Incredibly, unbelievably, the first Carlos Zambrano sploooooooge thread

[Slaky]

I don't want Z traded. I love him so much and I know that leads me to overstate his abilities, which are pretty fucking good but not HOF like I frequently tell myself. I just can't get behind the idea of trading him. I also am in great fear over what the Cubs would get back. That goes back to my overstating how good he is but if they don't get a HOF second baseman out of it, I call it a fail

I know you're not being serious, but if the Yankees would somehow take Z's entire contract, the Cubs should be happy taking back nothing in return.

How do you know that? The man's unstable, Eli. If the Cubs trade Z his thin grasp on sanity will disappear and he'll spend the rest of his days in a padded-room crafting Zambrano-Milton Bradley fanfics.

I love Carlos, I do. But like Eli said, if the Cubs can rid themselves of him and get the Yankees' retarded bat boy in return - game on

So what is Hendry going to spend the $36 million on?

Nothing - it's not his play money anymore. The Rickettses will take it and add a few more years to Crane Kenney's contract.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

I don't want Z traded. I love him so much and I know that leads me to overstate his abilities, which are pretty fucking good but not HOF like I frequently tell myself. I just can't get behind the idea of trading him. I also am in great fear over what the Cubs would get back. That goes back to my overstating how good he is but if they don't get a HOF second baseman out of it, I call it a fail

I know you're not being serious, but if the Yankees would somehow take Z's entire contract, the Cubs should be happy taking back nothing in return.

How do you know that? The man's unstable, Eli. If the Cubs trade Z his thin grasp on sanity will disappear and he'll spend the rest of his days in a padded-room crafting Zambrano-Milton Bradley fanfics.

I love Carlos, I do. But like Eli said, if the Cubs can rid themselves of him and get the Yankees' retarded bat boy in return - game on

So what is Hendry going to spend the $36 million on?

Nothing - it's not his play money anymore. The Rickettses will take it and add a few more years to Crane Kenney's contract.

Jesus you just made me SO.  ANGRY.

[Bort]

I don't want Z traded. I love him so much and I know that leads me to overstate his abilities, which are pretty fucking good but not HOF like I frequently tell myself. I just can't get behind the idea of trading him. I also am in great fear over what the Cubs would get back. That goes back to my overstating how good he is but if they don't get a HOF second baseman out of it, I call it a fail

I know you're not being serious, but if the Yankees would somehow take Z's entire contract, the Cubs should be happy taking back nothing in return.

How do you know that? The man's unstable, Eli. If the Cubs trade Z his thin grasp on sanity will disappear and he'll spend the rest of his days in a padded-room crafting Zambrano-Milton Bradley fanfics.

I love Carlos, I do. But like Eli said, if the Cubs can rid themselves of him and get the Yankees' retarded bat boy in return - game on

So what is Hendry going to spend the $36 million on?

Nothing - it's not his play money anymore. The Rickettses will take it and add a few more years to Crane Kenney's contract.

Jesus you just made me SO.  ANGRY.

Normally I would joke that this would be as easy as shooting Mick's in a bar, but I'm too ANGRY to do so.

[R-V]

I don't want Z traded. I love him so much and I know that leads me to overstate his abilities, which are pretty fucking good but not HOF like I frequently tell myself. I just can't get behind the idea of trading him. I also am in great fear over what the Cubs would get back. That goes back to my overstating how good he is but if they don't get a HOF second baseman out of it, I call it a fail

I know you're not being serious, but if the Yankees would somehow take Z's entire contract, the Cubs should be happy taking back nothing in return.

How do you know that? The man's unstable, Eli. If the Cubs trade Z his thin grasp on sanity will disappear and he'll spend the rest of his days in a padded-room crafting Zambrano-Milton Bradley fanfics.

I love Carlos, I do. But like Eli said, if the Cubs can rid themselves of him and get the Yankees' retarded bat boy in return - game on

So what is Hendry going to spend the $36 million on?

Nothing - it's not his play money anymore. The Rickettses will take it and add a few more years to Crane Kenney's contract.

Bullplop. They'll put the money in a 12 month CD while they gather bids for the next shitter renovation.

Seriously, it shows how down on this franchise I am that I think they should just keep Z.

1. GM too incompetent to spend the $36 M wisely or get a good return for Carlos
2. Can't trust that the owners would actually spend the $36 M rather than using it to pay down debt

Might as well just keep a guy who will entertain us while this organization drives us insane.

[Waco Kid]

I don't want Z traded. I love him so much and I know that leads me to overstate his abilities, which are pretty fucking good but not HOF like I frequently tell myself. I just can't get behind the idea of trading him. I also am in great fear over what the Cubs would get back. That goes back to my overstating how good he is but if they don't get a HOF second baseman out of it, I call it a fail

I know you're not being serious, but if the Yankees would somehow take Z's entire contract, the Cubs should be happy taking back nothing in return.

How do you know that? The man's unstable, Eli. If the Cubs trade Z his thin grasp on sanity will disappear and he'll spend the rest of his days in a padded-room crafting Zambrano-Milton Bradley fanfics.

