

[Yeti]

Since I have unabashed love of the man, I suppose I should point this out.

Since he has been starting again: 1.84 ERA, .605 Opponent OPS. 3-0. I'd love it if he gets to 10 wins after starting approximately 3.75-4 months for a shitty baseball team. Fuck the naysayers. Also, 3 of the 5 games in this streak were against playoff caliber teams.

Agreed.  I'm willing to pretend the last two years never happened if we could bank on that for next year.

What did he do wrong last year?

78 walks in fewer than 175 innings, for starters...

True.. That was one of his downsides, but his season was really efficient last year. His walk rate was 4.15 (per 9), which is just above his career average, so really we should expect a high number of walks. He did get his K-rate up over 8 per 9 innings for the first time since 2006. It was actually a better season than his 2007 season in which he won 18 games and was 5th in the Cy Young voting. His major downfall last year was the shitty team. His RS/IS (Run Support per Inning Started, which only figures innings in which he was actually in there, not the entire game, which can include times he's not in there) was 4.1 per 27 outs, which is by far the lowest in his full-time starting career. If the team had been worth a shit last year, I think his numbers would look pretty nice.

EDIT: Really what I'm saying here is that 2009 was a pretty good season still. This abortion has made me feel bad about my love for him. If he's a stud next year, I'll forgive him for a shitty run this year. The rest of his career has still been pretty awesome despite what people like Kaplan think

Is this similar to how you would love it if Aramis hit .100 for the rest of the season? 

Exactly. Actually, I was in a fuck the Cubs mood then. It seemed like it would be fun to see. However, when Aramis went on his tear in July, I loved it. I would like to see his numbers look pretty good when the season is done.

[R-V]

What does any of this have to do with Castro winning the batting title?