I love Carlos, I do. But like Eli said, if the Cubs can rid themselves of him and get the Yankees' retarded bat boy in return - game on

So what is Hendry going to spend the $36 million on?

Brandon Webb

[Tinker to Evers to Chance]

I don't want Z traded. I love him so much and I know that leads me to overstate his abilities, which are pretty fucking good but not HOF like I frequently tell myself. I just can't get behind the idea of trading him. I also am in great fear over what the Cubs would get back. That goes back to my overstating how good he is but if they don't get a HOF second baseman out of it, I call it a fail

I know you're not being serious, but if the Yankees would somehow take Z's entire contract, the Cubs should be happy taking back nothing in return.

How do you know that? The man's unstable, Eli. If the Cubs trade Z his thin grasp on sanity will disappear and he'll spend the rest of his days in a padded-room crafting Zambrano-Milton Bradley fanfics.

I love Carlos, I do. But like Eli said, if the Cubs can rid themselves of him and get the Yankees' retarded bat boy in return - game on

So what is Hendry going to spend the $36 million on?

Nothing - it's not his play money anymore. The Rickettses will take it and add a few more years to Crane Kenney's contract.

Bullplop. They'll put the money in a 12 month CD while they gather bids for the next shitter renovation.

Seriously, it shows how down on this franchise I am that I think they should just keep Z.

1. GM too incompetent to spend the $36 M wisely or get a good return for Carlos
2. Can't trust that the owners would actually spend the $36 M rather than using it to pay down debt

Might as well just keep a guy who will entertain us while this organization drives us insane.

If he grows out his mustache again and throws another umpire out of a game, he's contract will be worth every penny.

[Bort]

If he grows out his mustache again and throws another umpire out of a game, he's contract will be worth every penny.

TRUTH.

[CT III]

I don't want Z traded. I love him so much and I know that leads me to overstate his abilities, which are pretty fucking good but not HOF like I frequently tell myself. I just can't get behind the idea of trading him. I also am in great fear over what the Cubs would get back. That goes back to my overstating how good he is but if they don't get a HOF second baseman out of it, I call it a fail

I know you're not being serious, but if the Yankees would somehow take Z's entire contract, the Cubs should be happy taking back nothing in return.

How do you know that? The man's unstable, Eli. If the Cubs trade Z his thin grasp on sanity will disappear and he'll spend the rest of his days in a padded-room crafting Zambrano-Milton Bradley fanfics.

I love Carlos, I do. But like Eli said, if the Cubs can rid themselves of him and get the Yankees' retarded bat boy in return - game on

So what is Hendry going to spend the $36 million on?

Nothing - it's not his play money anymore. The Rickettses will take it and add a few more years to Crane Kenney's contract.

Bullplop. They'll put the money in a 12 month CD while they gather bids for the next shitter renovation.

Seriously, it shows how down on this franchise I am that I think they should just keep Z.

1. GM too incompetent to spend the $36 M wisely or get a good return for Carlos
2. Can't trust that the owners would actually spend the $36 M rather than using it to pay down debt

Might as well just keep a guy who will entertain us while this organization drives us insane.

Yeah, if Z gets traded the team's not going to run out and spend that money.  It doesn't look like they can afford to.

I mean, our new first basemen's one year contract is being paid on a 3 year installment plan.  Maybe they can put a starting pitcher on layaway?

[Internet Apex]

What prospects do the Yankees have that anybody would want? Should we be excited?

[Bort]

Should we be excited?

You new here?

[Armchair_QB]

I don't want Z traded. I love him so much and I know that leads me to overstate his abilities, which are pretty fucking good but not HOF like I frequently tell myself. I just can't get behind the idea of trading him. I also am in great fear over what the Cubs would get back. That goes back to my overstating how good he is but if they don't get a HOF second baseman out of it, I call it a fail

I know you're not being serious, but if the Yankees would somehow take Z's entire contract, the Cubs should be happy taking back nothing in return.

How do you know that? The man's unstable, Eli. If the Cubs trade Z his thin grasp on sanity will disappear and he'll spend the rest of his days in a padded-room crafting Zambrano-Milton Bradley fanfics.

I love Carlos, I do. But like Eli said, if the Cubs can rid themselves of him and get the Yankees' retarded bat boy in return - game on

So what is Hendry going to spend the $36 million on?

Is the answer "a 5-8 middle infielder and a couple of shitty veteran middle relievers"?

[Saul Goodman]

What prospects do the Yankees have that anybody would want? Should we be excited?

Jesus Montero.

That's it.  Unless you're intrigued by this.

[PenPho]

What prospects do the Yankees have that anybody would want? Should we be excited?

Jesus Montero.

That's it.  Unless you're intrigued by this.

Or this.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

What prospects do the Yankees have that anybody would want? Should we be excited?

Jesus Montero. Is the answer Jesus?

Z'S A KILLER!'d

[R-V]

What prospects do the Yankees have that anybody would want? Should we be excited?

Jesus Montero.

That's it.  Unless you're intrigued by this.

If we all agree that Robinson Cano is still a prospect does that mean they'll give him up for Z?